36. Cillian
thirty-six
Cillian
Half Hour Later
I’ve never been so scared in my life.
Or so fucking angry.
We hit traffic and it’s tested every ounce of my patience to get to my townhouse, but finally we’re here.
My heart aches for Ivy. She’s curled up in the passenger seat shaking like a leaf. Her eyes are vacant and unfocused.
Seeing her like this, shattered by her father’s cruelty, makes me realize how horrific things must have been growing up. She’s never shared much about this part of her home life, other than what happened to her brother and how traumatic it was for her parents. Jesus Christ, with all their wealth and status, they’ve done Ivy such a great disservice.
How am I going to help her through this?
My own mind is reeling from what happened. The things her father said. The venom in his words…I’ve never seen this side of him before. For the past three years, he’s been tough but also fair and kind. It’s hard to reconcile the monster we encountered with the man who laughed and joked with me and my folks at Ivy’s birthday party a couple of weeks ago.
Now’s not the time to dissect it, though. I park the car and rush around to help her out. She attempts to stand, but her legs buckle immediately. Without another thought, I scoop her into my arms, cradle her quivering body against mine and carry her inside all the way up to my bedroom where I gently lay her down on the bed.
The townhouse is blessedly silent, a stark contrast to the chaos we experienced at Ivy’s house. It’s hard to believe she’s never been here before—we couldn’t make it happen after we got back together with her father’s setback. As I tuck her into bed, I hope the unfamiliar surroundings won’t scare her.
“I’m here for you, baby,” I whisper as I unbutton her blouse. “Let me help you get comfortable.”
Ivy’s eyes are almost blank as I undress her and help her into one of my sweatshirts. My clothes are far too big, but at least she’ll be warm. I pull back the duvet and gently slide her under the blankets. Then, I undress and slip in beside her, enveloping her in my arms. She’s cold. Or in shock. I don’t know, but her body shivers uncontrollably. I press my lips to her forehead, wishing I could take away what just happened.
Once I’ve gotten her tucked tightly in the crook of my arm, I search for information on my phone about how to help someone experiencing a traumatic shock. I read about the symptoms—chills, dizziness, shakiness, rapid heartbeat—check, check, check, and check. Shit . Apparently, her brain is trying to protect her from the emotional abuse she experienced. For now, all I can do is provide her with comfort and support.
I’m not a patient man, though. If she doesn’t settle within the hour, I’m bringing her to the emergency room.
Thankfully, Ivy begins to relax a bit. I kiss her forehead and whisper soothing words. “I’m here, Ivy. I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”
She turns and nestles against me, wrapping her arms around my waist. Almost like a reflex, her entire body stiffens and with one final full-body shudder, she finally let’s go, collapsing against me. I hold her tighter, feeling a surge of protectiveness.
I’ll do whatever it takes to help her heal. She deserves to be happy and loved without conditions or judgment .
Ivy’s breathing steadies and she falls asleep. I wait until she’s completely out and, careful not to wake her, gently slide out of bed.
My da answers on the second ring. “Cillian? What’s going on?”
“Not good news. Stan caught us…uh, in the office in the most humiliating way. It was horrendous. He demanded Ivy come home immediately, so I went with her for support—to stand by her and face the consequences.” I pace outside the bedroom door, phone pressed to my ear, quietly recounting the evening’s events in a frenzy. “Fuck, Da. He accused me of being a predator, corrupting his daughter, and ruining her life. Even worse, he slut-shamed his own daughter in the most despicable way.”
There’s a pause on the other end before he responds, “Jaysus, Cillian. Are you okay?”
“No. He fired me on the spot. I’m supposed to get everything off the Bright jobsite immediately. Before morning.” I wince saying it out loud. I’ve never been fired from anything in my life.
“Kill.” My dad sighs loudly. “I don’t give a feck about the job. Are you and Ivy okay?”
How can I answer? I can’t even begin to process the horror we endured—it was the most gut-wrenching moment of my life. Stan’s accusations about me sting, but it’s the venom he spat at Ivy that truly tears at my soul. Hearing him degrade the woman I love has crystallized how far I’m willing to go to ensure her happiness.
“Ivy’s not doing well.” A sob escapes before I can choke it back. “He kicked her out. Her whole life has been shattered. I can’t leave her alone.”
Da doesn’t hesitate. “Aye. Of course. I’ll handle Bright. You focus on Ivy.”
“He’s in the hospital.” I shake my head in disbelief. “Her mom texted Ivy a couple hours ago. It seems like he’s stable but he’ll be there a few days. My information is coming from a flash on a screen, though. I’ll know more after Ivy wakes up.”
“For fuck’s sake. Take care of her, I’ve got your back, son.” Da says goodbye and we hang up.
I return to Ivy’s side to cuddle her while she sleeps. My mind races with thoughts of our future and how we’ll navigate this mess. What will become of her family? Bright Shipping? McGloughlin Construction?
I have no answers.
The entire situation is a disaster.
Shit. I must have fallen asleep .
Ivy faces away from me. I’m spooning her tightly as she snores softly.
It’s morning. The first light of dawn filters through the blinds and a heavy sense of dread settles over me.
The memory of her father’s vicious tirade rushes back. His savage words echo like a relentless drumbeat. Ivy is strong, but I’m terrified. This isn’t how I envisioned us starting our lives.
I have no idea what comes next.
Ivy stirs in my arms and rolls onto her back. A few minutes later, her eyes flutter open. For a moment, she looks disoriented, but then she sees me, and a small smile crosses her lips.
“Good morning.” I comb my fingers through her hair.
“I don’t remember coming up here,” she murmurs. “Are we at your townhouse?”
“Yeah. How are you feeling?” I trace a finger along her shoulder.
“I think, better…” She scrunches up her nose. Her eyes still hold a shadow of the night before. “I’m sorry…”
“No, baby.” I gather her to me. “You have nothing to apologize for. None of this is your fault. What your dad said was unhinged. I think he needs help. I’ve never experienced anything like it. ”
Tears pool in her eyes then spill down her cheeks. My heart breaks for her. “Last night was as bad as it’s ever been.”
“ Ivy .” I cannot believe anyone, let alone her father, would ever be nasty to such a sweet soul. “Has he really spoken to you like that before?”
She takes a shaky breath. “Well… after my brother died he was angry all the time. He’d lose his temper with me over stupid things. My grades. Doing the dishes. Cleaning my room. I generally tried hard not to do anything to set him off. He rarely loses control around other people.”
“He yells at your mom the same way?” I cannot imagine, in my wildest dreams, speaking to my daughter cruelly, let alone my wife and family.
Then I remember how I spoke to Ivy once…
“Well…” Ivy pauses and her eyes grow distant. “I’ve never seen him do it. Look, I’m not trying to defend him, but losing a child is possibly the worst thing to happen to someone.”
“Sure, and…” I hold my tongue, she’s been through enough for now. I’m not going to rip her dad a new asshole… yet .
“He and my mom reacted differently in their grief. He lashed out. She clammed up.” Ivy squints into the distance, as if trying to recall. “Honestly, I guess it’s possible. He never spoke to me like that in front of her either, so maybe that’s how he gets away with it. No witnesses.”
I’m incensed but try to keep my shit together. “Still, she let him take it out on you.”
“No, she truly wasn’t around,” Ivy says this matter-of-factly. “Before yesterday, the worst he’d been was three years ago, when he found out I hadn’t been spending nights at home while I was with you. He screamed at me for days. Called me similar appalling names. It’s why I left.” Her voice breaks and tears well up in her eyes. “But last night… I thought we’d moved past it. To have it happen again was worse than anything I ever imagined. I think I blacked out.”
“I feel sick about it,” I admit. “I wish we’d have told him after your birthday. I can’t unhear what he said to you.”
“I thought he’d changed,” Ivy murmurs. “We tried everything. Went to family counseling…”
Ivy doesn’t say anything more but I know from the shuddering of her body she’s crying. We lie there for a while longer, holding each other. There really isn’t much more to say. Now is my time to be there for my girl and, hopefully, make her feel safe.
At some point, my stomach roars. We didn’t have dinner last night and I’m starving. “How about I make us some breakfast?”
“Sounds good. I don’t think I can handle anything heavy, though.” Her voice is weak, defeated.
I kiss her forehead. “How about some scrambled eggs and toast? Something light to start the day.”
“Yeah.” She looks up at me and I’m relieved to see bit of color returning to her cheeks. “Perfect.”
I lead Ivy, who wears only my sweatshirt, through my townhouse. “It’s hard to believe you’ve never seen this place.” I open the door to the spacious living room. “To think we planned on you moving in after your birthday.”
Ivy looks out the window into the backyard, not really paying attention. “I probably should talk to my mom. Despite everything, I can’t stop worrying about my dad. I need to know he’s okay.”
“Here’s your phone, it was on the charger.” I move behind her and clasp my arms around her middle. “You can call her while I make the eggs.”
“I’m scared.” Ivy leans back against me. “I’m not sure what to say. Or, how I’m supposed to feel.”
I kiss the back of her head several times. “Let’s try to take it one step at a time. Food first. Decisions later.”
Taking her hand, I lead Ivy to the kitchen and get her settled at the counter.
Ivy immediately scans her messages. Her eyes widen and she looks up at me and tells me what I already know. “Mom’s been texting since last night. Dad’s stable and resting. She wants to see us. To check on me and talk to you too. She wants to understand what went down.”
“Do you want to talk to her?” I set her eggs on the counter.
Ivy hesitates. “Um…I don’t know, I don’t feel up to facing more anger or disappointment.”
“Let’s take the day for ourselves, then. Better yet, we’ll make it a self-care day for you, baby.” I gently rub her back.
Ivy spins around on her stool and hooks her heels around my knees. She takes my hand and brings it to her bare pussy and moves my fingers through her folds. My finger finds her clit.
“What do you need, baby?” I circle her nub. “Do you need to come? A little relief?”
Ivy nods furiously. “ Yeah . Does that make me a slut?”
Anger burns deep in my soul.
“Of course not. If an orgasm will help release some tension, it’s the ultimate self-care.” I caress her face as I slide my fingers through her wetness. “Let me make it better.”
Ivy nods but looks away, almost like she’s ashamed of expressing her needs.
I slip my fingers inside her and rub. “Enjoying pleasure with the man you love is normal. Don’t let your father’s vile words make you feel less-than. When we have sex, it’s sacred. Every time. ”
Ivy spreads her legs, allowing me better access. Soon she’s writhing against my hand.
I pick up the pace. “Does that feel okay?”
“You fucking me will feel even better.” Ivy tugs my sweatshirt off, leaving her naked, splayed on the stool, with my fingers plunging in and out of her.
My breath catches. “Are you sure…”
“Yes.” She yanks my joggers down and my cock springs free, standing at full attention.
Okay, then. Everything else can wait.
My woman needs me.