Chapter 32
thirty-two
“W-We are?” She lowers her chin and takes a step away from me.
“Yes. This is the way. We need to stop Seventh Society. I’m convinced that if we cut off the head of the snake, we’ll win.”
It feels so freeing to finally be able to share my plans with the love of my life. I know we can’t be appointed until the current president is in the ground and someone new approves the order. But I can marry this woman.
She appears shaken, frozen with searching eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
Her knuckles whiten as she hugs herself. “I think I need breakfast.”
“Sure, yeah. It’s almost ready. Oatmeal okay? I have coffee, too.”
With a pinched brow, she doesn’t answer. “I’m going to get dressed… It’s cold.”
“Stand here by the stove. The fire will keep you warm.”
She nods, but turns to the stairs, and I worry I’ve said too much too quickly. “I just need my clothes…”
Maybe she isn’t as ready as I thought. She will be. Probably needs time to wrap her head around it, and then she’ll be okay.
A rickety wooden table stands in the center of the room with benches lining either side.
I pour the steaming porridge into the tin bowls I brought over from our camping gear.
Dad’s beyond excited that I decided to fix up this place, though I know it’ll take years to reclaim from nature.
It’s been in the family for too long to let it rot.
When she returns, there’s a flush coloring her cheeks. I wave at the warm food, but her attitude is icy.
“Did you find the bathroom I made?” I ask carefully, noting that her hair has been combed through.
“Yeah. The basin with the water pitcher worked. And…toilet.”
I’d brought over a composting one until we get working plumbing.
She sits and takes her first bite while I monitor her face. She’s not looking at me. I can’t stand it.
“Are you going to tell me what you’re thinking, or do I need to choke it out of you?” I ask.
The spoon clanks as she sets it down, and then steadies a fierce gaze on me. There’s the fire…
“How long have you been planning this?”
“To…?”
“To kill President Harvey.”
“Years.”
Her shoulders stiffen. Then, like a viper, she stings. “And what were you waiting for?”
Sitting back, I realize where she’s going with this. But she needs to understand how much she means to me. “You. I was waiting for you to catch up.”
“Because I’m your in with the president.”
“Yes.”
She stands up, shoving the bench back with her thighs, and tosses her hair over her shoulder as if she’s ready to run.
“You used me. You only cared about the mission. Waited until I was ready by killing Blackwell first, then what? You forced my father to appoint me. So you wouldn’t have to kill him? So I wouldn’t have to kill you?”
“It didn’t become apparent how dire things were until you got the assignment to kill me. Now, if you don’t do that, Olivia, they will kill you. The only way I’m going to protect you is by ending the man who gave the order. And you’re going to help me.”
Her mouth closes, thoughts warring across her forehead, but she doesn’t have a response.
When I stand and edge closer to her, she takes a step away from me.
My hand reaches for hers as I tell her, “I know what you’re doing.
You’re trying to push me away because you’re scared.
You think this isn’t real or that I’m here because I want to save us from the Seven…
You’re right. I do… But you matter more to me than all of that. ”
“Tell me you needed me broken. And compliant. Easy to point like a weapon at your enemies… Just like them.”
Anger flares up my cheeks until they redden. “Not at all. I wanted to show you who you truly are. Tougher than them. And someone who wants to take them down with me.”
My voice is steady as I remind her of who she is.
“I saw the girl who positioned herself to win an election in high school despite the odds. The one who exposed Hunter for who he truly was. On camera. I watched you walk into the catacombs alone, with nothing but a knife and your fear—and still demand the truth from me. You held that blade to my throat when you thought I’d make you give up Elliot. And Reggie? You didn’t hesitate.”
Taking a step closer, I plead with her. “So, no, my love. I didn’t fall for the perfect, pliant version of you. I fell for the girl who’s been clawing her way out of the cage since she was fifteen. I didn’t create her—I witnessed her evolution.”
She’s quiet now, swallowing the words and says softly, “But I didn’t know…”
“It was in your writing. In between each line…”
“And yet you pretended like this was love.”
I jolt with fury. “You think this wasn’t real for me? You think I didn’t read and watch and wait for you and not fall for you?”
“It wasn’t love.” Her voice is low now, venomous. “It was strategy.”
“No,” I say, calm but certain. “It was war. And I picked the only queen with the fucking spine to rule beside me.”
She opens her mouth, but I cut her off.
“You can hate me right now. But I still know the truth. You feel safest when someone takes the reins. When your world is collapsing, you need to surrender. So here’s what we’re going to do…”
“I don’t trust you.”
“You will…” I’ve heard enough, and her reverting to that scared creature I knew has me standing up and snapping my fingers. “On your knees.”
Her eyes widen as she balks. “What?”
“You heard me. You worship me now. You don’t trust me? Fine. Don’t believe me yet? Okay. But you will obey until I prove to you how much you mean to me.”
She hesitates and glances at my sweatpants.
The thing is, when Olivia retreats, she needs someone to command.
It’s how she feels safe. When she’s small and scared, she wants someone to take over until she feels like she can be unbreakable again.
And I’ll show her just how much I own her until she submits.
“You don’t need to trust me yet. Just surrender. I’ll hold the weight until you’re strong enough to carry it again. So either you do as I say, or I make you.”
Her bottom lip juts out in a challenge, which makes me jump into action. I snatch her waist and then grip her hair with my other hand, helping her lower to the ground.
“Valen…” she says breathily, full of hesitation.
I grip her cheeks tightly in my hand. “What was that?”
She blinks once, heat and desire glossing over her eyes as she corrects herself. “Master.”
“Better. Suck me. And make it good. Please me and show me who owns you now.”
With hurried fingers, she lowers my waistband and grips my cock as it hardens in her warm palm. “Look into my eyes as you do this, my slut. You’re mine. And I’m about to take all your worries away. So take me deep. Gag on it…”
When I shove inside, she does, the convulsions as she chokes, almost making me lose it. I hold the nape of her neck so she’s forced to look up at me. “And stop thinking. I control those. I control everything right now. Isn’t that what you want?”
She murmurs something that sounds affirmative, and I relax enough for her to scream, “Yes!”
“Good. Then use your mouth for something useful instead of trying to tell me lies.”
I tug on her hair to bring her closer until her nose is buried against my abs, her throat clenching around the head of my cock. Every cough feels incredible. Every moan around my length sends more waves of pleasure rippling down my spine.
The gasping sounds she makes every time I draw back, then plunge in again, have me close to exploding. But she needs to come so she calms the fuck down about all of this.
I pull out and lift her onto the table. Splaying a hand on her stomach, I help her lie back, and she goes willingly.
With a tight grip under her knees, I tug her to the edge and shove inside.
I’m rewarded with a guttural moan of my name.
Holding her legs against my chest, I use them as leverage to plunge in deeper and deeper until she’s arching off the wood beneath her and wailing sighs of pleasure.
Before I erupt, I split her thighs open, then hook them around my hips. My hand grips her neck and lifts her off the table. “Tell me who you belong to.”
“You, master,” she says, barely able to speak. I apply more pressure to her throat until her eyes roll back into her head. Just as she looks as if she may faint, I release her, and she stiffens, then screams as her pussy clenches down on me, drawing my orgasm out and everything with it.
Leaning forward, I crawl onto the table while still pumping inside her gently. “Look at me, my love. My queen. My fucking everything.”
She does, her gaze unfocused but full of emotion.
“Who are you appointed to?”
“You…” Her voice is shaky as she catches her breath.
“I controlled your breathing and kept you safe. I’m not going to let one fucking thing happen to you. Because without you, there is no me. You got that?”
Surrounding my body with her arms, she clings to me and sobs softly into my chest. I gather her up and brush her hair over her shoulder, pressing gentle kisses on her forehead.
“Shh. I got you. I love you.”
“I know,” she moans into my neck, the heat of her breath making goosebumps erupt all over my skin. “I was scared.”
“You don’t have to be anymore.” I pull her back so we’re pressing our foreheads together. “But you must understand, my Monarch. You’re the scariest person in the room now.”
She snorts a laugh, and I capture the sound to relive later. “I’m serious,” I whisper. “I don’t think you understand how fragile my ego is with you. Needing your approval. Desperate for your love. I’m not obsessed, I’m…defined by you. I don’t want to just protect you. I exalt you.”
I bite my lip to refrain from giving everything away. If she only knew the intensity of my feelings, maybe she could believe the words I fumble through. They aren’t enough. Not for her. She deserves more. I wish I weren’t so bad at telling her that.
If I could tell her how violently my love for her rages inside of me, I’d break what we have.