Chapter 16
“Y ou ready for this?” I ask Garrett when he arrives at the boundary of the line camp.
“Ain’t no point holdin’ out any longer.” He shrugs his shoulders as we ride the rest of the way together in silence.
I like that I have that with my brothers, there's never a need for polite conversation with them. We find the silence comfortable. It enables me to enjoy riding Hooter. I’ve had him since I was twelve years old.
When I saw him at an auction, I begged Dad to buy him for me.
Back then I was a kid who missed his mom, I was blaming myself a lot, wondering why I wasn’t enough for her to stay around.
Everyone seemed to have moved on and gotten used to the idea that she wasn’t coming back.
Me, I was holding on to a dream, and every day that dream failed to come true, it sucked a little more of my confidence.
I liked the way the horse, I watched being led around the auction ring, held himself.
He was wild, confident, and borderline arrogant.
When he refused to be led like the other horses were, and reared at the person leading him, I admired his strength.
I begged Dad to bid, promised that I’d work in the corral night and day to break him in.
For the first time since Mom left, I felt passionate about something.
I swear Dad saw that too, and that’s the reason we brought this crazy stallion home with us that day.
I kept my promise, gaining a lot of bumps and bruises before I eventually learned that Hooter was never gonna be broken, he just had to be understood.
I earned his trust through persistence, and it helped me get my confidence back.
It was because of Hooter that I started competing in the rodeo.
Garrett was already competing locally, and before Hooter, I was too scared of making a fool of myself.
My boy here taught me how to take a fall, I learned to jump right back on and not let the fucker get the better of me.
A little of his attitude must have rubbed off on me too, ‘cause as Cole likes to remind me, you gotta be some kinda crazy to get on the back of a Bronc.
And I learned that you need just the right level of arrogance to make sure you always win.
“Ya know he ain’t gonna take this well,” I tell Garrett when we eventually get to the line camp cabin.
Cole likes to spend his time out here, it’s quiet, and since the ranch is so spread out, it never hurts to have an extra set of eyes on lookout. Especially this time of year when all the hungry bears are fresh out of hibernation and roaming around.
We slide off our horses, tying them up before we join him on the porch of the cabin. He’s sitting on the step, smoking, with a rifle set beside him. The herd is calm, happily grazing, and although it couldn’t be any more peaceful out here, I can see there ain’t much calm about our brother.
“She got to ya, didn’t she?” Cole stares at Garrett coldly, shaking his head and laughing at him mockingly. Garrett remains cool as he takes a seat beside him, picking up the rifle and passing it to me.
“Cole, we all went through a real rough time after Mom left. We deserve to know why she bailed on us.”
“I don’t care, we’re all better for it.” Cole stares out at the open plains in front of him.
“I don’t disagree with that, but I gotta admit, I’m scared right now, Cole.”
Cole spins his head and stares at our brother like he just lost his mind.
“You’re fuckin’ scared?” he checks he heard him right.
“I got three kids on the way and we ain’t had the best example on parenting’. If I can learn somethin’ from her mistakes, I’ll take it.”
“Now you're just talkin’ crazy. Them kids ain’t even here yet and I know you’d die before you abandoned ‘em. I don’t wanna hear ya talkin’ that shit again.
We’re Carsons, nothin’ fuckin’ scares us!
” Cole pulls his focus off Garrett and back to his blank spot, while I rest my ass beside him and the three of us sit in silence.
“I don’t even wanna look at her,” Cole eventually admits, scrubbing his hands over his face and crushing his smoke out under his boot.
“I get that, and neither do I. But the more I think about it, the more I think we’re entitled to know why she left us and why she never came back.
We don’t wanna do this without ya. Since Aub…
since ya came back home…” Garrett side-glances at me as he recovers himself, “…we have a system and it works. So long as we stick together, there ain’t nothin’ that can come between us. ”
“And when do I get to kill Ronnie Mason?” Cole narrows his eyes at Garrett. “I’ve waited long enough. I’m fed up with seein’ his face around town.” He cracks his knuckles and snarls.
“Ya know we gotta bide our time with that one, we already have half the town thinkin’ I killed Cora Wildman. Mason is gonna pay, we just gotta lay low for a while,” Garrett assures him
“And what about you?” Cole looks to me like I should be making a stand with him.
“You gonna let Mason control your girl the way he did mine? You gonna let that twisted old son of a bitch play God and fuckin’ ruin her too?
” He attempts to rile me. And as much as I’d like to join his cause and rip the cold heart out of the old fucker’s chest…
I know what Garrett’s saying ain’t fair, but it’s logic.
“No, Cole, I ain’t gonna do that. I’m gonna figure out what he’s got on Walker and I’m gonna do my best to solve it but rest assured, I won’t have her marry into that family,” I stand up and warn them both.
“Just so long as you remember that when that old bastard’s time comes, he’s mine.” Cole gets up and snatches the gun from my hand, then heads toward his horse.
“Wade spoke to Mom, she’s coming for dinner next week. We figured we’d give you some time to get your head around it,” Garrett calls after him before he can ride off.
“I’ll be there,” Cole calls back over his shoulder.
“Well, that went well.” Garrett sighs when he’s gone.
Dalton and Finn will be here to take over watch soon, so I reach back into the cool box that Cole left behind and pull out two beers, handing one to Garrett before popping the cap on mine.
“Nice angle, with the bein’ scared shit. I think that’s what sold it,” I point out, knocking back my bottle and letting the spring sun warm my face. “You didn’t mean it, did ya?” I check.
“Ya kidding, Wade? I ain’t ever been more scared in my life.
There are gonna be three of ‘em. Three! And Maisie’s gonna do great, but when it comes to me…
Hell, we gotta hope that love and prayers are gonna be enough to keep ‘em alive, ‘cause I don’t have a clue how to be a father.” He shakes his head and stares at his bottle.
“That ain’t true. You’ve been more of a father to me and Cole than our old man ever was. I can’t remember a thing I’ve learned that you ain’t taught me.”
“Ain’t nothin’ that Mitch didn’t teach me.” Garrett laughs it off.
“Yeah, he taught you , and there was a reason Mitch left it to you to show us the way. There’s a lot in this world that a man can doubt, but you being the best dad those kids could wish for, ain’t one of ‘em,” I remind him.
My brother pulls an unconvinced look at me, but I can see my words have had some effect.
That heaviness he had in his eyes ain’t there anymore.
* * *
When we get back home, Maisie and Leia are on the couch laughing about something, and when Leia looks over her shoulder and sees me, she smiles shyly.
I got the urge to go straight to her, to grab her up in my arms, and drag her up to my room so I can show her how much I’ve missed her.
But I manage to hold off when I remind myself that this is new to her.
“You speak to Cole?” Maisie struggles up on her feet, eventually managing to get to Garrett so she can kiss him, while Leia hovers in the living area like she ain’t sure where to put herself.
“Yeah, he’s not happy about it, but he’ll be here.” Garrett hangs up his hat and kisses his wife properly, making everything feel even more awkward between Leia and me.
“We were just talkin’ about venues for the bachelorette party.” I can tell by Maisie’s tone that something’s coming, but that’s not what my focus is on.
“What party?” I ask, wondering why Leia needs one when she ain’t getting fuckin’ married.
“We have to make everything seem normal for now.” Leia moves toward me and when she takes my hand in hers and looks up at me, her eyes plead with me to not argue. I look down at our hands, and how they look, locked together, and wish the whole world could see it.
“I’m gonna do some digging next time I’m at the Masons,” Leia says bravely, and it immediately snaps me outta my little trance.
“No. That isn’t safe.” Maisie takes the words right out of my mouth.
“It’s plenty safe for me. I’ll be smart about it,” she assures us all, but the look Garrett gives me tells me he ain’t convinced.
“We got ya on this, I get ya wanna protect your father, and we can help with that if he needs it,” Garrett tells her, earning himself another kiss from his wife.
“But you won’t be puttin’ yourself in any danger.
Especially after what happened with Aubrey.
We’ll figure out what this thing is, and we’ll solve it,” I tell her, wrapping my arm round her waist and tugging her close, and when she looks across at Maisie and smiles, the happiness on her face puts a warm tingle in my chest.
“And how do you suppose you're gonna find this information out?” Leia wraps her arms around my neck and stares up at me cleverly.
“Where all cowboys go to get information,” Garrett answers her question for me, nodding his head at the calendar on the wall where Columbus Auction is marked in bold red letters a week from today.