33. VERENA GRAVENHURST
THIRTY-THREE
VERENA GRAVENHURST
There are moments in life that defy time—like you’ve slipped through the seams of the world into a place that’s somewhere between the living and the dead, yet nowhere all at once. Like time itself stands frozen, while your story still continues.
That moment weighs on me now, as quiet sobs, a warm hand against my cheek, and the smell of fresh flowers coax me back to the living. Except, I’m unsure if it’s the living at all, because as my eyes flutter open, they’re met with a pair of ocean blues that I’ve longed to drown in.
“Loxen?” I rasp, my eyes swelling with tears at the sight of him.
He coddles me in his lap like an infant, brushing the hair from my face, holding me so tightly like he thinks if he stops touching me, I’ll disappear completely.
He’s actually touching me. Loxen Gray’s hands are delicately brushing my flesh, and that realization alone has goosebumps cascading over my skin.
“God,” his voice cracks, “you’re going to be the death of me.
” He chokes back a laugh, tipping his head back against the tree.
Tears stain his cheeks. His eyes are puffy and red, as if he’d been crying for a long while.
Glimmers of sunlight burst through the branches overhead and dance along our skin as if it were a midsummer day.
But his eyes are a stark contrast to the world around us.
A brutal war of sorrow and fury clashes behind them, and my heart twists painfully at the memory of him screaming for mercy on my behalf.
A knot forms in the back of my throat, but I swallow it down.
The scent of iris catches on the breeze, and I turn my head, expecting to feel pain, but I feel nothing at all. Weightless. Birds chirp in the swaying willow above, some flying about. The sky is clear, not a single cloud in sight, and thousands of dark petals surround us as if welcoming me home.
A knowing silence settles over us as Loxen continues his steady caress through my hair. This isn’t just a dream.
“Lox?”
“Verena,” he replies, and I feel his breathing begin to calm.
“Where are we?” I ask under my breath, pulling my attention back to Loxen. He’s already staring down at me, like his eyes never left.
“I’m not sure,” he admits, shaking his head solemnly. “I thought it was hell, at first, where no one could see me, but I could see them. Until you arrived, that is,” he admits and kisses my forehead. “But you can’t stay, little crow,” he tells me calmly.
“What are you talking about?” I prop myself up on an elbow, searching his face for answers quicker than he can deliver them.
Loxen regards me with quiet devastation. “It’s not your time yet.”
My heart sinks. Pushing myself onto my knees, I climb onto his lap, straddling him.
It’s then I realize I’m not wearing my cloak, or even my usual academy attire, but the white silk dress I’d been gifted when I first arrived at the manor.
On my chest, where a gash from Reed’s blade should have split my skin, is nothing but unscathed, soft flesh.
Loxen drinks me in, with his dark hair feathering over his brow, and I place gentle hands over his cheeks.
Savouring the sight of him, I take in this moment as a memory I shall keep with me forever.
Running my fingers through his tousled hair, I trail my fingers down the side of his cheek, memorizing every detail of his face—the hard set of his jaw, the small scar above his eyebrow and the light dusting of freckles over his nose.
It’s like I’m truly seeing him for the very first time.
Touching him for the first time feels surreal, but also entirely comfortable, as if I’ve known him all my life.
Anxiety slithers through me at the thought of having to leave him again.
“No.” I shake my head. “I won’t go back, I can’t go back.” A tear streaks down my cheek. Loxen doesn’t say a word. “You tried to tell me how you felt, but I was afraid,” I admit, “and I pushed you away. Because I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved, and I wouldn’t survive losing you, too.”
Taking his hand, I place it over my heart, letting him feel the thumping of the most vulnerable part of me.
“Feel this?” His lips are slightly parted as he watches the rise and fall of my chest where his hand rests.
“This beats for you. My heart has always been yours, Loxen. I’ve just been too stubborn to admit it—to you and to myself.” I’m rambling, but I feel like I can’t get the words out fast enough.
“I-I love you, Loxen.” I think I have for a very long time.
Loxen’s breaths are uneven as he stares at me, at a loss for words.
Peering up at him beneath my lashes, I see the longing in his stare. “Say something, assho—”
His lips crash into mine. Hard and demanding, yet with a passion that consumes me.
The world around us ceases to exist. At this moment in time, it is just him and I, two lost souls tethered to each other as if it was never supposed to be any other way.
Loxen snakes his arms around my waist, flipping us over without breaking our kiss.
He kisses me with fervour as my back presses into the soft grass of the manor grounds.
Here, in the garden, surrounded by a bed of irises, is where we were always meant to find each other.
Where we’re always meant to be. I’ve never belonged anywhere the way I belong to him.
“My love for you knows no bounds. I could live and die a thousand times, and my heart would still find its way back to you. I am yours, Verena, through life and death.”
A tear slides down my cheek. Loxen tenderly wipes it away with the pad of his thumb, and the sensation of his delicate skin against mine is something I long for more of.
“Loxen, I can’t lose you. I don’t want to leave.” I rake my fingers through his hair, our bodies pressed together, sending a heartbeat to my most intimate areas. His finger finds my lips.
“I know. But we don’t have much time, little crow. I don’t want to waste a single moment we have together.”
I nod, my breath coming in slow and steady. Loxen peers down, watching the way my breasts dip with each exhale.
“I’ve waited far too long to have you.” His cobalt eyes darken with a ravenous hunger. Dipping his head, he peppers gentle kisses on the tops of my breasts, and I tip my head back, allowing him better access. I’m lost in his touch, and I don’t ever want to be found.
“More,” comes out in a needy whisper. Loxen’s devilish smirk makes an appearance, and my heart flutters in my chest. He captures my lips again, far gentler than before, though no less ardent, and I watch desire flicker beneath his delicate restraint.
His fingers travel up my inner thigh, and something that should be as effortless as breathing becomes difficult.
“Loxen,” I whimper, urging him to keep going. His fingers snake up to the edge of my panties, where he traces lazy circles around the edge of the fabric.
“Do you want me to touch you, little crow?” The raspy sound of his voice makes me squeeze my thighs together. A sinful grin graces his lips, and I feel like I’m on a tilt-a-whirl, spinning and spinning on a high I never want to come down from.
“Please!” I whine as I buck my hips forward, craving more of his touch.
“I like it when you beg, pretty girl.” I give him my best scowl.
“Touch me, Lox.” My voice is breathy as he slips his hand beneath the hem of my panties and slides his fingers through the folds of my aching pussy.
He withdraws his hand, showcasing the glistening wetness he’s discovered, and smirks.
“Is this all for me, Verena?” His smile is wicked, like he knows just how much I crave him.
“Assho—” He slides his two fingers into my mouth, urging me to suck my arousal off of him. I wrap my lips around them, swirling my tongue, ensuring I clean off every last drop.
“Such a good girl,” he praises, and I nip at the tip of his finger as he pulls them from my mouth.
Darkness dances in his eyes. His fingers return under my panties, and he slides them up and down my centre.
He inserts a digit into my entrance and slowly curls it forward, making my pussy pulse and my back arch off the soft grass.
“Please, Loxen, more!” I beg, and he dips another finger inside of me, pumping them in and out of my needy cunt. I’m flying. Or at least, my heart seems to feel that way. Loxen swirls his thumb over my swollen nub, teasing me and building up a release I’m not sure I’ll ever recover from.
“I want to watch you come undone, Verena. I want to feel how your body trembles beneath my touch. I want to hear you call my name like I’m the only one who knows your soul. Now, tell me you’re mine.”
A wave of pleasure rolls through me, and I nod, biting my lip.
“Use your words, little crow.”
He leans forward and slows his movements, just enough to send small bursts of ecstasy through me, but not enough to have me toppling over the edge.
“Tell me you’re mine,” he repeats against the shell of my ear, and his voice is my undoing.
“I’m yours, Lox. I’ve always been yours,” I whimper as my body quakes. An orgasm rips through my entire being with Loxen’s name a cry from my lips.
“Fucking beautiful,” he whispers, and kisses me.
Panting like a rabid animal, my hand strokes his hard length through his trousers, and a ferocious growl emanates from deep within his chest. I fumble with the button of his trousers, fighting to release him from the restraints of the fabric so that I can feel his manhood in my palm.
He leans back on his knees, giving me room to sit up while he removes his trousers from his body, tossing them into the flower beds beside us.
My eyes practically bulge from my head when I gaze upon the sheer size of this man’s thick length.
Gauging by the size of his ego, I shouldn’t have been surprised by the massive size of Loxen Gray’s cock.
His smirk returns, as if knowing the thoughts that run rampant through my mind.
He strokes himself while on his knees, and the sight is sending me into fucking delirium.
“Remove your dress for me,” he demands, and I do. Pulling the dress over my head, I toss it to the side and wait for further instruction. Loxen swipes his tongue over his lips, and I find myself trying to keep my own drooling at bay.
“Peel off your undergarments—slowly and open yourself up to me. Let me look at you.”
Unhooking my bra, I let it fall forward, uncupping my breasts as they bounce free from their entrapment.
My nipples are pebbled and ache for the touch of Loxen’s rough hands.
Lox continues to stroke his cock while I undress, baring myself before him.
I lie back and peel my panties from my legs, while I watch his eyes fall upon my glistening cunt.
I spread my legs wide and bring a hand to my pussy, swirling my fingers through my arousal.
“Do you want to taste me, Lox?”
“Fuck,” is his only response as he leans forward, wrapping my legs around his shoulders and feasts on me like he’s a starved man and I’m the most delicious meal he’s ever eaten.
“Oh, God,” I whimper. Loxen slaps my pussy, and I yelp at the unexpected pleasure.
“Scream my name, Verena. There are no gods here.” Another flick of his tongue has my eyes rolling into the back of my head.
“Loxen!” I shout, propping myself up on my elbows to get a good look at him, “Please,” I beg, “I need to feel you inside me.”
Loxen stops his indulgence and hovers over my body. I’m completely breathless.
“Lay back, little crow, and let me fill you with a love so bewitching, you’ll never forget who your heart belongs to.”
I obey, not wanting to waste another second without knowing what it feels like with him inside me. He slides the tip of his cock against my entrance, working his length up and down, drenching himself in my wetness.
Bucking my hips forward, Loxen laughs at my enthusiasm and continues to tease me before sliding himself inside of me fully in one slow thrust. I gasp at the sudden fullness and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling his body flush against my own, needing to be one with him entirely.
He kisses me in the arch of my neck, nibbling and swirling his tongue in a way that has me drowning in desire.
He moves inside of me in slow, long strokes, our bodies colliding, over and over again, eternally connecting us through this life and the next.
I love him, I think to myself and grip onto him with all of my might.
My hands find Loxen’s face, and we stare into each other’s eyes for a long moment.
His thrusts become deeper and faster while our breathing becomes laboured, the hard truth of this temporary moment of bliss dawning on both of us as we cling to one another, unwilling to let go.
“Keep me, Lox, please keep me,” I plead, a tear slipping from the corner of my eye. He pushes deeper and captures my lips between his, solidifying our love, no matter what is to come next.
“I’ll never let you go, little crow.” A promise I know he’ll forever keep.
We come together, an explosion of euphoria, filtering through the bounds of time and space.
Nothing will ever feel better than the here and now, and that truth leaves a hole within me so deep I’m not sure how I’ll ever go on.