Chapter Thirteen #2
Austin is in such a hurry to pull me to the car that I don’t pay attention to my surroundings. Perhaps if I had, I’d have seen the once lifeless hanging baskets full of new shoots, or the daisies poking through the stones of the path.
Daisies that weren’t there when I arrived.
We drive in silence for a few miles before Austin’s hand slides over my thigh. He grips me tight, not enough to hurt, but enough to remind himself I’m still here. I’m not sure what to make of what happened back there, and I’ll add that to the fucked-up collage of my life that I’ll examine later.
“You okay?” I ask him gently.
“I scared you?”
“What, in general, or back then?” I joke, but he clenches his jaw.
He’s deadly serious. “Hey.” I slide my hand over the one on my thigh, and when he flips it over, I lace my fingers through his.
“I’ve felt a lot of ways about you over the years—awed, angry, coy, sad, disappointed, angry again, exasperated, frustrated, turned on, and well, angry again.
But scared—not so much. I won’t say I’ve never felt fear toward you.
That night…I didn’t know who was attacking me.
And again in my pasture, though anger won out in the end.
It doesn’t make sense because I know I should be terrified of you.
Of what you represent. But some part of me really doesn’t think you want to hurt me. ”
“I might, though. Sometimes I kind of check out. I don’t even know I’ve done it until I come back. Something felt off. I came to see what was happening, and I heard what you said. And I just lost it.”
“You didn’t. Not really. You just choked the ass a little, and he deserved it.”
“I wanted to kill him. I would have killed him if you hadn’t stopped me.”
“I don’t care about Derek. I just didn’t want you to do it in front of Jackie.
No mother needs to watch their son die in front of them, regardless of what kind of man they grew up to be.
Who he is now is on him, but once upon a time, he was a tiny baby she fed and bathed and sang to.
I have a feeling she’ll need those untainted memories in the years to come. ”
“You won’t always be there to pull me back. If he steps out of line again, I’ll end him. Consequences be damned.”
“I get it. Just be careful.”
He looks over at me and frowns. “Did I just get your blessing to murder someone?”
“Meh, some people deserve second chances, others deserve to be buried alive. Time will tell where Derek falls. If he turns up dead, I won’t be surprised. I’ll be pissed, though, if the evidence leads back to you.”
He grins. It’s slightly manic in an adorably bloodthirsty kind of way. Yep, I definitely need therapy.
“Home?”
“Actually, I’m starving. Want to grab something to eat?”
“You want to eat at the diner?”
“Or the bar. That serves food, too, right? Unless you don’t want to.”
“The day I turn down spending time with you is the day you’ll know I’ve been body snatched.”
“Is that right?”
His thumb traces circles across the back of my palm. “You don’t believe me now, but you’ll see. I should probably apologize in advance.”
“What for?”
“Let’s just say, when I want something, there is no holding me back. And right now, I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you.”
I sigh. I don’t pull my hand away, knowing he needs this connection between us. “You know I will never be just yours, no matter what happens.”
“Because of the con and the cop.”
“Because of Riggs, definitely. I’m not sure what’s going to happen with Shepard. We have this explosive chemistry, but we’re very different people. Perhaps too different.”
“I could get rid of them both. That would clear the way for just me.”
I look at him and let steel infuse my features. “You could, but then I’d never be yours. I’d burn your world to the ground.”
“But you can’t hurt me.”
“Don’t get cocky. My powers might not work on you, but a machete would do the trick. Failing that, I don’t need to kill you to stop you from having me. I just have to kill myself.”
The car swerves dangerously as his anger becomes so thick that it makes it hard to breathe.
“Never threaten me with that. I’d chain you up before I ever let that happen.”
“Then don’t talk about killing Riggs and Shepard. That’s a deal breaker.”
The cloying anger pulls back, leaving behind that weird, walking-on-eggshells feeling where you worry that something you say might set someone off.
It’s a feeling that makes my temper flash because I swore I’d never let myself feel this way again, not after that very thing dominated my whole childhood.
I swallow it down and sit up straight, shoring up my defenses, readying myself for what he might say next.
I don’t want to hurt him, not right now at least. But I mean what I said.
If he becomes a threat to those I care about, I’ll kill him, and my powers will be the least of his worries.
“You love him.”
I look out the side window, not answering. I’ll be damned if I tell Austin how I feel before I admit it to Riggs.
“Fine. I won’t kill them, but if they fuck with you—”
“I’ll fuck with them right back. They’re mine, Austin, and if you ever hope to be a part of that, you’d better understand that right now. They are not your competition. They are not your anything right now. Maybe one day, they could give you something we’re both sorely lacking.”
“And what’s that?”
“Family.”