19. “Royals” #2
“You’re in your first blush with Javi, and we need to give Arthur time to work, so we’re not gonna get together tonight.
But tomorrow night, after you three get off of work,”—Luna bounced her head to Shanti, Jess and me—“we’ll meet at headquarters.
” Her gaze came to rest on me. “It’s not a lot of time, I love it that you two are so loved up, you should have some space to settle in, but the show must go on. ”
I agreed.
As much as I’d like to hole up and cuddle and watch movies and snooze with and pounce on Javi for two or three weeks (or months), the show had to go on.
“And we also asked Arthur for intel on Javi’s dad. So, if he can get anything, we can talk about that tomorrow too,” Luna concluded.
That, I needed ASAP. Because if my mom could make me feel small and meaningless by just hearing her voice say my name, I couldn’t imagine how Javi’s dad made him feel when he blew up his phone, demanding Javi give him something he one hundred percent did not earn.
And as Javi did with me (in his way), I was going to put a stop to it.
“Works for me,” I said.
“Great, we have a plan,” Luna said, and she put her hand in.
The rest of us were putting our hands in to do our Angel huddle break, when Tex boomed from the coffee cubby, “I don’t hear servers serving!”
Which meant we all smiled at each other before we said, “One, two, three, Angels unite .”
* * *
I decided to do it when Javi wasn’t around, but Jess and Shanti were.
That was, Javi was around, since he was sitting outside right then, waiting for me in his truck, because our shift was over, but he wasn’t right there.
And what I’d decided to do was listen to the three voicemails my dad left, and the one from Easton.
I wanted to get it out of the way so I could have a chill night with my guy.
But I didn’t want to do it alone. I needed bestie backup. And there was no time during the day, because we were consistently busy.
I started with Easton, because I knew whatever he said wouldn’t be a surprise.
And it wasn’t.
This being him biting at me, “Fucking uncool, Harlow. You should be ashamed of yourself. Didn’t hear you complaining when Mom gave you a Mustang to drive when you were in high school.
Get over yourself. Apologize to our mother.
Unless you do, I don’t want you at my birthday dinner or to see you at all. ”
He had conveniently forgotten that Mom and Dad gave him that Mustang.
Since he’d gone to Columbia, and didn’t need it due to it being easier to get around New York taking advantage of their mass transit system, he’d left it behind.
And since he wasn’t in Phoenix, he didn’t know I only got to use it when Mom allowed me to, which frankly, wasn’t that often.
Though, every time she did, she reminded me to, “Be extra careful with that car, Harlow. It’s your brother’s pride and joy.
It would devastate him if something happened to it,” which made me so nervous to borrow it, in the end, I didn’t even bother to ask.
Instead, I bummed rides from friends or borrowed Dad’s car.
Everything that was me wanted to call Easton and explain this, take time to make him understand, give my brother one more shot at being a brother.
Everything that was me, though, was the old me.
The new me, the real me, knew he’d never understand, no matter what I said, no matter the pains I took to explain.
This made me get mad he was being such a dick, not to mention, sticking his nose into something that really didn’t concern him. It was between Mom and me.
Therefore, I opened my texts to Jessie muttering an alarmed, cautionary, “Babe.”
I ignored her and texted, That Mustang was yours.
You still own it. I didn’t get a new car at age sixteen.
So it isn’t me who has to get over myself.
You never gave the barest effort to get to know me.
If you never see me again, no skin off your nose, you’re not losing a sister, you never had one.
And the same goes for me, since I never had a brother.
You were too busy enjoying Mom kissing your ass .
I heard Shanti’s shocked hiss, but I sent the text, then I blocked my brother.
After that, I went again to voicemail.
“Maybe you should take a break,” Jessie suggested.
In for a penny…
I hit go and listened to Dad’s first.
“Harlow, honey, your mother is very upset. We need to talk. I’m not sure what got into you, but I think there are some wounds your mother inadvertently inflicted that we need to discuss. Call me.”
Inadvertently?
Maybe at the time.
After I shared my truth?
The woman needed to self-reflect.
Second voicemail: “Your mother says you’re dating someone.
Is it serious? She made it sound serious.
I hope you understand how she and I would both be upset that our daughter hasn’t shared she has someone in her life to the point this relationship sounds serious before we heard that first word about him. Please phone me.”
The last voicemail was playing when the back door opened, and Javi and Eric stepped in.
My dad being stern.
“Harlow Nicole, it’s unconscionable that you would speak to your mother the way you did, and your brother and I have been trying to reach out to you, and you’re ignoring us. This is not the daughter I raised. I expect to receive your call the minute you listen to this.”
I was seeing the error of my ways with the rage on Javi’s face.
We should have listened to these when we were on a break.
Or maybe, never at all.
“Javi, brother,” Eric said in the same alarmed, cautionary tone Jessie had used moments earlier.
And just like me, Javi ignored him.
He walked to me, took my phone from my hand and stared into my eyes.
“Gonna stop me?” he asked.
“I want a chill night with you,” I replied.
“I want to make dinner and eat it with you and watch TV with you then take a bubble bath and then have sex and go to sleep. I shouldn’t have listened.
I should have known they’d take her side.
I should have known I was imploding my place in our family simply by telling them I would no longer accept them treating me like garbage.
I did, and it hurts. But only because I now know that whatever I hoped would be, will never be.
So now I have to do the work to get used to knowing that and decide whether it’s healthier for me to go no contact totally, or put in the work to have something surface, even if it’ll never be meaningful. ”
Javi handed back my phone then hooked me around my neck and yanked me into his chest.
“I’m okay, Javi,” I said with my face smushed against his shirt.
And weirdly, I was.
It felt good to tell Easton off. I’d been wanting to do that for forever.
And although it didn’t feel the same to understand where I stood with my family was always where I stood, and always would be, now I understood it totally and completely.
I understood in a way I could make an informed decision.
I understood I could stop putting effort into something that was never going to give me what I needed in return.
Maybe I’d react later.
But for now, I was okay.
Javi didn’t let me go, but he did let me turn my head so my face wasn’t smushed into his chest, and, obviously, Javi holding me was part of why I could be okay.
Shanti rubbed my back and murmured, “They suck. You don’t. Looks like Javi has this covered. If you need reinforcements, though, you know where to find me.”
And more reason why I could be okay.
Still held close to Javi, I looked at her and said, “Thanks, babe.”
Jessie did much the same, but she did it pulling a lock of my hair playfully and saying, “You feel like TPing their house, I’m all in.”
And yet more reason why I was okay.
Also, that sounded fun.
But instead of taking her up on it, I just smiled and semi-repeated, “Thanks, Jess.”
She gave me a smile back, it was a little off because she was worried about me, but that was what besties did.
Eric came into my vision, and he winked at me.
It was hot.
Man, I just loved he was my bestie’s guy, he was the greatest.
They all left.
Javi let me go only to catch me on both sides of my neck.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asked.
“Are we going to make dinner, eat it, watch TV, chill out and have sex before we go to sleep?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’m okay.”
Javi’s face got soft before he tucked me to his side and headed us toward the door.
He did this asking, “What’s this about a bubble bath?”
I looked up at him. “Do you take baths?”
“No.”
“I could delete that from my schedule,” I offered.
“Or you can show me how fun bubble baths are.”
“They aren’t fun, they’re relaxing,” I educated.
He grinned wolfishly at me, and my nipples responded accordingly.
“Okay, we’ll do a fun one,” I whispered.
He dropped a kiss on me, loaded me in his truck and took me home so we could make dinner, unwind and chill out.
And yeah.
We had a bubble bath together.
On first glance, Javi and I didn’t fit real great in his tub.
But we made it work.
Oh yeah.
Boy, did we.