Chapter 19
Caleb has joined us for breakfast this morning, and all I can think about while we fake smiles over fresh fruit and pastries is how good it felt to have Wade’s tongue between my legs.
“Come on, I have something special to show you.” Caleb wipes his mouth with his napkin, and Mother watches him dreamily as he stands from the table and holds out his hand for mine.
What I want to do is swipe it away and tell him there’s nothing in this world that he could offer me that I want, but knowing that acting normal is important to the cause, I take his hand and smile at my father as I let him lead me out the dining room to his Porsche.
Caleb opens the passenger door for me like a gentleman, and I sink into the seat and wait for him to get behind the wheel.
“Where are you taking me?” I try my best to sound enthusiastic as he pulls off the drive and heads west.
“I thought I’d show you what the benefits of being my wife will be,” he tells me with a cocky-assed grin on his face as he takes the winding road up toward Castle Fort Mountain.
He eventually pulls up outside a huge house, and I can’t help being impressed by its timber frame and how the glass front allows the view to be appreciated.
“You like it?” Caleb asks, stepping up toward the front door.
“It’s beautiful,” I admit.
“Good, it’s a wedding gift from my father.
” He looks up at it proudly, taking my hand and leading me inside like we’re a real-life happy couple with our whole future ahead of us.
The place is newly built and still smells of sawdust and paint inside.
The walls are all painted white and look just as clinical as Caleb’s surgery.
When he leads me up the stairs into the master bedroom, I glance warily at the huge bed that's against the back wall and looks out on the mountains, before he leads me out to the balcony.
“This is the best part.” He shows me the view, and he’s not wrong, it’s breathtaking, but in the distance, I can see Copper Ridge and suddenly the beautiful canvas in front of me turns into a harrowing reminder of what I have to lose.
“So, what do you think?” Caleb almost sounds hopeful.
“I love it.” I do my best to sound convincing as I step back inside, and when my fingers stroke across the custom-made wardrobes, I feel him step up behind me.
“Leia, I don’t know what’s happened lately that has you questioning everything about us, but I was hoping that bringing you here would make you see…”
“See what?” I turn around and question him.
“See that we can be happy here,” he tells me, and despite the calm in his voice, I can see that he’s getting progressively frustrated.
“How? You don’t love me, and I sure as hell don’t love you.” I speak my mind, despite the fact I’m not supposed to, but then I never was one capable of keeping my mouth shut.
“Yeah, but you're about to learn real fast that life isn’t a fairytale. The world’s cruel, we don’t get to be with the people we love.
You can blame me for that, or you can do your best to make this tolerable.
” The way he tells me that has me wondering if Caleb’s had to sacrifice someone himself for this.
I’ve never really stopped to think about how Caleb felt about being thrown into a loveless marriage.
Up until the night Wade took my virginity and stole my heart along with it, we both played our parts well.
Not just to the outside world, but to each other too.
I can’t blame Caleb for finding my change in behavior strange.
“Do you really want this?” I ask him, staring into his eyes and begging him for a truthful answer.
“I believe, that given time, I could grow an affection for you.” His thumb is soft as it caresses my cheek, but then his tone suddenly changes.
“Not while you're acting like this though. You're being stubborn and obstinate, and it’s not a good look on you.” He clasps my chin tightly, and I shove him away.
“This is who I am. I can’t change it, and you know what? I wouldn't, even if I could.” I shake my head and laugh at him defiantly.
“Leia, you have to change, because me and you, we have a purpose.” His hands take mine almost tenderly. “This marriage has to happen,” he tells me seriously.
“Why? All I want is answers.” Tears of pure frustration begin to fill my eyes and wish I could do something to hold them off. I don’t want to show my weakness. He looks away from me and sighs, and I wonder if he’s going to explain.
“You love your father, right?” He looks back at me.
“More than anything.” It’s an answer I don’t even have to think about.
“And do you think that your father has got to where he is without help?” Caleb questions.
“He’s got to where he is because people like him, they believe in h—”
“Bless your heart.” Caleb steps closer to me and strokes his hand through my hair.
“People who ask for favors have to be prepared to pay those favors back at some point. This…” Caleb flicks his finger between us, “may not be ideal to us, but to someone else it’s vital.
I’m going into this with every intention of trying to make the best of it, I suggest you do the same.
” Caleb takes my hand and leads me towards the bed.
“No one needs to know that this happened before the wedding, we’re only four weeks away, now.” He goes to slide the jacket off my shoulders but I shove him away.
“C’mon, Leia, you're just stalling the inevitable. I will stand for the loveless part, but I won’t tolerate a sexless marriage.
” His soft tone turns firm as he grabs at my waist and tugs me closer, forcing his lips onto mine.
I act on impulse and slap his face, and he pulls away with that venom in his eyes as his hand wraps around my throat and he forces me onto the mattress.
“You can’t reject me forever,” he spits at me, pinning me down so hard that I start to choke.
I try my best not to panic as I draw breath through my nostrils.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into your head just lately, but it’s time to start treating me with some respect.
If you ever lay a hand on me again, the fact you got one of these…
” His hand roughly cups me between my legs and makes me squirm.
“...won’t stop me from striking back.” He forces me a little harder into the mattress before he releases me.
Standing and running his hand through his hair, he straightens himself up and calms himself back down.
I stare him right in the eyes as I get back onto my feet, needing him to know that he doesn’t scare me.
I want to come off as strong, but on the inside, I don’t feel strong at all.
I think about what almost happened to me when Tyler Phillips spiked my drink all those years ago.
I think about what happened to the girl in our games room, that night, instead of me, and I think about what Seth might have done to Maisie if I hadn't whacked him over the back of his head with that car jack. Whatever favor my father owes, surely can’t be worth this.
“I’ll wait for you in the car,” Caleb tells me coldly, heading down the stairs, leaving me holding in my tears and praying that Wade can find a way to get me out of this.