Chapter 31
Chapter thirty-one
Stephanie
The day after Christmas, we skied. Correction.
Those who weren’t challenged with a lack of grace strapped poles—boards?
—to their boots. Me? Absolutely not. But I wasn’t averse to sitting in the lodge, La Croix in hand and not freezing my nose off, while watching Nash take a few runs down the slopes.
Nope. He cut a good figure on skis, clearly being a favoured one with athletic giftedness.
Warmth curled in my stomach when he grinned brightly as he chatted with my oldest niece, Veronica’s daughter Millie, before giving her a few pointers on how to go down.
She hung on his every word, looking every bit as smitten as I was.
I know the feeling, girly. But she was only thirteen, and hero worship could only go so far.
Nana hip-checked me as she came to stand next to me by the broad windows overlooking the ski hill. “You been avoiding me, Stephie? I’ve barely seen you.”
I ducked my head. “Not avoiding. This year’s just been… different.”
She glanced out to where Nash was giving young Ollie a hand off the magic carpet. Sure, Nash was a different part of this year but not the whole part. Nana was whip sharp and wasn’t deterred by my attempt to get her off the true scent.
“Your first Christmas back home after joining Nash’s company.
Your father’s an idiot. I shouldn’t be saying that, but I swear, my son doesn’t use the brains the Good Lord gave him when it comes to family and women.
Business, sure he’s a success, but when it comes to family…
” She sighed heavily and her straight shoulders hunched, the issue wearing on her like a weighted vest.
I wrapped an arm around her waist. The delicate lilac of her perfume grounded me in nostalgia and childhood. Some things never changed—Nana’s perfume was one of them. “We talked on Christmas Eve.”
“Oh?” She sounded far too benign.
“Did you hear us?” I asked suspiciously, shifting to look her full in the face.
Nana grimaced, suddenly looking far older despite the vibrant fuchsia of her ski jacket.
“I did. Not everything, but a few things.” She patted my back.
“I’m glad you found your voice, but I’m sorry, too.
As much as I love my son, I could shake him.
And I have, many times, for all the good it’s done.
” With another sigh, she shook her head. “I should have protected you better.”
“Nana, no.” I reached out and squeezed her hand, infusing all the love I could into the gesture.
“You and Papa took me in and gave me the best you could. I don’t resent that.
” The words clogged in my throat as memories of Papa flitted through my memory.
Grocery shopping and backyard barbeques.
The way he loved buying me an Easter dress every year.
Or the time he dropped handfuls of coins in the backyard and sent me and Hailey—she was five and I was ten—out with the metal detector.
“You gave me everything,” I whispered around the lump in my throat. “And I thank God for that every day.”
Nana crushed me into a hug. “You know better than to make me cry with a face of makeup on,” she scolded, but there was no heat to the words, and we both sniffed.
“I miss him,” I whispered.
“Me, too, baby.” We held each other in silence. Remembering a good man. Drawing strength from a shared loss and a promise of being reunited with him.
“Gabe mentioned doing things differently going forward. Instead of playing to Hiram’s whims,” I said into her shoulder after several minutes.
When she faced me again, Nana’s hazel eyes sparkled, all signs of tears vanquished.
“Excellent. I’ve been thinking about it myself.
Half of this family isn’t bad apples, but the rest..
.” She shuddered. Then she studied me and waggled her eyebrows.
“And you might have a husband of your own next Christmas to take into account.”
“Nana!” I squawked, and she only cackled like the impudent grandmother she was.
“He’s a keeper, Stephie-Lou. Men like him are rare.”
Didn’t I know it. But because I couldn’t give in to her too easily, I snarked back, “What, tall, dark, and wealthy?”
Nana swatted at my behind, but since this wasn’t my first rodeo, I dodged her, laughing.
“He’s easy on the eyes, girl, but he looks at you like you’re his world.
He sees you. Not just the version you show to the rest of us.
He brought your sparkle back.” She patted my cheek.
“He’s the staying kind, baby girl. Who isn’t intimidated by your mess, doesn't bat an eye over getting up with a colicky baby in the middle of the night, and brings you closer to Jesus, not further away.
He's a treasure worth hanging onto.” She gave me a meaningful glance before hurrying away, leaving me speechless.
What was I supposed to say to that? Sorry to dash all your hopes and dreams, Nana, but this was just fake? Until it wasn’t. Happiness sparked in my chest like the bubbly water I sipped, and I offered a silent prayer of thanks for Nash.
“I hope you’re happy with the choices you made,” Hiram said from behind me, instantly plunging me back to earth.
My pulse skyrocketed, and I gripped the edge of the side table beside me. A sturdy mahogany thing. Perfect for concealing nail marks from my death grip. “And why’s that?”
He studied me, his expression giving nothing away. His poker face was almost better than Gabe’s, and that was saying something. “Sometimes we live a lifetime to regret the mistakes we make. I’d hate for that to happen to you.”
“Is that a threat?”
“Friendly concern.”
Friendly, my Christmas cookies. I tilted my head, gripping the table tighter as I swayed. “Maybe. But the real testament of character is making a life despite those mistakes. Not wallowing or making those mistakes your whole personality.”
“Is that what you think I’ve done?”
I shrugged. “I can’t assume your motives. But I know you’re in love with the idea of love. Maybe it’s time to realize perfection isn’t the goal, but a beautiful partnership—ups and downs included—is.”
Hiram’s gaze moved beyond me to the motion on the slopes out the window. Shifting, I could see Zara in her lavender snowsuit set giggling with a couple of the kids.
When his gaze drifted back to me, determination smoldered in his hazel eyes. “We’ll see, won’t we. Goodbye, Stephanie.”
And in his wake, I was left wondering about the sincerity of his words and hated that I had to even consider the mental gymnastics of psychological warfare coming from my father.
Maybe he heard me, maybe he didn’t. I’d said my piece.
There was nothing else left to say. His choices were his own, and his life in the hands of One far more capable than my own.
“If everyone would assemble in the living room, I’ve got an announcement,” Hiram said when we returned from the ski run.
Knowing Hiram, this could be anything from a new business venture, a new real-estate acquisition, or a new wife.
Given he and Zara were just over a month into their marriage though, and she was here for Christmas, I didn’t see marriage being the new truth bomb.
Besides, I actually liked her. Unlike the last few romantic liaisons, she was trying to enmesh herself into our lives.
I wished her all the best since she was saddled with a man like Hiram.
But after our conversation at the ski lodge, I was a little on edge.
“Any ideas what this is about?” Nash whispered to me as we came downstairs together after changing out of our winter layers into more comfortable jeans and sweaters. He was wearing the one I’d knitted him, and it hugged his shoulders just right.
“Steph?”
Oops, I hadn’t meant to get distracted. “Not a clue.”
I gave Ava a few knitting pointers while we waited in the living room for the rest of the family.
“Stab it, hang it, cut off its head,” Ava announced, going through the motions with her needle with an intensity that had her glossy corn braids bouncing. The saying was a little dark coming from a seven-year-old, but hey, it worked.
“You got it.”
Hiram stood in front of the tree and tapped a glass of… was that champagne? Weird choice for the middle of the day. Besides, it was for toasting and celebration. Was I wrong about the marriage thing?
“I had some exciting news to share, but with the unexpected guests this year, I had to seriously consider whether it was the best time to share company details.” His hauntingly familiar hazel eyes lingered on me and Nash, hard and blank.
I wanted to squirm under the blatant disapproval, but Nash laced our fingers, resting our hands on his thigh for all to see. Completely at ease. I inhaled deeply, trying to borrow his nonchalant attitude.
Hiram continued. “In the end, it’s too important to let a few setbacks interrupt.”
Oh, I was a setback, was I? Not far off from the mistake he had hinted I was earlier.
“Nova is getting ready to launch our biggest venture yet,” Hiram boasted.
I wanted to roll my eyes but refrained. He sounded like a sleazy businessman giving his schtick with all the “never been done before in history” stuff spewing from his mouth.
Hiram was smart. No one could accuse him of being otherwise, and he could work a room to his advantage.
And looking around this crowd, I’d say he had half of them enthralled already.
Of course, half the family actually worked for him, so…
not exactly an unbiased opinion when he was signing their paychecks.
“… a new marketing software focusing on more accessibility for small businesses.”
I froze when Hiram’s words yanked me out of my zoning out.
A new feature? Instantly, I glanced at Nash before I could even figure out why, and our gazes locked.
Nova’s new software program sounded an awful lot like Genesis’s…
and why was Hiram announcing it with us here if it was? Was this a power move?
I’d seen couples give each other the look and communicate with their eyes.
I’d seen Gabe and Ivy do it. Nana and Papa over the breakfast table doing crosswords before Papa died.
The silent exchange Nash and I shared was filled with unspoken words, questions, and reassurances.
When he squeezed my hand, my heart squeezed, too, as the clawing panic ravaged my insides.
I wasn't alone in this, and it was nice being someone to somebody else—part of a team.
But what in the world was going on?