Chapter Twenty-Seven - Teagan
Sen drives us back to the mansion, weaving through stop-start midday traffic in tense silence. He’s about to slide in his ABBA CD, but I stop him with a shake of my head while glaring out of the window.
“Teagan.”
I say nothing, not ready to talk or listen. The same as when I dressed him in a long-sleeved black turtleneck tucked into tailored trousers, decorated with a simple black belt with a gold buckle, and shiny black Oxford shoes.
His hair is brushed back with a thin layer of gel. I was tempted to add a hint of glitter to show the depth of his dark locks, but Sen didn’t have any.
He looks good, but that doesn’t mean I’m about to forgive him for being a moron.
“Sweetheart.”
I cross my arms.
Sen manoeuvres us out of the city, and soon we’re gliding down open roads with fields and trees rushing past. I wonder how fast his purring beast can go, and if he’d ever let me drive it. But even the possibility of high speeds doesn’t lower the temperature of the annoyance I’m stewing in.
“I am trying to give you space, Teagan. And failing, obviously,” he says with a hint of humour.
I glance at his reflection to find his tongue running along his teeth, the steering wheel fisted.
“I used to be famed for my patience. But something about you…” He lets out a disbelieving laugh.
“Something about you makes me lose my head.”
Sen indicates, the tick-tocking counting down the seconds before he turns into a pockmarked road, wild with trees and bushes.
“I thought I knew you,” I say quietly, just as the indicator cuts off. “Or I was getting to know you. I understand that you needed to keep quiet about the soulmate thing, and the Summer thing and…well, everything. But I know now, and…”
I dig my nails into my arms. We don’t have time for me to paint, but I wish I could grab the spray cans in my bag tossed in the back seat, and make the road my canvas. Not to work out my feelings, but how to express them to Sen.
“Unsaid things never used to bother me…” I whisper more to my reflection than his. “I…”
I trusted Carter and my friends at uni, and I’m still picking out shards from when that trust shattered.
I shake my head, not sure how to explain.
And then Sen says, “With me, you say whatever is on your mind, okay? Even if that’s your silence.”
I can’t say how long I stay quiet as branches brush over the roof, and the sun tries to penetrate the grey sky. But the words stuck between my lungs and throat finally come free.
“I trust you. I told you what happened to me before anyone else—before Kai. Do you know…” I swallow. “Do you even understand what a big deal that was?”
“I do,” Sen promises.
“Wanting you scares me.” I look at his reflected profile. His crooked nose and the secret smile at the corner of his lips. The strained tendons in his neck and his flexing fingers. “Wanting to gut myself and share every little secret scares me, and I need to know that you…”
The excitement of Sen giving up control is a high I’ll always chase, yet as I bear myself to him, I can’t help but wonder if it’s something I’m doing willingly. How can I tell the difference between falling in love and being soulmates?
If there even is one.
“Don’t lie to me again.”
Sen is quiet for a long stretch. “I thought you’d hear from Lucero. I never planned to take you to my hotel, to have sex, to…”
To fall in love, the unsaid things are loud between us.
“I tried to walk away. I wanted distance to protect—”
“I don’t need protecting,” I bite out each word.
He steers between the wrought iron gates and glides to a gentle stop. “You do.”
My annoyance bubbles hot. I press myself into the window as I hear him shift toward me.
“I want you exactly as you are; climb the tallest tower, dive the deepest oceans, skate as fast as you can. I will never stop you. But I plan to be by your side for all of it. You are fucking strong, and capable, and so damn beautiful it drives me insane.”
I press my lips together to stop them from twitching.
“But in this…” Sen cards his fingers through my curls. “I will keep you safe, and I promise never to hide anything again.”
I turn to face him, his expression serious. I can fight him all I want, but I know he’s right, which I don’t want to admit. So after a stubborn beat, I say, “Someone’s acting very butch and protective.”
Sen chuckles low. “On occasion.” And because Sen knows me, as I know him, we both hear the unsaid agreement.
He cups my face, his thumb stroking my cheek, and I find that I don’t care if this is fate or love or a weird, horny mix of both—I want Sen, forever.
“Listen, sweetheart,” he says like an old noir detective, and I can’t stop my twitching lip from turning into a full, beaming smile. “You’re in deep, and I plan to do everything I can to get you out clean.”
I uncross my arms and lay a palm over his. “I want you out clean, too, slick.”
Sen leans forward. “There ain’t been a day in this damn city where I’ve been clean. But since it’s you askin’...” He brushes our lips together. “I’ll do my damndest.”
“And we’ll have time to work on…being,” I whisper against his lips. “Together?”
“Yes.”
I don’t know who moves first, but our mouths clash. I tangle my fingers into his hair, grab hold of the strands and force him closer. Sen’s arm wraps around my waist to push our chests together. The small space heats, the windows fogging as we share each panted breath.
I want to climb onto his lap. I want his fingers back inside me. I want to tell him exactly what I want, and for this badass motherfucking vampire to do exactly what I say.
I ache for more, for everything. I don’t get hard, but with Sen, I don’t care.
The door on my side rips open, letting in a whoosh of cold air. I take my time turning to find my brother’s glare.
“Can’t you see we were making out?” I ask, Sen’s chuckle vibrating against my cheek where his face is pressed.
“I wish this was the first time I’ve had to say this to you, Teagan.” Kai levels me with an unimpressed look. “But untangle yourself from the man, and get out of the car.”
“Not the first time, huh?” Sen smirks, letting me go and stepping out on his side.
After a beat, I crawl over the console to follow Sen, then raise an eyebrow at Kai, who only rolls his eyes and slams the door shut.
“I told you I was a slut,” I tell Sen, taking his hand and pulling him towards the mansion. “I thought you were cool with that?”
“I have no problem with your history. I much prefer you over some terrified virgin.”
“I’m definitely not,” I say, feeling lighter than before. “I fuck a lot.”
“I hate this conversation,” Kai grumbles behind us.
Sen squeezes my hand. “But from now on, that body is just for me.”
A bubble of mischievous excitement rises in my chest. “Just you?”
Sen’s smirk turns dirty, his eyes hooded. “I’m not opposed to allowing others—”
“VIDAR! Sen and Teagan are here,” Kai shouts. Then, quieter, says, “And I wish they’d shut the fuck up.”
“You’re such a prude, big bro.”
Sen’s eyes glint as he lifts my hand to kiss the inside of my wrist.
Kai pushes ahead, hands shoved into his leather jacket painted with purple symbols, to lead us to the packed kitchen.
“Hey, dude!” Golden waves as we enter, holding knitting needles tangled with yarn, and nearly slices Ramy’s face, who casually moves out of the way as if he’s done this many times already. “You don’t happen to know how to knit…?”
I nod.
Golden goes to say more, but Ramy gently collects Golden’s waving hands.
“We haven’t been properly introduced.” Ramy’s voice is a soft breeze as he guides Golden’s hands down into Golden’s lap. “I’m Ramy.”
“Welcome to this shit show, lad!” Apollo says, perched next to Golden, cheeks full of the apple he’s munching on and dressed in his normal punk T-shirt. Forget-me-not tattoos scattered from his neck all the way down to the backs of his hands, silver earrings gleaming from his ears.
“I was surprised when Kai told me you’re a vampire,” I tell Apollo.
“Same.” Apollo tosses his head back and cackles.
I don’t understand what he means, but having a conversation with Apollo means leaving confused.
Sen wraps his arms around my shoulders, which is when I see Vidar move forward.
“Lucero told us what Emma said and what my wayward offspring plans.” Vidar nods in Sen’s direction.
I glare. “He isn’t doing it.”
“Of course not.” The dark-haired man I saw Sen fighting with when he first brought me to the mansion says. He leans against a wall next to Golden.
“I’ve already been set right, Lucero,” Sen sighs.
“We know other mages.” Vidar folds his bulging, tattooed arms. “We will find a way out of this.”
“That’s what I told him!” I say, elbowing Sen’s stomach.
“Yes, yes,” Sen says into my hair. “I apparently become fatalistic in proximity to my soulmate.”
“So you’re admitting you’re an idiot?” Lucero remarks, more focused on twirling one of Golden’s curls around his finger than on what’s being said.
“In this very rare case, yes. Look at me, catching up to you.”
Lucero flicks an amused look at Sen before returning his full attention to Golden, as Golden tries to wrap the colourful yarn back into a bundle.
“Now that the matter’s settled, time to figure a way out of this.” Vidar claps me on the shoulder. I wish I still hated the giant vampire, but when I glance at Kai to see his green eyes melting, I know I never really stood a chance.
“This whole display is disgusting.”
My gaze darts to the corner to find a familiar elfin figure sulking. “Hey, Elio.”
I smile, Elio glares, and I can already tell we’re gonna be great friends.
The fridge door opens, and I look to the last person in our group—Bran. “Now we just need Rurik for this to be a real party.”
I haven’t met Rurik yet. Sen tenses in a way that makes me think he’s concerned, yet he remains silent, as do the other vampires.
“Who?” Apollo spits out.
Bran looks over all the fresh meats, veggies and fruit chilling inside the fridge. Along with milk bottles filled with blood that make me squirm. “Rurik is your soulmate.”
Apollo flips him off. “Fuck off. He ain’t my anything.”