Chapter 8
Fever Dream
I sleep for so long that even Vee gets up before me. To be fair, it might have been my apnoea, and that’s a regular occurrence. I roll over and nearly cant right off the edge of the bed. The only thing that stops me from ending up on the plush rug is Vee himself.
“Eurgh, Mum!”
It’s through bleary, grain-filled eyes that I see him sitting cross-legged on the floor with his back against the bed.
His arms are raised over his head, forming a human bedside railing.
It takes me a moment to realise it’s his hands digging into my side before I lurch backwards so I don’t dislocate his little wrists.
I groan at all the aches and pains that light up throughout my body.
Last night I couldn’t bear to sleep in a strange cabin.
I’d snuggled up with Vee instead, something he was a little annoyed and very vocal about.
At some point, the bonnet I’d fashioned out of a spare t-shirt had slipped off my head, abandoning my hair to the manipulations of sleep.
I’d simply been too tired to braid it, and Vee reaches up now to tug on a loose curl.
“Kalo jut,” he trills. Good morning. Well, that catches my attention, and I drag myself to the edge and pop my head over it. His grin is contagious.
“Where did you learn that?”
“I’m not dense,” he scowls.
“I didn’t say that! You just didn’t show any interest when I started learning Surya-Vaani.”
“Dunno. When Dad was building his compound, it seemed like it might be fun to learn,” Vee shrugs. “Do you like my accent? Captain Sekmith says it’s really good for a beginner.”
My heart twists, and I’m suddenly very awake. Pulling myself upright, I swipe a glass of water and down it. Some of it sloshes over the rim as my hand quakes. Then I fold myself up next to him, pulling the duvet along with me and wrapping us both in it.
“Did your dad tell you where you’d be going?”
“Sure. This is only a holiday, right?”
I don’t even know what to say. Purposefully, I don’t think about that flight suit in his wardrobe. I do think about how much school he’ll be missing instead. I’ll have to check if he’s still enrolled with his school, if Dominik bothered to give them an excuse.
“I wasn’t prepared.” I say, forcing a laugh.
Vee frowns, scrunching up his little face. “But you got time off work?”
Fuck. Me. Work. It’s Monday afternoon at home, which means I likely have several missed calls on my slate and quite a few emails.
If I don’t end up fired by the end of this trip, it’ll be a miracle.
TGE is one of the best paying companies in the city, vacancies don’t stay unfulfilled for long, and management has a trigger finger on that recruit button.
“Can you remind me to ask the captain for my slate? Please?” I drag out the last word.
My son, the cheeky bugger, snorts and follows it up with a crooked grin. “You’re always calling me messy, but you’re so disorganised.”
It’s true, but I’m not about to let my 10-year-old get one over on me. I squint at him and purse my lips. “Did Dominik say that about me?”
“Yeah...”
“I have an excuse.” I gesture at the heap of clothes in the corner. “You’re just messy and I’m terrified for your teen years. What else has he been saying to you?”
He makes a non-committal noise, and I knock my shoulder against his. “Hey. What is it?”
A beat passes. Then, in the quietest voice, “Are you getting back together?”
I nearly give myself whiplash, I rear back so fast. “What?” It comes out a squawk.
Vee hasn’t lived in a world where his father and I were a couple, has never seen us be anything more than polite—and that’s stretching the term—towards each other. He’s never shown interest.
“Why would you think that?”
Those wide, green eyes of his shift to meet mine. “Dad said something weird, is all.”
My heart sinks. “What did he say?”
“Just that we would both like Mars.”
Frowning, I try to figure that out. It’s possible Dominik tried to make Vee think I’d meet them in Suryavana—maybe to make the journey less daunting. My stomach clenches.
“I don’t know why your dad would say that, but you know we’re not getting back together, right? Not ever.”
I tried to say it gently, but I needn’t have bothered. His shoulders lower, and he looks visibly relaxed. He literally says, “Phew.”
I burst into laughter. “What do you mean? Most kids want their parents together.”
“No offence, mum, but it would be a disaster.”
“You’re telling me.” Then I cock my head. “Wait, didn’t you say he has a girlfriend?”
Vee rolls his eyes, and he looks so much like Dominik that it renders me speechless for a moment. “He does, but...” He bites his lip. “I don’t think he even really likes her.”
The surprises just keep coming. And what did Dominik mean when he said that Vee and I would both like Mars?
“Are you mad?”
“No, baby, just confused. It’s not a shock that your father confuses me, though, I think.”
He laughs, which never fails to warm my soul. “He always says he doesn’t understand you, too.”
Hmm, he never did, but things were different in the beginning.
I place a sloppy kiss on Vee’s cheek and grin playfully at him. “Did your dad say anything about what we’ll do when we land?”
Vee, evidently growing bored of this conversation as he is wont to do, shrugs again and rolls his head towards the door outside our duvet fort. I strain to hear over the rustling and the background humming of the ship, but nothing stands out to me.
“Hey, don’t feel like you have to stay just because I’m here. I might go back to sleep, actually.” I yawn, and he hesitates.
“Really? Because Captain Sekmith said you had a really stressful night.”
My mouth twitches. “I did, but I feel much better after some rest.”
“Sweet. Thanks, Mum.”
He gets up quickly, but I pull him into a soppy hug before he can fully emerge from our cocoon. “I love you, you know that, right?”
“Yes.” He giggles and squirms.
“At least I didn’t say ‘to the moon and back’.”
“You were thinking it.”
“Also,” I raise my voice as he starts to leave, “don’t think I don’t know you have homework.”
Vee looks aghast. “You’re joking.”
“I am not.”
“We’re in space. We’re flying to Mars, and you want me to do maths?”
“Yes. Do you want to be like your cousin, James?”
I’ve got him there. He huffs, folds his arms, unfolds them, then turns towards the door.
“Fine. I’ll log on later,” he calls over his shoulder as he practically bolts from the cabin. If he’s able to, at least I’ll know he’s still enrolled in school.
I’m laughing as I fall back onto the rug and roll myself in the duvet like a burrito. Eurgh. Captain Sekmith proving much sweeter than my initial impression of her. Last night was really stressful.
At some point, a dull throb began behind my right eye.
I murmur at Kit, hoping she’s programmed to pick up all kinds of volumes.
She informs me I’ve slept almost half the day away.
I wince, rolling onto my face and burrowing into my burrito.
I don’t want to get up. Twin twinges of pain remind me that I still have healing bruises under my eye and across my cheekbone, although they feel better today.
The memory of Tanisira pressed against me lights up my brain.
I feel like a teenager, hiding under the covers, panicking over an almost kiss.
Because it would have been a bad idea. Right?
After showing practically no interest, to just outright ask to kiss me like that?
The captain of Dominik’s godforsaken ship?
But a shiver skates over my skin when I recall the second before Tanisira lowered her head, when her breath washed over me and my stomach just dipped. When confronted with the warmth of her skin, the huskiness of her voice, that dulcet accent...It does strange things to my blood.
And then, as if I conjured her, strong hands roll me onto my back, and I’m suddenly looking into two eyes, streaked with jade and full of bemusement. I sputter and grimace.
Crouched over me, Tanisira quirks an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”
“Peachy,” I say, trying not to let my breathlessness give away the fact that I’d been dipping my toe into a very nice daydream.
“Let’s do the spacewalk.”
Her serious tone does nothing to deter the enthusiasm with which my gaze locks onto that full mouth. I pull myself together a second later because I’m a grown woman, not a teenager.
“Of course.”
Tanisira helps me up, with me groaning the whole way. I’ll have to make a stop at the med bay later today. I go to make Vee’s bed, but she stops me, waving away the task.
“One of the stewards will do it.”
My jaw drops. “There are stewards?”
“Of course there are.”
“Why haven’t I seen any of them?” I ask, incredulous. The Midas is like some kind of black hole, and unless I’m taken to people, I don’t see anyone.
Tanisira pauses before replying. “They’re usually busy doing their jobs. Plus, it’s a skeleton crew.”
My stomach grumbles, and we both look down at it. Still in yesterday’s sweaty, rumpled outfit, I look a hot mess. I should feel embarrassed, maybe, but after giving birth, nothing this inane can embarrass me again.
“Let me shower, get something to eat and then meet you at the airlock.”
My voice tremors but I must sound more confident than I am because she doesn’t question it.
She walks me to my cabin two doors down—which makes me rethink my previous statement—and I try not to be weird as we pass the spot where she nearly kissed me.
Glancing at Tanisira doesn’t tell me anything about how she feels about it; she doesn’t even look at me.
That stings, but I push it to the back of my mind. She probably thinks it was a mistake. Fine. We’re in agreement, then.