Chapter Thirteen
Kaos
“It might be important.” Spiro sat up, but kept me on his lap.
With a whiny sound, I unlocked the phone to a voice clip from Cillian.
“Check your video. Just do it.” His usually high tone sounded bossy.
I opened GlobeShack and frowned.
“What’s wrong?” Spiro asked.
“Must be a glitch. I have two million views on the pizza video.”
“Let me see.” He glanced over my shoulder. “Looks legit. People finally came to their senses and are appreciating your content.”
“I’ve had viral videos before. The interest drops quickly after that. Look, the comments section is flooded with mentions of you.” I grinned.
“What? Why me? What do they say? Was this a bad idea?”
“Don’t worry, it’s all good things. They’re calling you Tentacle Daddy and saying they’d rather devour you than the pizza.” I giggled. “I feel the same.”
“You’re shitting me.” He rested his chin on my shoulder and read as I scrolled down.
“Nope.” I pointed to a few. “Oh look, a marriage proposal.”
“Dear God of the Seven Seas,” Spiro whispered. “This can’t be real.”
“You’re not a social media person, are you? You sound so surprised.”
Spiro pursed his lips. “No. I’d rather be cooking.”
I put the phone away and kissed his cheek. “Well, they all want a piece of you, but I’m the one who can have it.” I nibbled on his ear while caressing his gills with my fingertips.
He groaned and tossed his head back. “Damn right.” His tentacles sneaked up my thighs and under my boxer briefs.
I arched, giving Spiro easier access
My phone rang again. “I better pick it up. He’s relentless.” I straightened up, but remained on Spiro’s lap.
“Did you see your post? This is crazy!” Cillian yelled into the phone as the loud noise of a busy street sounded behind him. “And why the fuck are you not answering? Are you being railed every second of the day?”
I snorted. “Yes. And yes, I saw. It’s fantastic, but people will forget about it by tomorrow, and it will all be back to normal like last time.”
“No, this is different. Also, you told me he’s hot, but holy shit, you’re fucking a god! Or he’s fucking you, but still. Damn!” The noise quieted, and I heard the click of a door. He must have entered his apartment.
“I know.” I grinned and felt the vibrations of Spiro’s chuckle through his chest as I leaned back against him.
“What was that?” Cillian asked.
“I think Spiro heard you.” I said through laughter.
“Well, I didn’t lie.” He sounded completely unfazed. “Can you turn on the video?”
“Yeah.” I did, and Cillian’s pretty face appeared on my screen. His medium-length hair was perfectly styled and parted on the side, and his freckles popped up starkly against his flushed cheeks.
Cillian rustled something out of my field of view. “Some products came for you. Do you want me to send you pics?”
Spiro lifted me off him and onto the couch, then left for the kitchen, leaving me to talk to my friend.
“Nah, they can wait. I told all the brands that I’ll be away. I only took some socks and smaller things with me to post about. How’s your Fedora-Lee Cosmetics deal?”
“I’ll be promoting their new line. I’m hoping they’ll accept my idea for a partnership.” He showed me his fingers crossed.
“They’d be stupid if they didn’t.”
He shrugged. “We’ll see. Your mom came by our apartment asking after you. Did you call her?”
“I texted her that I’m fine.” I sighed. “She doesn’t understand why I had to take a trip by myself. She told me I had everything there, and I’d get lost and come home crying.”
“She’s probably worried. But also wrong.”
“Well, I’m excited to see Chicago soon since the storm is about to be over.”
I talked to Cillian about the drama at his work and the cute guy who’d been visiting the store he’d been working at often to buy perfume.
By the time I hung up, the views had doubled on the pizza video. I checked my hair in the phone’s camera and pressed record.
“Thanks for the love on the deep dish pizza vid. It was delicious! Full review with a list of ingredients coming soon!” I zoomed in and out of my face.
“So for the first time in my life, I had a custom gluten-free deep dish pizza, and it was fab! It’s been about half an hour and my stomach feels okay, no problems!
I’ll go eat some more! Give ‘em Kaos!” I waved to the camera and turned it off.
I posted instantly since I didn’t need to edit anything in the video.
More comments popped up, and they ranged from excited, to thirsty, to aggressive.
I ignored the negative ones about my ears, and the weird stuff about Spiro and me.
Others were wholesome: “The content creator’s commitment: finding a way to post about food when stuck in a house during a snowstorm.
This is the whole reason I pay for Wi-Fi! ”
I giggled at that one just as Spiro returned from the kitchen with a plate of peeled oranges.
“I brought some snacks.”
“Thanks.” I shoved a piece into my mouth. “Oh, so sweet.”
Kaos pulled out a bag of oranges and proceeded to peel more. “What endorsements do you have?”
“Gluten-free cereal is my favorite. I won’t support products I don’t like or don’t believe in.
I vet brands now too, after getting roped into more scams than I’m willing to admit.
” I lost a lot of money that way too. “Apart from food, a fun brand noticed my obsession with colorful socks and they sent me ethically sourced, organic cotton products to promote.” I wiggled my toes covered in banana-patterned knee-highs.
“I get some racy comments on those pics, so I don’t post them often anymore, even if they are an ego boost.”
“Why would you need that? You’re gorgeous.” Spiro kissed my temple.
I pushed him playfully. “I’m a mess. I want to focus on the food stuff more than clothing, anyway.”
“Did you take any naked pics in the socks?” He waggled his eyebrows. “I’d pay for that tier.”
“I’ll model anything for you in exchange for an orgasm.
” A giggle escaped me. “I thought about making an account on CryptidCraze for a hot second, but it would take me away from food testing, so I’d rather stick to that.
” The app that focused on erotic content from monster creators was insanely popular and may give me a better source of income than my day job at the cemetery, but I didn’t feel sexy enough to use it.
“I like these rainbow socks the most. They match your vibe. So if you ever want to seduce me, you know what to wear.”
“Mmhmm.” I booped his nose.
He showed me that he was scrolling through my profile. “You’re so resourceful.”
“That’s something I never hear from anyone.” I took his upper tentacle and draped it over my lap.
Spiro lowered his phone and gave me a serious look. “They don’t know you, then.”
“Do you?” I played with the suckers, watching them contract under my touch.
“I’d like to.” His words came in a near whisper.
Spiro’s phone rang in his hand with a Swimming With the Sharks song on low volume.
Of course, I startled like an idiot and shot backwards. Spiro caught me in his upper tentacle and righted me without missing a beat.
“My family’s group chat is blowing up.” Spiro scrolled and chuckled.
“Look.” He showed me the screen with a snap of my post paused at the moment the camera was on him.
“Just so you’d know who is who is who,” he pointed at the names in the chat, “you’ll recognize Rick from the band and my eldest brother Ner.
Marin is the middle child, and Kert is his boyfriend.
My dad is not very talkative, but he sends good memes, and Mom is the driving force behind the group chat. ”
Below the pic in my post came the comments:
Mom: Spirodon, is that you?
Ner: He’s finally putting his cooking skills to good use. Getting laid.
Marin: Nah, he’s too busy baking a dessert.
Rick: You guys are assholes. Sorry, Scylla.
Mom: You’re right, Ricky. What is happening, Spiro? The boys say that you’re trendy.
Ner: Trending.
Marin: It’s trending!
Kert: You don’t owe them anything, Spiro! Run! Hide!
Marin: Traitor!
“Let me explain it all to them, or Mom will start calling me.” Spiro repositioned me on his lap and started typing.
Spiro: That cute guy I told you about is posting about my cooking. This was the first time he showed me on video.
Kert: You got your face online for a second and became famous right away. Way to go! I’m gonna follow your man. If he got you wrapped up around his tail, I need to know more. Bake him the cake that you made for my birthday once! That was delicious!
Spiro: I’m trying new recipes now, but we’ll see. I’m still waiting for pics from Marin’s latest exhibition. I’m counting on you, Kert.
Kert: will send soon.
Spiro locked the phone and tossed it aside on the couch.
“You know your brothers’ partners well.” I covered my lap with his tentacles, creating a soft—albeit heavy—blanket.
Spiro nodded. “Kert a bit more, because he used to share a dorm room with Marin when he went to study in Berlin. I visited them there years ago, but they remained friends, so it was easy to reconnect with him. Rick and Ner travel a lot when they’re touring, but when they take a break, they spend a few weeks in our hometown, so we hang out often. ”
“It’s so nice that you’re all so close.” I couldn’t remember when I had spent quality time with my family. And whenever we met, I was reminded of the failure I was as a person and an incompetent shifter. But Spiro didn’t need to know that.
“That’s not the case with your siblings?”
“Nah. They’re all much older than me and moved out when I was little, so we never grew close. And now everyone has their own lives.” I shrugged, even though my stomach churned. Family bonds. What a silly thing to be so extremely jealous of. And yet, here I was.
“There’s only a tiny age difference between us, so we were always together—a three-pack of trouble.
Now, it feels like they’re rubbing their happy relationships in my face, but I know that’s not true.
In any case, I’m married to my kitchen at this point.
” His smile fell as he looked into the fireplace, then kissed my shoulder.
“Around Christmas time, the extended family chat becomes more active as we’re all preparing to meet.
I’m not going this year, but you’ll see the craziness through the texting. ”
Spiro was talking about the future as if we had any, but I knew what he meant.
The timer on the oven sounded, and Spiro stood up with me in his tentacles, then deposited me gently on the countertop in the kitchen.
He checked on the pavlova but left it in the oven. “It will taste best if I eat it off you.”
“I’ll be on the table, then.”
“It needs to cool down, and will be best by tomorrow.” “Now I’d rather devour you here. Can you be ready in fifteen minutes, wearing only the rainbow socks?”
“Yes, Chef!”