Chapter Twenty
Spiro
Kaos was not in the house.
He was gone.
The moment I woke up, the place felt off.
I jumped out of my bed and ran through all the rooms. He was not doing any last-minute laundry, or preparing a surprise breakfast. His room was empty.
He’d packed his suitcase and left when I was still asleep.
In my panicked search, I missed the note stuck with a magnet to the fridge, written in beautiful cursive.
Thank you for everything. I will remember our time forever. I need to say goodbye to Chicago too. Have a wonderful life. Kaos.
I pulled the piece of paper to my chest. “No, Kaos. Fuck.” I had been planning to spend the morning with him and say our goodbyes properly, making sure we’d keep in touch.
After he’d shifted, he behaved off all day.
He wouldn’t eat, avoided proximity, and insisted on spending hours packing his suitcase alone in his room.
I’d assumed he’d wanted our sex the night before to be our last. It had been absolutely perfect, so that made sense.
I didn’t push him for contact, and he refused to talk to me about his change or anything else.
In the evening, I’d been hoping he’d see the open door to my bedroom and come over to sleep next to me.
He hadn’t.
I’d waited for him for hours, which resulted in me sleeping way later than usual in the morning. It was my own damn fault. Then again, I couldn’t force him to stay. But I had to make sure he was okay.
His flight was late in the afternoon, so I took the car and stopped at all the local stores and places we’ve visited in hopes he was shopping nearby.
When no one had seen him there, I drove downtown and traced all the spots we'd been to until it hit me. He’d wanted to say goodbye to Chicago, so he’d gone somewhere he liked the most. It wouldn’t be the cemetery; that was too cold.
That left one place.
When I finally found a parking spot, I left the car and ran to the tiny pizzeria under the L train tracks.
My heart dropped when I noticed him sitting in a booth like a croissant, and moping over a dip dish slice. I burst through the door and rushed to him.
“Oh my sweet kitten, are you okay?”
Kaos jumped half a foot in the air then looked at me with wide eyes. He nodded, then shook his head. “I don’t know what I was thinking, but I couldn’t just say goodbye to you.” He frowned. “Spiro… you should be on your way to the airport. Your flight was earlier than mine.”
“I don’t care. I had to see you. Can I sit?” I pointed to the space next to him, not willing to be as far as opposite him in the booth.
Kaos scooted to the side, wincing.
“What happened? Why are you sitting like this?” He was leaning on one ass cheek as if he was hurting.
Kaos looked away. “I did something stupid.”
A wave of dread washed over me. Did he find someone to fuck him to forget me? That would be fair to me, but I’d hate for him to be so drastic with himself.
“Whatever it is, I’m here for you.”
“That’s not true. You’re leaving, but at least I got something to keep you with me forever.” He lifted his hoodie, then stopped. “I can show you in the bathroom.” He stood up and walked slowly.
Confused was too weak of a word to describe what I was feeling. I looked around like a criminal to see if anyone was looking at us, but the place was packed with tourists nursing a hungover who were either focused on stuffing their faces or taking pictures of their pizza.
“Are you injured? Talk to me.”
Kaos took my hand and dragged me to a stall with him. I had to shrink my tentacles to fit in. He faced the side partition and slid his jeans to his mid-thigh.
“Don’t laugh.” He pulled up his hoodie, baring his perfect ass cheeks to me.
I couldn’t contain the gasp that tore out of me. “Oh kitten. Does it hurt?”
“A little. But it was worth it.”
I knelt on the sticky floor to see it up close. The red heart tattoo I kissed so many times now had my name in it. “Spiro” filled the blank space in beautiful swirly letters. Around it were sucker marks I’d left two nights before but freshly traced with a tattoo needle.
“Why?”
Kaos turned to me with eyes full of unshed tears. “Because I wanted to keep something of yours forever.” His bottom lip trembled. “Because I love you.”
My hearts staccatoed furiously. I cupped his cheeks and wiped the tears falling there with my thumbs. “Oh kitten, I love you too.”
A knock on the partition wall startled Kaos, and I steadied him.
“You could find a better place for that, guys. Just saying,” someone said from the stall next to ours.
We burst out laughing and ran out of the bathroom, returning to our seats.
I grazed my knuckles along his jaw. “You have a stubble.”
He grimaced. “I didn’t have the energy to shave for two days now.”
“I like it.” I kissed his cheek. “Are you done with your pizza? Can we go?” I asked.
“I couldn’t eat it, but my appetite is back when you’re here. It’s not as good as yours, though.”
I smiled. “As long as it doesn’t give you a bellyache.”
“Yeah. It’s bad enough that my ass hurts.” Someone gasped behind me, and Kaos glared at them. “From the tattoo I got on my butt cheek.” He rolled his eyes and picked up the fork.
I stifled a laugh. Seeing Kaos fighting for his place to be and express himself was pure joy.
Only now I realized, he wasn’t wearing his hat, and his tail was out.
I was so fucking proud of him. But saying that would feel patronizing.
So instead, I stole a fork from the booth behind me and helped him with the pizza.
Tentatively, I touched Kaos’s knee with my tentacle under the table.
“I didn’t realize you were hurting because of me. You moved on after your breakup easily, so I thought—Nah, I should have done something yesterday when you were sad.” I released a shuddered breath, analyzing the day before.
“I liked Mira, she was a good friend, and Derek was hot, but I didn’t know what love was until I felt it.
And that was with you. I’ve never experienced true heartbreak because I’ve never been in love.
This is different, and since I realized that yesterday, it’s been torture, Spiro. And I didn’t know what to do.”
“So you ran away.” I took his hand in mine.
“Yes. I ran away after my breakup and got three weeks with you. Clearly, that strategy was worth repeating.” He chuckled nervously.
“Oh Kitten. It was agony for me as well, if that makes it any better.”
He perked up. “Oh yeah? How?”
“I was psyching myself up to be apart from you and trying to remain calm. But when I saw you were gone this morning, I lost my absolute shit and panicked. I had to see you one last time before you left. So I guess I know how you feel. If this intense ache in my chest at the thought of not seeing you every day is anything to go by.”
“What do we do?” He asked, poking the remnants of the pizza with his fork. “I wanted to go around the States for my blog, but now I’m reconsidering everything.”
“Your dreams will always come first, and I will support you however I can. I’d love for you to come with me, but won’t stop you from pursuing your career no matter how much I’d miss you.” I sighed. “You wouldn’t tolerate my working hours, anyway.”
Kaos gasped indignantly. “I can change my plans. But I was waiting for you to suggest you’d want to take me with you. You asked for my opinions and consent for three weeks straight but couldn’t ask me if I’d choose to be with you.”
Was that how he saw it? “I couldn’t press you to rearrange your entire life for me.”
He crossed his arms and scrunched his nose in the most adorable way. “Why not? Cause fuck my life without you. I don’t want it.” Tears danced in Kaos’s eyes.
I took his hand. “Let’s talk in the car.”
He nodded and left a large tip on the table.
We sat in the rental car, and I drove us towards the house that had been hours for three weeks.
Kaos was chewing his lip. “What if… I could go to Greece, maybe other countries in Europe too? I could visit restaurants all over and post about them on my blog.”
I analysed what he’d said and mulled it over. “I want to be a chef at my parent’s restaurant during busy periods like summer vacation and winter holidays, but I won’t be able to cook diverse foods if I’m there all year.” I put a hand on Kaos’s knee.
“What are you saying?” He squeezed my fingers.
“Before I took a break for this Chicago vacation, I looked into being a seasonal cook, a traveling one. Many restaurants offer that option if you match their criteria.”
“And of course you do.” Kaos grinned.
“I could prepare food for different people, and try various cuisines while traveling. Would that work for you if we went together?”
“You’re serious. You’re rearranging your strict life plan. I thought you never wanted to do that.”
“Correct. Not for anyone else. But you made me realize this is what I want. All I need is you with me to be happy. And cook for a living. I don’t care where and how.”
“But what about your family?”
“I love them, but I’m not tethered to them. Whatever we decide, I will still visit them and keep in touch. I don’t see that as a problem.”
Kaos pulled my hand to his lips and kissed it. “We have a beginning of an idea then.”
“We can figure out the rest.”