Chapter Twenty-Three - Sen
“Iknow you’ve made your mind up,” Lucero speaks for the first time since leaving Astra and Grey.
I drive towards the mansion, the swaying trees scattering the early morning sunlight across the road.
“About?” I reply, passing through the wrought iron gates as I turn into the mansion’s courtyard.
“Don’t play dumb, Sen.” Beside me, I feel the static shock of Luc’s glare. “If this were Golden, I’d sacrifice myself for him, too.”
The car glides to a stop, and I cut the engine off.
When we first left Emma’s house of corpses, a cool sense of acceptance washed over me. I never expected to live a long life, even on that fateful night where I met Vidar. A part of me believed it’d be my last. A belief I’ve had countless nights since.
So while I won’t be offering my neck to Summer without a fight, if my heart stopping means Teagan living, it doesn’t feel like an end.
“Sen, listen to me—”
“You’d look after him, Lucero. My Teagan. He is…”
Talented and strong. Gentle and wicked, so stunning that I finally understand why Fate plays her games. If I were a thing that could only observe, all I’d want to do is stare at him, too.
So, while all of this is unfair, it’s the comedic punchline of a life in which I’ve cheated, scammed, and lied.
“You know I will.” Luc claps my shoulder and squeezes. “Just like you know, Vidar, Rurik, and I will find another way. Ramy, too, though you’ve spent little time with our youngest.”
“Isn’t Golden now the youngest?” I murmur.
Lucero is quiet for a moment. “Technically. Vidar has claimed him as part of our Haraldsson vampire family.” Then he says, lower, “but he is mine.”
I want to roll my eyes at his ridiculously possessive tone, but I understand. Teagan will never be Vidar’s either. Mine, always mine.
“Besides, Kai was turned last. So really he’d be our youngest now.”
I snort, then rest my head on the backrest. “Do you have any idea where our wayward Rurik is?”
“No,” Luc sighs. “But Rurik’s been messaging Kai. So at least he’s alive.”
“Good.” My eyelids drop, letting out a long sigh that’s grown heavier since Emma shared her secrets. “I thought having a soulmate would mean much more sex. At the very least, a handjob.”
Luc chuckles, but it sounds half-hearted.
“In truth…” I open my eyes, rolling my head to stare at Luc’s strong nose and sharp, blue gaze. His dark hair is pushed away from the hard line of his jaw. “I’ve never thought about soulmates. Then you found your first one, and I was nearly taken with the idea.”
“I can admit I might’ve not done a good job inspiring others to find theirs,” he says.
“Maybe.” I shrug. “But I much prefer Golden to the others.”
Luc shakes his head, but I see he agrees with me from the twitch at the corner of his lip.
“You lost three soulmates,” I say after a moment of silence. “Rurik lost Apollo—twice, really. Vidar almost lost Kai. Watching each of you suffer through those losses made me think I was the lucky one. Love really did look painful.”
“Do you still believe that?”
My attention drifts to the evergreens and their swaying leaves framing the expanse of the mansion.
Teagan deserves a life where the memory of me doesn’t haunt him.
I want him to continue breaking into places and climbing stupidly tall buildings.
To forever be brave, and while the thought of someone else at Teagan’s side, experiencing every thrill, and every quiet moment, makes me want to rip their hypothetical skin off, for Teagan… I will bear it.
Begrudgingly, however. I’m no saint.
“Go see your lovely mate,” I tell Luc. “I know you miss him.”
The look Lucero gives me is a fierce one, but understanding all the same.
He, more than anyone, can relate to how we do foolish things for those we care about.
I’d love to blame Fate, cosmic meddler that she is.
But at any other time or place, I would’ve been just as captivated by my little paint-stained daredevil.
“What about you?”
“I need to change, as do you,” I reply. “I’m going to go back to my hotel and check in with my detective to see if she’s discovered anything new.”
“Grey’s wolves are also searching.” His eyebrow quirks. “You think a human will find something first?”
“Hasn’t she already?”
Luc pauses, then makes a sound of reluctant agreement. “Who knew it’d be you with the affinity for humans.”
“They are endlessly fascinating,” I reply with a half-hearted smirk, then gesture my chin towards the mansion. “Go tell the others what happened.”
“You, Sen, are a love-sick fool.” Luc claps my thigh. “I never thought I’d see the day.”
“At least I’m entertaining.”
Luc climbs out of the car, but before he leaves, he bends to say, “Bran is here,” then darts into the mansion.
Stepping out of my car, I stroll towards the familiar figure lounging on the steps, bathing in the sun as if frost wasn’t clinging to the evergreens.
“I’m surprised you’re still here, Bran.”
His legs are crossed at the ankles, his elbows bent on the stone step. “Now we’ve finally reached this point, I plan to stick around to ensure you all play your parts.”
“And where are we exactly, oh wise one?”
“Nearing the closing act,” Bran replies, his mocking tone only adding to his naked intensity—like he might find it all a joke, but he’ll go to dark lengths to get what he wants.
And hasn’t the crazy motherfucker done just that?
“It’d be very helpful if you could share your plans,” I ask, knowing full well Bran won’t.
“The events I’ve set in motion started before your father climbed on top of your mother.”
“Delightful.”
Bran flashes a smile that’s all teeth. “You will all claim your soulmates.”
“And what if we don’t want to?”
Bran stretches out like a satisfied cat. “I could always fuck Teagan in your place, if you’re not up for the challenge.”
I’m flashing my fangs before it registers that Bran is goading me. Frustrated that I allowed this ancient bastard to get to me, I force my fangs back, much to his delight.
Running my tongue along my teeth, I ignore the urge to snap Bran in half. Not that it’d get me anywhere. Ignoring the fact he’s older than most civilisations, Bran’s a wily fuck. Like a cockroach. “Is your blood really strong enough to bring someone back from the dead?”
Bran waits a beat, then laughs. Really belly laughs, even holding onto his middle.
“I guess I should’ve expected that,” I mutter to myself.
“I had no idea you thought so highly of me, Sen.” Bran wipes a tear from his eye. “I’m touched.”
My gaze travels past Bran to the mansion. If I concentrate, I can touch the connection that leads to Teagan. He’s so close I can almost smell his warm sand and sweet tea scent. My heart yearns to move past Bran, push open the doors and take my soulmate in my arms just like the others are allowed.
I’m sure Luc and Vidar will try to find ways around my sacrifice. But we’ve known each other for lifetimes. Teagan, however…
I run my fingers through my hair, sighing. “No wonder so many people don’t try to be selfless.”
“I wouldn’t know,” Bran replies, cocky as sin.
“Me either.”
I made a choice when I accepted what must be done, so when I turn away and head back towards my car, I solidify that choice.
For Teagan’s safety, I have to keep my distance.
I will protect Teagan from the heartbreak of losing a soulmate. He will not be like Rurik, who was slowly killing himself, or Lucero, who was sinking into apathy, or Vidar when he clutched Kai to his chest, unwilling to accept reality when he thought Kai was dead.
To save him from that cruelty, I’ll be cruel to him now.
I hear the swing of the opening door, the crunch of shoes rushing across pebbles, and then, the smallest, most beautiful raspy voice, “Sen.”
How am I supposed to be strong when Teagan makes me weak?
I keep my back to him. I grab hold of the door handle and rip it open. “Go back inside, Teagan.”
The sound of crunching pebbles draws closer until a soft wall of heat and the scent of warm sand and sweet tea flows across my senses like a caress.
And something else, something I can’t capture just yet.
He stays silent, yet I feel all that is unsaid as if he were screaming.
My eyes stay trained on the window, teeth clenched. “I have no time for you right now. Go be with your brother,” I say, harsher than I ever want to be. “I don’t want to see you—”
His hand rests on my forearm, soft as a butterfly’s wings, and my resolve is caught by the wind to be carried away.
“Take me with you,” he whispers, like he’s asking me never to leave, and fuck, I would. How could I ever reject a single request he lays at my feet?
When I face him, he is so painfully beautiful that I never stood a chance. His large, curious gaze is locked on mine. Small, soft lips part like all the words he doesn’t say are on the tip of his tongue. And how I want to grab his face and swallow deep until I know his every single thought.
“Teagan…” I drop my head. “I…”
His hand circles my wrist, his hold something I could easily break, but I don’t want to. I never want to.
Then he whispers, voice shaking, and like a dame in an old noir movie—our little game, “Let’s blow this joint, slick.”
I have to physically stop myself from taking his mouth; our first kiss will not be in front of Bran, who’s smirking at us from where he sits.
I take Teagan’s hand, lead him around my car, and rip open the passenger door. He slips in, and only when I snap his seatbelt do I let go—the loss of his addictive heat immediate—then I drop into my own seat.
Before I can even think about it, I’m taking us away. Teagan’s hand rests on my thigh like he doesn’t trust me not to escape, while my heart beats with the same excited trepidation as when I have escaped and not been caught stealing something precious.
With one hand, he manages to open ABBA’s greatest hits and slides the CD inside my stereo. “Nice outfit, by the way.”