5. Chapter 5
Chapter 5
Julie
I remain in the driver's seat, not wanting to get out. Vatok isn't moving either. It feels like if I say something or move, this will just end like a balloon that's popped.
Maybe both of us want to spend more time with each other, yet...
He's pretty good at pretending to be my mate. But this feels different, and I can't shake the sense that something significant is brewing between us. My heart thuds against my ribs as I glance sideways at him. The evening has unveiled something I didn’t expect, and it’s both exhilarating and terrifying. He is a big guy, and he has been trying to keep those arms close to him so we aren't touching each other. He looks... to be trying hard with how strong and big he is. It's considerate of him but he doesn't look too comfortable.
“Uh, well... This is it,” I say, gesturing toward the door of my apartment even though I've said that already. “Not much to look at, but at least it’s got a killer view of the city skyline.”
As our gazes lock, I find that Vatok’s bronze eyes blend with the dim glow of the dashboard lights. He seems to be contemplating something more profound than my casual comment. I force myself to break the tension. “You, uh, wanna come in for a second? Just, you know... for a small break before you head home?” My voice barely stifles the nervous thrill coursing through me.
“A break, you say? I’m curious, what do you have in mind?”
The corners of my mouth lift at the playful challenge in his tone, and even more heat creeps to my cheeks. “Well, just have some water after your drinks. That can deter hangovers." Except he didn't drink strong ones and should be fine regardless.
He chuckles. “Sounds good. Lead the way.”
I swallow hard, forcing myself to open the door and step out of the spaceship, the cool night air embraces me as I jog up the few steps to the main entrance of the apartment building. Am I ready for this?
Turns out, I'm ready to lead him to the unit and open the door for him, but... my living room surely isn't ready for visitors, let alone... the handsome kot'oll who has been setting fires in my stomach without even knowing.
As I push open the door to my apartment, a twinge of embarrassment swims in my stomach at the state of my living room. It's not exactly a disaster, but it's... lived-in. Clothes draped over the couch, a few empty glasses on the coffee table, and my shoes by the door are messy. I'm usually more organized, but the day got away from me, and honestly, I didn't expect to be bringing anyone home — especially not Vatok.
"Excuse the mess." I quickly scoop up the clothes and toss them into the nearest closet. "I wasn't exactly planning on having company."
His eyes linger on a framed photo of me in the animal shelter, my smile wide and genuine with different species of pets around me. "You look happy in this picture."
I pick up the frame, dusting off a layer of neglect. "Yeah, I think this is back on the anniversary celebration for the shelter. Sometimes, I don't know whether that should be celebrated. if no one leaves their pet, there won't be a need for shelters, but the shelter gives a home to the animals until they are ready for a new and hopefully permanent home."
Vatok nods, stepping closer to examine the photo. "It sounds interesting. I've never been one for pets. It has not been a thing with kot'olls. Beings keeping animals in their homes, huh?"
"Yeah, some do. Imagine a fluff ball greeting you after a rough day at work."
He blinks, seemingly giving that thought. "I suppose it will be enjoyable."
Enjoyable is such a... weird word in this situation, it should be 'awesome', or 'amazing.' Poor Vatok has never known fun.
He asks, "Do you have a pet?"
I shake my head. "I'm too busy to be able to take care of one. I get my fix from helping out in the shelter."
He muses and looks even closer at the photo as if he's trying to make out which animal is which.
His proximity is doing things to my insides, twisting them into knots of anticipation. He stands a step away from me, leaving enough room for me to feel safe even though... compared to me, he really is a tall and strong guy, which isn't as obvious when he's sitting on a stool in the bar and I'm standing and serving drinks. But his warmth makes its way to me, heating me...
I clear my throat, gesturing toward the small kitchen area. "Let me grab us something. Some water for you after your drinks?"
"Sure. Thank you. Where do I... I think I'll be on the couch."
"Yes, you can obviously be there." I head to the kitchen. "If there are things in your way, just toss them to the side."
"Okay."
I pour water for us. It is getting late by now, he has to be tired from his work and staying in the bar with me. The problem is, I don't know what I can give or do to thank him. I can make him extra drinks next time he's there, and tell him that I'm thankful, but that doesn't feel enough.
I pick up the cups and head to the living room. Vatok's sitting on the couch with a straight back and everything that screams how he's a serious guy.
Handing Vatok his water, I can't help but notice how his eyes follow my every move. It's like he's trying to figure out a puzzle, and I'm not sure if I'm the puzzle or just a piece of it. I sit down next to him, leaving a polite amount of space between us, but the magnetic pull of his presence makes the distance feel ridiculously small.
"Thank." He takes the cup from me. His fingers graze mine, sending a jolt of electricity up my arm. I withdraw my hand, tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear.
"No problem."
He takes a sip of his water and stares ahead, examining my home, which is.... unsettling to some extent, but when I invited him over, I should have expected that. He is a police officer and probably is trained to examine everything.
Silence lingers between us again. What do I do?
I don't mind the silence, he makes for pretty good company, which I know from our interaction in the bar, long before we pretend to be mates.
Is the pretend over now that we're away from anyone else's eyes?
I clear my throat, taking a sip of my water to buy some time. "So, Vatok, how long have you been a traffic officer?"
He leans back against the couch, the tension in his shoulders easing a bit. "About five years now. It's... methodical, which I like. There's a certain satisfaction in bringing order to the chaos of the streets."
I chuckle. "I can imagine. My bar is pretty organized, but I've seen the traffic outside during rush hour, it's chaos everywhere."
He laughs, a deep, resonant sound that fills the room and makes me feel lighter. "Do you call the bar organized? But just like in your bar, you get all kinds of characters. It keeps things interesting." He lifts his brows at me. "By the way, I haven't told you this. Do you know that it's wrong to be flying away when you're under inspection?"
Is that referring to how... "Hey! I've explained myself."
"But I wasn't done with you." He folds those arms and looks scary again.
I roll my eyes. "Come on... Are you here to arrest me or something?"
He takes my wrists, still folding his other two arms. "I don't understand you. So bold."
There are tingles from our touches. His hands are hot, which makes me wonder about the rest of his body. "When you work in the bar for a bit longer, you'd know about street smart."
He grunts and gently squeezes my wrists. "With the wrong officer, you'd be in trouble."
I sneak closer to him, resting on his side. "Are you saying that you're the right officer?"
The words hang between us, heavy with an implication I hadn't fully intended. But as I look up into Vatok's amber-flecked eyes, I realize I don't entirely mind the possibility of him being the right officer for me. I have to be out of my mind to want someone like this, barely knowing him. But...
Fuck... Maybe I just got smacked over the head with this handsome and muscular guy... I really should put myself together.
His gaze softens, and one of his hands releases my wrist to gently brush a strand of hair behind my ear, a gesture so unexpectedly tender that it sends a shiver down my spine. "I'm saying that I'm glad it was me that night."
I... I know he didn't fine my spaceship, probably shrugged it off, pretending that he didn't see my traffic violation. But in the moment, the air seems to be charged and I don't know what to do.
I've never been this... restless. I've never been stuck like this without having a comeback or something to say to ease the tension in the room. One would think I've had plenty of training from serving patrons in the bar. Yet... with Vatok...
Vatok's eyes flicker to my lips, and for a moment, I think he might lean in, closing the space between us. My breath hitches, my heart pounding a wild rhythm in my chest. I've flirted with countless customers, exchanged playful banter, and deflected advances with ease. But none of that prepared me for this.
He clears his throat and looks away. "I think the pretense is over. No one's watching."
His words hang in the air, and for a split second, a pang of disappointment ripples through my chest. The pretense is over—no more fake relationships. But then, why does my heart still race? Why does the room feel smaller with Vatok in it?
I nod, trying to keep my voice steady. "Yeah, the pretense is over. We don't have an audience here. Just you, me, and the empty glasses on the table."
Vatok's gaze returns to mine, and there's a vulnerability in his eyes that I haven't seen before. "Just us," he repeats, his voice a low rumble.
The silence that follows is different this time. It's no longer the comfortable quiet of two beings who don't know what to say. Instead, it's charged with the weight of unspoken thoughts and feelings that seem to dance just beneath the surface, threatening to break free at any moment.
I clear my throat. "I'm not sure whether others will be that easily convinced."
"That we are supposed to be mates?"
"Yes. I mean... things could have gone wrong."
"I can be in the bar more to make sure you'll be fine."
I blink at his quick suggestion, which seems to be fast coming from him.
He shrugs and adds. "But if you don't want that, I can understand too."
"You can always be in the bar regardless. And you don't get to think that you may distract me."
He chuckles and moves a hand to my chin, but he stops and awkwardly takes his hand to his belt, fixing the buckle. "I know you're good at your job."
The air between feels heavier than the last again. Vatok's hand hovers near his belt and the awkward moment passes as he regains his composure. I can't help but feel a twinge of amusement at his discomfort; it's endearing to see this strong, stoic kot'oll caught off guard.
"I don't doubt your abilities. But I also don't want you to feel like you have to handle everything alone."
His words resonate with me, touching a part of my heart that I've kept guarded for so long. I've always prided myself on being independent, on not needing anyone. But the idea of having Vatok around, not just as a pretend mate but as a... companion, stirs something within me.
I offer him a small smile. "I appreciate that. More than you know."
He nods, his gaze lingering on my face as if he's recording every detail to memory. We sit in silence for another moment. I think... now that I'm safely at home and I've given him water, there's not a lot of reason for him to remain here. I wasn't planning to get him here and... spend a night with him.
The thought sends tingles through my body. When I imagine things he can do to me with those arms and muscles, it is... tempting at least.
But he doesn't seem like that kind of male.
I clear my throat. "Tell me, what should I do to thank you?"
He frowns. "What do you mean? You don't have to thank me. I was just doing what any honorable male would do."
Ah, this is Vatok being Vatok to the finest, so uptight and serious.
I can't help but let out a soft chuckle at his earnestness. "Vatok, you've been... well, you've gone above and beyond. I mean, you put up with my bar shenanigans, you've been my knight in shining armor with the... less savory suitors, and you've even managed to make me laugh. That's worth something."
His bronze eyes meet mine, and there's a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "I suppose I did enjoy the... shenanigans. And your laughter is something I find myself looking forward to."
That catches me off guard, and I feel a flush creeping up my cheeks. I'm not sure how to respond, so I take a sip of my water, stalling for time. The liquid is cool, but it does nothing to dampen the warmth spreading through me.
He stifles a yawn. "Sorry, I don't mean to imply that being with you here in this fine place is boring. It has been a long day."
Is it time for him to leave? Just like that?
There's no official reason for him to stay, but I want him to stay. Do I... ask him to stay, just like that? And... why? Just because I want that?
The words stumble out before I can stop them. "You don't have to leave yet." My heart pounds as I realize what I've just said. "I mean, unless you want to. I know it's late, but..."
Vatok's eyes lock with mine, and the intensity in them makes my breath catch. One of his hands moves to rest on the couch cushion between us, close enough that I can feel its warmth but not quite touching me. "Julie..." The way he says my name sends shivers down my spine. "What do you mean?"
I wet my lips, noticing how his gaze follows the movement. "I'm not entirely sure. I just know that I'm not ready for this evening to end. Whatever this is."
He shifts closer, and all four of his arms create a cocoon of warmth around me, though he's still not quite touching me. "Are you suggesting for us to practice this pretending better? Just in case," he murmurs, his voice deeper than before.
"Hm... Maybe we should."
The space between us crackles with electricity, and I find myself leaning forward, drawn to him like a magnet. His breath fans across my face, warm and sweet. One of his hands finally, finally comes up to cup my cheek, and I lean into his touch.
"I should warn you. I'm not very good at casual."
The confession makes my heart skip a beat, even though it may be part of an act. "Good," I reply, my voice barely above a whisper. "Neither am I."
This time, when his eyes drop to my lips. He leans in, and I meet him halfway, our lips coming together in a kiss that starts soft but quickly deepens with all the tension that's been building between us all night.
His other hands find their way to my waist, my back, my hair, and I melt into his embrace.