Chapter Ten
“You want to go into town?”
I pop a grape in my mouth and nod at Riggs. “I need to go to the post office.”
“Porter has been carted away from the gates by the cops two days in a row now. What if he turns up again?”
Oh, he would. My secret ingredient in his creamer made sure of that, but that’s beside the point.
“Then the police will take him away again.”
“You know I can go to the post office for you, right? I usually do.”
“I know, but things are different with Dawn and Hannah here. I don’t doubt that Porter is watching the place. The second you leave, he’ll make his next attempt at getting in here. You’re the deterrent here, not me.”
“And what if he is watching? What if he comes for you instead?”
“I’m going to be surrounded by people.”
“People who never did a fucking thing to help you before.”
I get up from my chair and walk over to him, sliding my hands up his arms. “I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t need anyone to protect me.”
I cover his mouth with my fingers so he doesn’t say that’s literally the reason I hired him.
“I’m not talking about at nighttime when I’m asleep and vulnerable.
I’m not taking liberties with my safety, but I’m also not going to be able to hide away here forever.
I mean, I could, but in the long run, I don’t think it will do them or me any favors.
” I point toward the door to indicate Dawn and Hannah, who are in the other room.
“I’m going to give this town a chance. I’m offering the proverbial olive branch.
Some will take it, some won't. But for that little girl inside who’ll need friends beyond me, you, and her mother, I have to try.
And that means putting in the groundwork and interacting with people outside the ranch.
The post office is as good a place to start as any. ”
He sighs in frustration. “At least call Shepard. He can pick you up and drop you off. Nobody will mess with you if you have the sheriff hanging around.”
“I heard there was an incident this morning over at Alconbury farm.”
“What kind of incident, and how do you know?”
“The kind that involves an attempted murder-suicide. I have a police radio in my workshop. And before you ask, it’s mostly because I’m nosy and partly because I want to keep an ear out for any mentions of this place over the airwaves.
After all, it’s always nice to have a heads up if the police plan on coming. ”
He wraps his arms around me and presses his lips to my head. “How are you planning on getting there if neither Shepard nor I can take you?”
“Uber.”
He makes a face. “We spend fucking years telling kids and women not to get into cars with strange men only to make it socially acceptable to get into cars with strange men.”
“Alright, talking of strange men, how about I text Austin?”
“Austin? As in dickhead Austin. Austin who—”
I cover his mouth with my hand again. “He didn’t rape me, Riggs,” I say softly.
“He tried to keep me away from my father, but having no idea how to convince a terrified sixteen-year-old girl why she should stay, he knocked her out. He didn’t think about Andy.
He should have, but to him, that was his baby brother.
He was my tormentor, and if anyone had asked me if I thought he was capable of that, I’d have said no.
He fucked up, and yeah, I’m still mad about it, but I’m not making hating him my whole identity anymore.
Up until last night, he thought it was my father who raped me. ”
“What? How?”
“You have to remember I didn’t speak about it.
Somehow, my medical information was leaked, and given who I was on trial for killing, it wasn’t hard to add two and two together and come up with eight.
Austin was mad he didn’t give me enough to keep me under, thinking I’d gone home, and well… You can imagine the rest.”
“I still don’t like the guy. Real men don’t drug young fucking girls.”
“I’m not arguing with you there. I’m just saying there was a little more to it. More than you know and…” My voice drifts off as I look away, unsure what to say.
He slides his fingers under my jaw and turns my head back to face him. “He knows, doesn’t he?”
“Knows what?”
“Whatever it is you’re hiding from me.”
I close my eyes and sigh. “I didn’t confide in him. He knew before I did. It’s why he did what he did.”
“None of this is making any sense.”
“I know. It’s just…”
“You don’t want to tell me.”
“I don’t want you to look at me differently.”
He swallows hard before he reaches up and slips his eyepatch off.
I take in the empty socket and the angry scarring.
It looks like someone scooped his eyeball out with a piece of jagged glass.
“I get not wanting to be looked at differently,” he says softly, before putting his patch back on and adjusting it.
“I’m in love with you, Opie. I’m never going to not see you through heart-shaped lenses. ”
I swear I nearly swallow my damn tongue.
He grins, the asshole. “Don’t tell me you didn’t know.”
I open my mouth and close it again, not wanting to make liars out of either of us.
“You don’t have to say it back. In fact, I’d rather you didn’t.”
“Why?” I croak out.
“Because when you say it, I’ll know it’s because you’re one hundred percent ready. Not because you felt pressured, or coerced, or because you worried I might not stay if I didn’t hear those words in return.”
“What if I’m never ready?”
He crowds closer, his hands sliding around my hips, pulling me tight against him. “Just like you knew I loved you before I said the words, I know,” he says, kissing me before I can protest, short-circuiting my brain in the process.
He pulls back. I have to give him something.
He’s right that I’m not ready to tell him I love him yet.
What I feel right now is a tangled mess that I haven’t taken the time to unravel.
I won’t lie, part of that is fear. If you dig deep enough into someone, even if that someone is yourself, you are always going to find elements you don’t like.
I guess a part of me worries that the darkness inside me wasn’t caused by my upbringing but is a byproduct of the blood running through my veins.
It’s easy to be righteous when you’re the injured party.
But the second I killed Dale and started plotting Porter’s demise, I’ve struggled with those parts of myself.
Not because I hate myself for succumbing to the darkness, but because I crave it.
I pull away and look up at him. My heart skips a beat at how nervous I am. “When I say I can take care of myself, I mean it,” I whisper, taking a step back and bringing my hand up between us. If he can make himself vulnerable in front of me, then dammit, I can do the same.
He frowns and looks down at my hand. I focus, and his eyes widen, his lips opening in surprise as sparks fly across my hand. I make them dance across my skin in a recurring pattern before they skip and jump.
He reaches out to touch one, bouncing back when he gets shocked. “Holy shit.”
I grin, letting the sparks die away as I wait for him to say something.
As the silence grows between us, the worry creeps in.
My smile slips, and I’m about to move away, when he yanks me to him and slams his mouth down over me.
I whimper in surprise against him, not resisting when he yanks open the button of my denim skirt and slips his hand down the front.
“Knew you were fucking special before you showed me that.”
“The sparks turned you on?” I pant as he slips his fingers inside me, making me groan.
“No, though you did look sexy as hell. Your trust in me turns me on. I know that shit isn’t easy for you, so consider this your reward.”
“I do like rewards,” I murmur. He spins me around and yanks my skirt up over my ass before shoving my underwear down my thighs. I hear him fumble with his jeans as I slowly remember that we are not alone in the house.
“Shit, Riggs, what about Dawn and Hannah? They might hear us.”
“Better be quiet then, Opie, because nothing is stopping me from slipping inside you.” And true to his words, I feel his hard cock at my entrance a moment before he surges in.
I rear back. The man is smart enough to cover my mouth with his hand, which is just as well because I scream from the force with which he takes me.
He feels so deep from this angle, and he’s savage in his fucking, so much so that it’s borderline painful.
It’s perfect and yet not enough. I swear this man could crawl beneath my skin, and I’d still beg for more.
His free hand slides under my T-shirt and yanks the cup of my bra down so he can pinch my nipple as he thrusts into me over and over.
“I’m going to fill you with my cum, and then you’re going to call the asshole and have him take you to town.
I want him to sit beside you in that truck of his and smell me on your skin.
He won’t say anything, but he’ll know that my cum is painting your thighs and soaking through your panties.
You want to go spend your day with another man who can’t stop thinking about being inside you?
Then you’ll do it wearing my cum, and my brand. ”
His brand? But then his teeth sink into the skin of my neck on the opposite side of the mark still visible from Shepard.
I can’t help it. Wearing the bruises and teeth marks of two different men sends me into a tailspin.
I scream into Riggs’s hand as I come all over his cock, soaking us both.
His breathing becomes ragged, and his thrusts falter until he plants himself inside me as far as he can go.
And then I feel it, the warmth of him filling the deepest parts of me.
A sense of awareness washes over me, and I yank myself away from him, pulling my panties up and my skirt back down.
I fasten the button before slipping my boob back into its cup.
Riggs reads my reaction correctly. He tucks himself away with a grin before walking over to the sink to wash his hands.
My breathing is still too fast as Hannah walks in holding the teddy bear with the bow around its neck in her arms.
“Can we have pancakes for breakfast, Riggs?” she asks before her eyes land on me and light up. “Can we plant flowers today?”
“I have to go to the post office first, but I do have some plants that need transferring from their pots to outside if you want to help me later. And then I’ll take you to one of the flower patches, and you can make a bouquet for your mom if you like.”
“Yes, please.” She looks so damn excited that it’s infectious. Despite feeling awkward as fuck about what happened between Riggs and me just moments ago, I can’t help but smile along with her.
“Pancakes first, though, missy. Why don’t you go ask your mom if she wants some, and if so, what flavor, and then come back so you can help me,” Riggs instructs her.
“Yippee!” she shouts, making him grin.
She scurries off as he calls after her. “Don’t forget to wash your hands, Cookie.”
“Okay!” she yells back.
Riggs stalks back over to me. “You’d better go before I remember why this is such a bad idea and chain you to the bed instead.”
I step up on my tiptoes and kiss him lightly. “If anyone is getting chained to the bed, it’s you, so that I can have my wicked way with you. Call it payback for me having to wear wet panties all day. It’s going to be uncomfortable as fuck.”
“But every time you move, you’ll think of me and what I did to you. I bet you last an hour before you have to find a restroom and get yourself off, fucking some of my cum back inside you where it belongs.”
And I’m pretty sure I just had a mini orgasm again, thanks to his dirty words. “Behave yourself.”
He winks. “I’m always good. Real good.”
I groan before shoving him away, making him laugh. I head to the door as he calls my name. I look over my shoulder, his face serious once more.
“You’re badass, I get it. But shit happens sometimes. No matter where you go or what you do, you do whatever it takes to come home to me, okay?”
I walk over to him and reach up, lifting his eyepatch as he freezes solid. I get up on my tiptoes as I grasp a handful of his T-shirt and tug him toward me. He shudders when I press a soft kiss against his ruined skin, showing him my acceptance and love in the only way I know how.
“I promise. I will always come home to you,” I whisper, feeling strangely choked up. I cover his eye back up and take a step back when we hear Hannah approaching.
“Good, I’m gonna hold you to that.” He winks as Hannah runs in. “Now get out of here so I can make pancakes with my second favorite girl.”