29. Ivy
twenty-nine
Ivy
Two Weeks Later
Well, I’m finally twenty-one today.
This year, my parents have gone all out. We’re in the Palisade Orchid Room, a stunning old-school Seattle venue with handblown artisan glass chandeliers and sweeping views of the downtown skyline, Mt. Rainier, Bainbridge Island, and the Olympic Mountains.
Huge floral arrangements adorn the room and the smell of fresh lilies mingles with the sea breeze wafting up from the open deck area. The long buffet table features a feast of Northwest specialties, including towers of King crab legs, oysters, and prawns. In the corner, there’s even a social media station where my name and age are displayed in big lighted letters, surrounded by balloons.
I bet there’s easily a hundred guests in attendance ranging from family friends, classmates from boarding school, and my BFFs from Italy—Elena, Javier, and Lucia. There’s quite a few people from Bright Shipping too.
Despite the festive atmosphere, I’m not used to this much attention. My folks insisted on throwing a big party to make up for all the years they didn’t acknowledge me. I hope turning my birthday back into a joyful occasion rather than a tragic memory of how we lost Forrest helps them heal.
I get why they’re doing this—but I’ve moved past needing their validation. I took charge of my own destiny three years ago. The day I met Cillian.
God. Cillian .
Since our intense conversation on the drive back from Tacoma, Cillian’s kept a polite distance. Our easy banter has been replaced by awkward formality. Every word we exchanged that day plays on a loop in my mind, making it hard to focus on anything else.
I’m blown away by Cillian’s confession of regretting his behavior the morning we broke up. But the revelation of his downward spiral into alcoholism—because of the demise of our relationship—has left me completely reeling.
I’d always figured he’d moved on. Knowing how much he suffered breaks my heart all over again. We took two wildly different paths to forget each other. Both spectacular failures it seems. We’re embedded in each other’s souls.
And yet, despite our lingering feelings for each other, both of our walls remain impossibly high. I doubt either of us have the fortitude to scale them again. The risk of failure is too devastating to contemplate.
Speaking of which, my eyes are drawn across the room where Cillian chats with his parents, Rory and Maureen. When he introduced me earlier, he barely looked me in the eye. They were both lovely, and charmed me with their to-die-for Irish brogue.
My God, will I ever get over him? I have no idea what to do. He agreed with me—there is no future for us. Why am I faced with such a huge undercurrent of unresolved emotions? He’s all I think about.
I want him. Crave him. Ache for him.
“Happy Birthday, Ivy!” Lucia runs toward me. “You look amazing.”
“ Grazie, amica mia .” I twirl in my knee-length turquoise dress that perfectly matches my eyes. “I’m glad you could make it. ”
Pierlo and Matteo join us and Pierlo hands me a beautifully wrapped gift. “ Buon compleanno , Ivy!”
“We wouldn’t miss this for the world.” Matteo grins. “It’s from both of us.”
It’s heavy and I tear the wrapping off to reveal a striking glass sculpture in silvery tones, full of graceful movement and light. “ Grazie mille . It’s gorgeous”
Lucia looks around the room. “This place is incredible. Your parents really know how to throw a party.”
“Yeah, they do.” I follow her gaze at the beautiful setup. “It’s been a long time since we celebrated my birthday like this.”
As we chat, I can’t help it, my eyes keep drifting to Cillian.
He’s moved to the patio, where my parents are laughing at something he’s saying. My God, the man is effortlessly handsome in a black tailored suit. I’ve never seen him in formal wear before and he’s absolutely jaw-dropping. The jacket hugs his broad shoulders and muscular frame perfectly. His dark hair is slicked back with a few loose waves that frame his chiseled, clean-shaven jaw.
His intense hazel eyes seem to always find mine, but his expression remains unreadable.
“Ivy, bella, are you okay?” Lucia touches my arm. “You seem distracted.”
I snap back to the conversation, forcing a smile. “Yeah. As cool as this party is, I’m a bit overwhelmed by how many people are here. Truthfully, I’m more comfortable with a more intimate gathering. I wish it were just the four of us.”
Matteo squeezes my hand. “It’s understandable. But remember, everyone is here to wish you well and you only turn twenty-one once. Enjoy it.”
“You’re right. Let’s get some food.” I clap my hands.
We make our way to the buffet, piling our plates high. “Everything tastes amazing.” Pierlo pops a mini crab cake in his mouth.
“They really outdid themselves. Flying the three of you here is my favorite part.” I lean my head on his shoulder, but find myself glancing around the room again to find him.
Sure enough, I catch Cillian looking at me. Then at Pierlo. Then back at me. His eyes are narrowed and his jaw is set.
He’s jealous.
My heart skips a beat, but I quickly look away. Even though he once had a crush on me, Pierlo and I never had a romantic connection. I’m not going to adjust my behavior around my dear friends for anyone, including my ex.
The party continues with laughter, music, and lively conversations. A couple of my classmates from boarding school come over to reminisce about old times. Madison, seems genuinely happy to see me.
“Happy Birthday, Ivy!” Madison says, giving me a hug. “It’s been ages. You look fantastic! ”
“Thanks, Maddy. You too.” I clink my champagne glass to hers.
Emma cocks her head. “What have you been up to? I heard you’ve been living in Florence after ditching grad school.”
Awwwkkkwwaard .
“Yeah…well.” I’m not sure what to say.
“C’mon Ivy, it’s time to spill. Who were you spending the night with that summer if it wasn’t me?” Emma takes a sip on her cocktail and turns to Maddy. “Remember when her dad called my dad looking for her? Apparently, miss goody-two shoes had a secret boyfriend after we graduated high school. She lied to her parents and said she was going to stay at my house.”
Maddy giggles. “Oh yeah . I remember being mad impressed. If you’d have let us know, we could have covered for you.”
“It wasn’t like that.” I try to seem nonchalant but my eyes flick to Cillian, who’s talking to my dad. “Mostly, I was sick of following the rules and didn’t want to be stuck at home alone all summer.”
“Ooooh. So there was more than one guy. Nice work.” Emma clinks her glass to mine.
Maddy squeals. “Ivy Bright, you sorceress .”
“Seriously, you guys.” I know my face is as red as a beet. “It wasn’t that big a deal. It was three years ago, can we drop it? ”
Emma shakes her head, tsking me. “You’re no fun. Now tell us about the hot dudes in Italy. Does that guy Pierlo have a girlfriend?”
I fill them in on my travels. They tell me about life at Wazzu. It’s nice to catch up, even if for a short while.
For the next couple of hours, I make my way around the room, greeting guests and thanking them for celebrating my birthday with me. As an introvert who can fake for a while, I feel more and more overwhelmed by the attention as the evening wears on. The constant smiles and well-wishes are starting to feel suffocating.
I need some solitude. And quiet. After I wrap up a conversation with our neighbor, I manage to slip out to the deck unnoticed and continue all the way to the dock where I take a huge, deep breath of sea air. It’s a welcome relief. I stroll to the end of the pier and gaze out at Puget Sound. The city lights reflect off the surface, creating a mesmerizing and calming pattern.
My entire body relaxes now that I’m away from the noise.
“Ivy,” a familiar voice calls out softly from behind me.
I turn to see Cillian walking toward me. He stops a few feet away. “Are you okay?”
“I needed some space.” I try to sound casual. “I’m a bit peopled out. ”
His eyes scan my face. He knows this about me. Few do because I’m adept at putting on a pleasant public face. “Yeah. It’s a beautiful party, though. Your parents did it up.”
“Yeah, they did. It’s their way of trying to make up for all the years we didn’t celebrate.” I can’t take my eyes off him. I long to feel his arms around me.
Cillian steps closer, his gaze intense. “About our conversation the other day…”
“Cillian, it’s okay.” I hold up a hand, stopping him. “We don’t need to keep hashing it out.”
He shakes his head. “No, um…it’s not, um. Look, I’ve been struggling. I didn’t like how we left things. I’m not as skilled with words as you are—I wasn’t able to articulate what I wanted to say.”
“I’ve been struggling too.” My heart begins to race. “I knew being around you would bring back old feelings, which you clearly don’t reciprocate. If I’ve made you uncomfortable in any way, I’m sorry. I wish I knew how to turn them off.”
He shuts his eyes and sighs. “Are you seeing the guy you were with upstairs?”
“Pierlo?” I ask, though I know exactly who he means. “No, he’s my dear friend from Italy.”
“Thank Christ.” Cillian closes the distance between us, grips my face with both palms and angles my head back. We look into each other’s souls before he lowers his mouth to mine and gives me a long, slow, openmouthed kiss that makes my toes curl. I kiss him back, pouring all of my confusion, longing, and love for him into this moment.
All of a sudden, it’s like no time has passed—and yet everything has changed in an instant.
We finally pull away, breathless. Our foreheads remain pressed together.
“Ivy,” he whispers, his voice ragged. He grabs my hands and brings them to his lips, kissing my knuckles. My heart melts.
My heart aches with the intensity of my feelings for him. “Cillian, I’m scared. I don’t want to confuse what you want with how I’m feeling. I couldn’t bear getting hurt again.”
“Are you serious? You’re all I want. My every fantasy. I tried to fight it, but it’s useless. You’re it for me.” He kisses me again.
Tears well up in my eyes. I blink them back. “Except, it’s not only about us. My parents, the company—it’s even more complicated. I’m not running away from my life anymore.”
“I don’t want you to. I’m willing to face anything if it means being with you.” His thumbs wipe the tears from my eyes. “I promise, I’ll do everything in my power to make this work. I’ll never hurt you again.”
I lean into his touch, the warmth of his hands soothes my fears. “I want to say yes, but we need to talk more and tonight’s not the time. Dad gets pretty tired, they’ll probably head home soon. I should get back up there.”
“One more minute.” Cillian envelops me in his arms. “I don’t want to let you go.”
After a long embrace, I clutch his forearms. “Um…my mom put my friends and I up at the Edgewater Inn for the weekend. I’m in the Presidential Suite. Stay with me tonight?”
He doesn’t hesitate. “Fuck, yes.”
“I’ve missed you so much,” I whisper.
Cillian inhales sharply. He runs his hands over my hair. “ Show me. ”
His fingers wind around the back of my neck as he lowers his lips to mine again. He kisses me gently, swiping his tongue along my lips. I snake my arms around his waist and press myself tightly against him. His hard cock presses against my belly, causing a shiver to run through my body in anticipation of our night. A groan I can’t control escapes. As our kiss deepens, I feel a very familiar pulse start to throb between my legs.
My God, am I going to come from kissing him?
“Let’s go inside.” I pull back slightly. “I’m about to climb you like a tree, but someone’s bound to come looking.”
The sound of laughter and music comes back into focus, reminding us of the world we’ve momentarily stepped away from .
Cillian nods and smiles sheepishly. “You go. I’m gonna need a minute. Maybe two.”
“Here.” I locate the card key to my hotel room in my bejeweled crossbody bag. “Room 523. Just go in. I’ll be there soon.”
After a quick kiss goodbye, I practically skip back up to the party. The other day, when he said we should leave things in the past, I was forced to give up hope. His kiss, though. Holy shit. For the first time in a long while, I feel complete.
On my way back to the restaurant, the otherworldly feeling I’ve kept suppressed, but felt the first time I saw him, permeates my body—Cillian and I are meant for each other. I believed it at eighteen and I believe it today. Later tonight, we’ll reunite and now nothing stands in our way.
Except, maybe, my dad.
Inside, people are dancing, laughing, and celebrating. I’m chatting with my Italian friends, my parents, and a few random people when I see Cillian slip back in. Neither of us can take our eyes off each other for a minute, but I compel myself to look away and focus on the conversations I’m engaged in.
A few minutes later, Lucia teases me on our way to the dessert table. “Where did you disappear to?”
“I needed some air.” I can’t help but flick my eyes to Cillian, who’s watching me intently.
Matteo follows my gaze and smirks. “Well, while you were getting some ‘air,’ you missed out on boogieing with us. Come on!”
I laugh, letting them pull me onto the dance floor. The music is loud, and the room is filled with joy. I get lost in the moment, dancing with my friends. I feel happy. Free. I’m surrounded by people who love me. It’s the perfect day.
Cillian watches from the sidelines, his gaze never leaving me. There’s a new understanding between us. A promise of something more.
Whatever it means, I can’t wait for us to get naked.
And for tonight, that’s enough.