Chapter 16 #2
I panic, heart racing. Rapidly, I try to think of something to give her. Anything to distract her from how close she’s getting to me. Nothing seems worthy enough, but I try. And it comes out in a hurry.
“I used to sleep with a stuffed tiger,” I blurt out. “I named him Doom.”
With a loud guffaw, she trips over an upturned rock, and I catch her before she falls. “You did?”
Her laughter is a new song I’ve never heard before. One that immediately makes me nostalgic for a place I want to revisit whenever I’m lonely. I want to hear it again. And again.
Holding one of her elbows, I nod. “That was real.”
“Mine was a stuffed fox. Little plush tail, crooked ear. I told him everything…” She takes a solid step toward Omega house and away from me. Hurriedly, I catch up.
“What was his name?”
An answer parts her lips, but she holds it back. “Doesn’t matter.” She grimaces slightly, a brief shadow passing over her expression, as if the memory is tender—or perhaps painful—in a way she’s not ready to admit.
The ache that pulses in my chest from not knowing this crucial detail about her life is haunting. One day, I pray she’ll tell me. It wasn’t in her diaries…and I yearn to learn it. Does she know my family’s crest is a fox?
We were meant to be.
Perhaps soon, instead of reading stolen fragments, she’ll tell me out loud what that man did to her. And when she does, I’ll listen.
And help set her free.
I should shut the fuck up. Stay in the shadows. That’s what works. It’s safe.
But the second this goddess, who I should fear more than crave, looks at me—really looks at me—I unravel. All restraint gone, my plan shattered, and the part of me that knows better… Lost.
I’ve spent years as a ghost. Watching and waiting. Never speaking more than I had to. And now I can’t stop. Talking just to hear her respond. Just to keep her gaze locked on mine. To listen to what she has to say.
It’s dangerous and so fucking stupid. But her voice aimed right at me feels like a hit off something pure and poisonous. I’m addicted to her, a junkie for every word unfurling from her lips.
“Thank you for that,” I say.
“For what?”
“For your laugh.” I tap my temple with a finger. “I’m keeping that one locked up here for later. On repeat…”
A smile pulls at her lips as we fall into step again, silence drifting comfortably between us, lighter now. Her fingers stay tangled with mine, a tentative acceptance.
After a moment, she peers at me from beneath thick lashes, curiosity playing at her lips. Moonlight shines on her face like diamonds. “Do you ever take off the mask?”
I chuckle. “Only in very special circumstances.”
“Like…showering?”
“Now you’re imagining me in the shower?” My voice lifts with unexpected playfulness. “Careful, Monarch. You’ll give me ideas.”
She scoffs, nudging my shoulder. “Maybe I’m just trying to decide if you’re human under there. For all I know, you sleep in that thing.”
“Who says I sleep?” I retort smoothly. “Maybe I stand in dark corners brooding all night.”
Her laugh is soft, melodic, warming something inside me I didn’t realize was cold. “Yes. I believe you do. In my room. You have that vibe.”
“What vibe?” I prod, drawing closer so my arm brushes against hers. Every touch sends a spark of electricity down my spine.
“You know, dark and mysterious. Gothic romance hero meets…” She pauses, teasingly thoughtful, “psychopathic stalker?”
Genuine amusement fills my belly as I release another chuckle and bump her side gently. “You sound as if you’re starting to enjoy it.”
“Maybe a little.” She shrugs, shyly biting her lip. But then her expression turns serious as she adds quietly, “I must be as twisted as you.”
My thumb brushes over the back of her hand. “I highly doubt that, queen.”
With a wave of her palm, she showcases the serene waters now in front of us. “Oh? I just sucked your dick surrounded by corpses,” she whispers. “I think we passed the twisted test a while back.”
The bold humor from her makes me grin underneath my mask.
“You’ve got a point there.” Maybe it’s because I’m always cautious when I take action, but I’m more at ease around my goddess.
Gently, I allow my arm to drape across her shoulders, then pull her into me.
“But maybe that’s why I like you so much. ”
Bubbling of water fills the comfortable lull in our conversation as we near the sorority house, its familiar shape emerging from the fog. My pulse quickens subtly, already regretting our inevitable separation.
When we approach, she turns toward the back doors of her house. “Vanq?” Her voice softens, sincerity threading through. “Thank you.”
I stop, turning to face her beneath the pale-yellow glow of a porch light. “For?”
Quiet vulnerability flashes across her green eyes as they find mine. “For keeping your promise. For getting me home safe.”
With the tenderness of stroking a bird, I brush her hair back behind her ear, savoring the moment. “Of course.”
She shivers again in my sweatshirt and attempts to take it off, but I stop her. “It’s yours now.”
Lingering to prolong our last seconds together, my eyes dart to her plump lips. No matter what she said, this isn’t a date. It’s a battle plan.
“What if… What if I want you to come inside my room sometimes?”
I smirk. “Because you’re twisted?”
“That video… What you did?” She hesitates with an audible swallow. “I liked it. Not because it made sense, but because it let me release something. Like you were holding all the weight—and I didn’t have to. For once, I could, just be.” Her voice drops to a whisper. “What if I want that again?”
My cock throbs, and despite just getting sucked off, it feels as if I could go another round.
With a deep breath, I calm myself and tell her, “You don’t need to explain what you want with me.
But don’t underestimate what you’re asking for.
If there’s a next time…I won’t stop where I did on that video.
I’ll go deeper. And you won’t crawl out the same. ”
As if she’s turned reticent, she lowers her face, then looks at me through her lashes. “I understand. But I still want it…” To avoid any further comments, she bounces once, twice on her toes, and waves at me with her hand just up at chest height. “Okay, bye.”
The air stretches awkwardly between us as she scurries to the door. I shove my hands in my pockets and wait until she’s inside, but she pauses to check if I’m still there. Her shoulders relax as she gives me a final nod.
I take off in a sprint toward her balcony, my form shrouded in darkness. Scaling the latticework, I leap over the banister just as she enters, then I press my back against the wall outside as she flips on her light. Holding my breath, I move carefully so she doesn’t see. So I can watch.
She freezes as she spies the gift I left on her bed.
Moving around it carefully, she reaches out to see if it’s real.
Satisfied that it is, she pulls it into her chest and rocks, then lets loose a sob.
It was difficult to find a replica of her favorite childhood stuffed fox.
The one she wrote about destroying after Reggie raped her.
But I found one just like it. Only took a few years.
The note falls onto the bed, and she reads it through tears.
Innocence is not lost. Only forgotten. Now you remember.
With a sniff, she hurries toward the balcony, and I jump onto the far platform to hide behind a shrub.
“Vanq?” she whispers. “I know you’re there. I know you did this.” She waits while I slow my breathing. This is her moment. I don’t want to make it about me.
She turns back to her room, and I almost relax, but breathy words come through before she goes inside. “His name is Felix.”
It’s an offering. A gift. Something she had never uttered in those words she wrote…
Olivia Marie Cardell just gave a piece of herself to me willingly.
My heart pounds harder, warmth spreading through me despite the biting cold now that she’s wearing my hoodie. Is it better than a blowjob? Perhaps…
I linger in the shadows until she’s deeply asleep before slipping silently inside. Marking the quiet conclusion to our bizarre evening, I press a gentle kiss to her forehead.
Leaning close, my whisper promises what awaits her next: “Sleep now. Another trial and more answers will come soon, my beautiful Monarch.”