Chapter 8 #2
“Yeah, well, Auntie Laney isn’t the one who has to argue with you about brushing your teeth at night, so her word isn’t gospel.”
“What does that mean?” Ellis asks around a mouthful of ice cream.
I giggle and then begin shaking the sprinkle container over my bowl, opting for far fewer sprinkles than Ellis, but still enough to add some color to the plain treat.
“That’s not a lot of sprinkles,” Ellis mumbles while assessing my bowl.
“I don’t want to overdo it,” I explain. “Then I won’t be able to fully appreciate the ice cream underneath. Sometimes, less is more.” I look up to find Rhonan staring at me. “What?”
“Nothing.” He takes the chocolate syrup and drizzles it over his bowl. “I agree. You don’t want to overpower the ice cream.”
“Wow. Did we just agree on something?”
He narrows his eyes at me. “I don’t think that’s the first time we have, Vienna.”
“It’s Ms. Lewis, Daddy,” Ellis interrupts.
“Sorry. Ms. Lewis,” he repeats my name per his daughter’s correction.
“It’s okay. But Ellis, you were right about the sprinkles.” I take a bite of the ice cream and moan dramatically. “Sprinkles make everything better.”
She nods, fixated on the ice cream in front of her. “Yup.”
Rhonan and I share a laugh and then in a matter of minutes, the ice cream is gone, and Ellis lets out a yawn.
“It’s time for bed, sweetie,” Rhonan says to her.
“But I’m not tired.” Standing there rubbing her eyes sort of contradicts her words, but I’m not getting involved with their father-daughter dynamic.
“Ms. Lewis is going home too, so you’re not going to miss anything.” His eyes lift to mine, seeking help.
“That’s right. I need to get home to Roscoe.”
“Can I play with him tomorrow?” she asks, pleading with the most beautiful blue eyes that match her father’s. Her hair is much darker than his, though, which makes me think she must have gotten that characteristic from her mother.
Speaking of which, where is Ellis’s mom?
“I’m sure Ms. Lewis has things to do,” Rhonan answers for me.
“I do, but if there’s time, I’ll ask your dad if it’s okay. How does that sound?”
Ellis nods enthusiastically. “Okay!”
“Now, go brush your teeth so you don’t get any cavities.” I urge her toward the hall.
“I eat all of the cavities,” she mumbles, letting out another yawn.
I turn to Rhonan. “Did she just say she eats cavities?”
“Yeah. I made the mistake of telling her that any type of sugar is called cavities, so now that’s what she calls candy, cake…pretty much anything sweet.”
“That’s really adorable.”
He shrugs. “Some parenting mistakes work out okay.”
“Not sure that’s classified as a mistake, Rhonan.”
“Well, it’s definitely not as big as other ones I’ve made.”
Silence rests between us. “I hope I’m not out of line for asking, but…where is Ellis’s mom?”
His smile falls. “I figured you would have already heard that story.”
“How so?”
He shrugs. “Small town.”
“Yes, but it’s not like I’ve been going around asking about you.”
He stares at me, debating his reply, and I’m not sure if his lack of words is annoyance or not. “Ellis’s mom isn’t with us anymore,” he starts. “She, uh…died giving birth to her.”
My hand flies to my chest. “Oh my God. I’m so—”
He holds a hand up, stopping me. “We’ve done okay.”
“I know, but—”
“Seriously, Vienna. Don’t.” I’m not sure if he meant to sound that harsh, but I close my lips like he asked.
An awkward silence rests between us again, but ironically, it’s filled with emotions—pain, grief, sadness, and anger—most of which are wafting off the man in front of me.
Not wanting to push him on a topic he clearly doesn’t want to speak about, I tuck my hair behind my ear.
“Well, I’d best be going. Thank you again for the shower and the ice cream.
” Reaching for my bag, I hoist it up over my shoulder just as Ellis reappears.
“Good night, Ellis. Thank you for sharing your ice cream with me.”
“Good night, Ms. Lewis.” She runs up to me, hugging my legs tightly until her little arms give out.
Glancing back at the man who is making me more confused by the minute, I wave. “Good night, Rhonan.”
“Good night, Ms. Lewis.”
As I walk back to my house and step inside, finding Roscoe still in his kennel where I left him, it dawns on me why that look in Rhonan’s eyes is so familiar.
It’s grief. Pain from loss.
Turns out we have more in common than I thought.
***
“I can’t even remember the last time I saw you laugh with him, Vienna.”
Lydia holds her wine glass in her hand while resting her arm against the side of my couch.
My eyes drift over her sunken face and the scarf wrapped around her head as dread fills my chest. But I can’t deny that I’m having trouble recalling an instance to placate her.
“The fact that you’re still trying to come up with an example is telling. ”
“We’ve just…both been busy. Work is stressful for him, and—”
She cuts me off. “Why is it always about him? When’s the last time you got to choose what you wanted to do, like your job? Why does your job have to be about what he wants?”
“We agreed it’s what’s best for us right now.”
Lydia shakes her head. “No, Vienna. It’s what he thought was best. God, I—” Her frustration is growing and I know I’m about to get hit with a hard dose of reality from my best friend.
But maybe that’s what I need. She leans forward in her seat.
“Look, you know I love you. You’re my ride or die, but I’ve been holding my tongue for far too long because I didn’t want to be that friend, the one who criticizes your decisions and tells you how to live your life.
But guess what? I won’t be around to look out for you… ”
Emotion clogs my throat. “Lydia…”
She drains the rest of the wine and sets the empty glass on the coffee table before leaning forward and reaching for my hand, pulling me closer to her. “I’m done acting like your marriage is okay. Cole is a shitty husband.”
“Wow. Okay, tell me how you really feel.”
“I am. And since you married him, you’ve become a shell of the woman I’ve called my best friend for fifteen years.
” Her words sting as my eyes fill with tears, but I don’t say anything.
“That man has slowly shown you his true colors, and I’m not sure if you’re just oblivious to them, or you’re choosing to keep on your rose-colored glasses. ”
“Lydia…”
“I know you made vows. I know you’ve been with him for almost ten years, but a part of you has slowly slipped away since you two got married, and given that you haven’t been able to…”
“Marriage isn’t easy.”
She releases my hand and sits upright again.
“You’re right. It’s not, and I don’t have the firsthand experience to relate.
But I also know that it shouldn’t be like what you’re living in right now.
” She lowers her voice. “You used to think that he was just overprotective, but now I see it more as jealousy and a desire to control you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Jealousy feels a lot like love until you experience trust, Vienna.”
I want to argue with her, but something stops me. Maybe it’s the fact that her words are so powerful, they’ve rendered me speechless. Or maybe it’s the way she looks as if she’s gearing up to tell me more.
“Look, I didn’t want to do this tonight, but there’s something I need to tell you.”
“Is it about your scan?”
She inhales deeply. “Yes.”
“No…” My eyebrows draw closer and my eyes start to sting. “Lydia?”
“I’m not getting better, Vienna.” She inhales deeply and then says, “And I’m not sure how much time I have left.”