Chapter 4
“W ow, luxury at its finest.” I laugh as I lift up one of the sun-faded drapes.
“What were you expectin’?” Wade chuckles at me, taking off his hat and hanging it on the back of the door.
The rust around the faucet in the bathroom makes me wish I hadn’t bothered checking it.
“I should just call Garrett, this is a bad idea.” Wade’s searching the space around him, scratching the back of his head awkwardly when I head back through to the bedroom.
“No, this is great . We’ll get some sleep, wake up in the morning, avoid breakfast and go home. Back to reality, right?” I hear how sad my voice sounds and hope he doesn’t pick up on it.
Wade’s made no secret of the fact that he doesn’t want me marrying Caleb.
He’s always been protective of me, but it all got a lot more intense after his sister died.
I figure I’ve replaced her somehow, and as much as I wish what happened to her hadn’t, I can’t help appreciating how it feels to have him take care of me.
I never feel safer than I do when I’m with Wade.
I fear nothing when we’re together because I know there is nothing Wade would let harm me.
I wonder if I’ll ever feel that way about Caleb.
Wade sits on the edge of the bed and pulls off his boots, then reaching over his back he grips his shirt and drags it off his shoulders.
“Whatcha doin’?” I blush when I see the body he’s been hiding.
It’s been a long time since we swam in the lake together and Wade Carson is no longer a boy. His shoulders are hench, his chest is solid, and he’s got what looks like a burn or a scar on one side of it. All of a sudden my mouth is dry and my fingers tingle to touch the hard ridges of his abdomen.
“I’m getting ready for bed. Don’t ya worry, I’ll take the floor.” He steps toward me, reaching his huge arm over my head to grab the spare pillow and a scratchy blanket from the top of the wardrobe.
“Wait.” I instinctively grab his bicep and when I do, I feel it tense.
“You don’t need to do that. We’ve slept in a bed together before. I’ve lost count of how many parties we’ve passed out at together,” I remind him, doing my best to focus on his eyes and not his damn perfect body.
“You ain’t ever had a fiancé at them parties, Leia,” he points out with a little spite in his tone as he pulls away and starts making himself a bed on the floor.
“Wade, you're making this weird, just get into bed.” I slip out of my jeans, lifting the covers and checking out the mattress before I climb in.
He seems deep in thought as he watches me and when he eventually starts unbuckling his belt to pull down his own jeans, there’s a strange throb between my legs that really does not belong there.
The outline of his cock through his tight boxers is clearly visible and it must be semi-hard, because it’s practically coming out of the bottom.
I quickly lift my eyes back up and when I realize he’s caught me staring, all I can offer him is an awkward smile.
He rounds the bed and gets in beside me, resting his back against the headboard and remaining rigid.
“You know, this is gonna be the last time we share a bed together,” I tell him, picking at my nails to avoid side-glancing at those wide, solid pecs that are peeking out above the covers.
“Yeah, can’t see Caleb Mason invitin’ me round for a sleepover anytime soon.” Wade fakes me a smile when I look at him, but I notice the way his fists tighten.
“I know you hate him, and that you think I’m making a mistake—”
“D’ya love him?” he interrupts, tensing his jaw and suddenly focusing his eyes on me. How the hell have I never noticed that amber circle around his brown irises before?
“I don’t know what love is.” I give him the most honest answer I’ve got. “My mom doesn’t love my dad and he sure as hell doesn’t love her. They practically live separate lives behind closed doors,” I explain as if that makes what I’m doing okay.
“That don’t mean you have to live that way too.” Wade shifts his body so it’s facing mine and when he grabs my hand, I feel a spark of something brand new.
“You should be marryin’ someone ya love,” he tells me in a voice that’s soft, raspy, and a little desperate.
“And what do you know about love, Wade Carson? How many buckle bunnies have you said the magic words to?” I laugh back at him, trying to stop this conversation from turning serious.
“I ain’t ever said it to anyone.” The look on his face is deadly serious and suddenly everything feels real intense.
“I know a little about it though. I know it hurts. I know it can take over every thought and feelin’ ya got, and I know that no matter how hard ya try, you can’t switch that shit off.” His eyes drill into mine like he’s scolding me.
“Jesus Christ, when did you get deep?” I quickly pull us out of the hole we’re sinking into, grabbing at his nipple and twisting it the way I used to when we were younger.
His eyebrows rise in shock, but he soon starts smiling as he grabs at my wrists, pins them behind my head, and leans his body over mine.
I screw up my face, bracing myself for him to lick it the way he used to when we were kids, but instead, I feel him pressing solid and heavy against my thigh.
When I open my eyes and glance up at him, that serious look is back on his face again.
He knows I can feel it, he’s clearly not ashamed and he sure isn’t moving.
Instead, he stares back at me longingly, making the hollowness inside me turn into an ache that feels a lot like desire.
“You wanna hear a confession?” I ask, knowing that sober me would never have the confidence to admit it. Wade says nothing, just nods his head and tenses his forehead like he’s curious.
I look down between us and fidget my hips a little, making his stiff cock stroke between my legs.
“Shit, Leia.” Wade closes his eyes and when one of his hands releases my wrist so it can grip around my hip, I feel all the tension in his fingers.
I know it's wrong, we’re friends and I would never wanna ruin that.
But I’ve seen the way girls are with him.
He sends ‘em all kinds of crazy. I’ve always wondered what the big deal was and now I’m feeling that big deal strain against me, and I have to try real hard to keep the gasp from escaping my lips.
“Ya drunk.” Wade drops his head and laughs at me.
“Yeah, I’m drunk…” I cup my free hand around his jaw and lift it back up so he’s looking right at me.
Why all of a sudden do I wanna kiss him so bad?
Sure, I’ve always known Wade was attractive, but he’s always just been Wade, my reliable best friend.
Now, he’s Wade, my reliable best friend, whose huge cock is resting between my legs and making me want to kiss him.
“…and I’m gonna be real honest and tell you that the thought of Caleb Mason being the only man I ever fuck scares the shit outta me,” I whisper shamefully, and as I watch his eyes stretch with shock, I immediately wish I could take my words back.
“You telling me, there was no one before him?” Wade’s got a real confused look on his face now.
“I’m telling you that there hasn’t even been a ‘him’ yet,” I confess, surprised when he doesn’t laugh at me. “Mom thought it would be good for us to wait until the wedding night, and I liked how that sounded a whole lot, so I went with it,” I explain.
“Holy shit, Leia. Why are ya telling me this?” Wade removes the hand he’s got pressed into my hip so he can scrub his face.
“I don’t know, maybe because I’m drunk, or because I feel desperate.
I’ve been screaming inside my head ever since I let him put that stupid ring on my finger.
After what happened with Tyler at the party three years ago, I haven’t trusted anyone enough to get close, and now I’m at a point where I’m getting married and I just… I don’t want it to only ever be him.”
“Then don’t fuckin’ marry him!” Wade hisses the words out through his teeth, and I wish it was that simple. I can’t even get into it with him. He wouldn’t understand, and worse of all I know if he knew the truth, he wouldn’t let me go through with it.
“You ever thought about it?” I divert him from the way the conversation’s heading by slowly sliding the hand I had on his jaw down his neck and over the scar on his chest.
“Leia, that’s a bad idea. A real bad idea. I gotta tell ya somethin’ and I didn’t want it to… I never expected to be in this…”
“Sssshhhh. Can’t you just do what you always do and give me what I want?” I look up at him and bat my lashes, letting my fingers slip under the waistband of his boxers. When he closes his eyes and growls, I know there’s no going back.