Chapter 6
I wake up with my head thumping and my pussy throbbing, there's a heavy weight crushing my body and when I realize it’s Wade’s huge arm that’s draped over me, visions start to flash through my mind. Visions, that I realize are memories when I look under the covers and see I’m only wearing my bra.
“Shit.” I rub my head to try and make the thumping stop so I can think straight.
This can’t have happened. I won’t have let it happen.
Me and Wade, we’re… we’re friends, and I’m getting married in five weeks!
Wade’s still sleeping, which is good because it gives me time to think over what the hell I’m gonna do about this.
When I slowly edge out of bed and see the blood streaks on the sheet, it suddenly dawns on me that I just lost my virginity to Wade Carson.
“Oh, God!” I look up at the ceiling and pray for God’s mercy.
This is bad . Things were complicated enough between us, with me marrying Caleb and their families being enemies. Wade’s a good, stable friend that I’ve always valued and now, this is gonna shit all over it.
Wade turns in his sleep, finding a more comfy position on the pillow and when the covers slide off his body, I’m reminded why all my morals went out of the window.
His body is insane, even if it is a little roughed up and scarred. There isn’t a single part of him that isn’t solid, and when I lift the covers slightly to check if my memory is serving me correctly, I almost jump back in shock and wonder how the hell I’m standing.
“Mornin’.” Wade stretches out his arms, somehow making his body look even more incredible, and the cocky smirk on his face says just about everything I need to know. He remembers, and what’s shocking is that he doesn’t seem bothered by it.
“I can’t believe we…”
“Come here.” He reaches out to grab my hand, but I take a step back instead, and suddenly that smile on his face drops into confusion.
“I gotta go.” I manage to locate my jeans and quickly pull them on, then throwing on my top, I gather up my shoes and my purse and quickly head for the door.
“Leia, wait up.” Wade jumps out of bed and starts coming for me. Seeing him standing, completely naked in front of me, makes all this seem even more real.
“Don’t,” I hold out my hand to stop him coming any closer, while my other hand fumbles behind me to try and locate the door handle.
“Leia, don’t you dare run. Look at me.”
I can’t decide if he’s hurt or angry, which is weird because I know Wade Carson, inside out and upside down.
“I can’t do this.” The panic of what this could cause becomes all too consuming. Nerves brew in the pit of my stomach which overpower the dull ache I’ve had there since I woke up, and when I finally locate that door handle, I push it open and dash the fuck out of there.
“Leia!” I hear Wade calling me, but I don’t look back, I cross the street and fumble through my purse for my car keys.
Once I get behind the wheel, I start my engine and bravely look up through the windshield.
Wade is still struggling to dodge traffic, with just a flimsy bed sheet wrapped around his waist. Horns are beeping, people are yelling, and I see the hurt in his eyes as my tires screech away from him.
* * *
“Where have you been?” Mom throws me a look of daggers when I step through the door.
“I…I had to…” I have no excuse prepared. When Caleb and my father step out of Dad’s office, Mom gives me warning eyes that tell me I better come up with something fast.
“I ended up staying at Maisie’s last night. We got distracted with plans for my bridal shower.” I smile at him awkwardly when a memory of Wade whispering in my ear plays in my head “You're mine!”
“Never mind. You're here now, let’s go over this seating plan.” Mom grabs both our hands and drags us into the dining room together.
I watch Caleb take in everything Mom says, nodding politely despite not taking in a single word of it myself. I’m too busy letting thoughts of Wade, and what we did last night, distract me.
My cell is vibrating in my pocket, nonstop, and have to smile through it all and pretend that I’m not suffocating.
I shouldn’t have left Wade the way I did, and I’m gonna have to have this out with him soon, because this needs to stay between us.
As much as I hate to admit it, maybe Mom was right, maybe I can’t be Wade’s friend anymore.
“It all looks perfect, Veronica. Thank you for your efforts.” Caleb wraps his hand around my waist, and it feels like it doesn’t belong there. Thinking about it now, I can’t remember a time when it ever did.
“You're welcome, all me and George want is for the pair of you to be happy.” Mom points her stare at me, in particular, as she fakes her smile and suddenly I feel like the walls are closing in on me.
“I got to go shower.” I drag myself out of Caleb’s arms and head back out to the hall, hearing Mom’s heels clip sharply after me.
“ Leia! ” she whisper-yells my name as she follows me all the way up the stairs and into my room. When she closes the door I’m shocked when I turn around and her palm strikes my cheek.
“What are you playing at? You know how important this marriage is to our family.”
I rub my cheek and stare back at her in horror, the woman in front of me isn’t the one I know. She’s not calm, collected, and well put-together like she presents herself to be. She’s a monster. “You were with that rodeo-riding Carson boy, I know you were.”
“So what if I was, and, no, I don’t know how important this wedding is because you’ve never properly explained it to me.
I have no idea what fire I’m putting out by going through with this shambles of a marriage.
What I do know is that you're asking me to give up my whole life for it. This shit is medieval, people don’t arrange marriages anymore. ”
“They don’t, huh? How the fuck do you think I ended up with your father?
You think I didn’t have a Wade of my own?
Jesus Christ, Leia. You were raised around privilege, there’s a price to pay for that, and I will not let your stupidity crush everything this family has worked for.
Your father has the potential to run for governor.
He’s worked his whole life for that. Are you gonna take that away from him? ”
“I don’t see how me marrying a Mason is gonna help him become Governor.” I talk back and Mom grabs my arms, pressing her fingers into my flesh so tight that it hurts.
“I don’t know why either, but we’re wives and we don’t ask. We just follow instructions.”
“Sounds like fucking Hell,” I scorn at her, risking getting another slap.
When Dad came to me last year and asked me to marry Caleb, I knew I had little choice.
I’m not stupid, I know that somewhere out there is a higher power that controls my father.
The decisions he sometimes makes don’t reflect his morals.
If I didn’t believe that the shit he’s gotten himself into wasn’t dangerous, I wouldn’t be even considering marrying the man downstairs.
Before what just happened with Wade, I seemed happy to accept that it was my part to play, but suddenly that role feels like a life sentence.
I love my dad, he’s been way more of a parent to me than my mother has, and even though I know he’s hiding something from me, I can’t let anything bad happen to him.
“It is Hell, Leia. But it’s life, and it’s the one you were born into. No more Wade Carson or he won’t just be the ruin of you, he’ll be the ruin of us.”
Mom turns on her heels and storms out the room as I take my phone out of my pocket and stare at the ten missed calls I’ve had from Wade since I ran out on him.
How is it that I see him so differently now?
How could I have not seen it before? Of course, I’ve always known he was handsome, I’ve got eyes.
But he was my friend. Almost like a brother to me, and now I feel terrible for the fact I really am gonna have to avoid him.
It makes me curious to all the questions I never asked about this marriage before because now I know what the real sacrifice is… I at least deserve to know the cause.