Chapter 26
Morning Fawn’s mouth dropped open. “What?”
Devon jumped to his feet. “I can’t talk about this anymore.”
“No. Wait.”
But he’d already started through the arch and down the path toward the back garden gate.
She stood. What could she say? She’d never been good at comforting others.
She had failed miserably when her adopted brother died five years ago.
She’d hidden her tears and kept silent. Her pia and her ahpu must have thought she didn’t care.
It’d created a wall that had been slow in coming down.
She could not let the man she loved go off with his raw hurt now. “Devon.”
She ran. The hard leather of her shoes gritted into her wounds like a saw.
He reached for the gate latch.
She slapped her hand on top of it first, half stumbling against the stone wall.
He glared at her in the dark. Not even the shrouded moon could fail to reveal the pain raging in his moisture-laden eye.
“It’s not your fault.” Her voice shook. Words pushed themselves out of her heart. “Isabelle loved you. She wouldn’t want you carrying this burden. I’m certain of it.”
He swiped his nose and stared at her in stony silence.
She touched his sleeve. “I know what it’s like to hurt someone you love and feel like you don’t deserve anything.”
“You do?” His voice dipped.
“More than I want to know.” Her throat clogged.
Dare she say more? But the words, locked away for so long, spilled out.
“In the months after I was captured by the Comanche, I watched my sister…be beaten and starved. And said nothing. I…I tried to sneak her food a couple of times. But I was afraid they’d see I belonged with her and treat me the same.
I deserted her…” She wadded the wool of his jacket in her fist.
“You were a child.”
“I could have done more. I was a coward.” Laid bare, she longed to lower her head. Instead, she looked into the face of the man who needed her. “I didn’t mean to start talking about me. I just want you to know I understand.”
He slipped his palm beneath her jaw, his gaze piercing deep within her soul. “Maybe you were a scared little girl once, but the woman I see before me is a warrior who’d risk her life for her sister or anyone else she cares about. She’d take on the whole tribe to do so.”
Tears trickled down her cheeks. “And I see a man of courage and honor who loved his wife with everything he had.”
A breath shuddered through him. He yanked off his patch.
She gasped. His eye appeared whole, not injured.
His arms locked around her, sweeping her away from the precipice of the past and bathing her in warmth. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and tightened her arms around him as he pressed his cheek to her head, his grief dampening her hair, even as hers wet his jacket.
Cradling her close, he nudged her to sit against the ancient Osage orange tree and held her. For how long? It didn’t matter. She never wanted to uncurl from the cocoon of his side. She had never felt so loved.
He whispered against her hair, “I haven’t looked at a woman in three years.
Then I came here, and from day one, I could hardly think of anything or anyone but you…
” He stroked her cheek. “I’m afraid I’ve…
fallen for you. And the last thing in this world I want to do is hurt you. My mission is dangerous. I might not—”
She pressed her fingers to his lips. “Hush. You’re going to come out fine. You’re going to complete your mission and take me away.” She smiled. “And I’m so thankful your eye is all right.”
“Part of my cover. An excuse for not returning to my regiment and a reason to seek out Dr. Schramm.” He brushed his thumb over her shoulder. “I’ll do everything in my power to look after you and protect you. I’m going to get you out of here.”
She nuzzled deeper and squeezed his side where her arm rested across his chest. “I want to be with you, wherever that is.” She was in love, and she was loved. Nothing else mattered, not even the land her uncle had promised.
He cuddled her closer. “My intention, Warrior Girl, is to get you and me to Brownsville. We probably won’t go together or even at the same time. I have the mission to complete first. But when we get there, I plan to court you.”
Court? She’d marry him next week if he asked her. But she pressed her lips tight. Best keep her mouth shut. There was no guarantee he was ready to hear he was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
“I don’t know what your mission is yet.”
“It’s best you don’t. That way, if you’re caught—”
“I’d never breathe a word to them. I grew up Comanche. I know what torture is.”
He stiffened and nudged her gaze up to his.
“I don’t plan to give them a reason to torture you.
” His brow furrowed deep. “Besides, they wouldn’t torture a woman.
Might let her go hungry and put her in filthy quarters.
” His Adam’s apple dipped.. “You’d best know what you’ve gotten yourself into.
If they think you’re part of it, you could go to prison, even face the… gallows.”
“Same as you.”
“Unacceptable.” He sat up straight. “I’m going to speak with my contact. I have a meeting in a few days. I’ll see about arranging for you to be smuggled to the coast as soon as possible.”
“You can talk to your contact all you want, but I’m not leaving until you do.”
No more embrace. His hands dropped away. “After everything I told you about Isabelle, you think I’m going to allow you to stay in harm’s way?”
“I notice that Isabelle wasn’t back in some town or plantation waiting for you.
She loved you. She was there at the fort, with you as much as she could be.
And I bet if you could ask her, she wouldn’t have done it any differently.
I’m not some parlor maiden sitting around worrying about which color of flowers to put in my garden or what pattern to embroider for my hope chest. You said it yourself. I’m a fighter.”
A chuckle. “That much is true.”
“Besides, do you think I’m going to cower down in Brownsville, wherever that might be, while Miss Perfect is here risking her life with you?” The very thought had her off the ground and her hand on her hip.
He scowled. “Have you ever heard of the word obstinate? It’s you. Stubborn, hard-headed, in woeful need of learning to accept orders and direction.”
She folded her arms.
He shoved his fingers through his hair. “And for your information, Frieda is risking her life for the Union, not for me. This mission is about saving the lives of soldiers. Impeding the cotton trade so the Rebs have less money for ammunition, guns, and other supplies.”
“I’m guessing impeding means to stop or slow down. If that’s the case, I’m volunteering. The Rebs haven’t done me any favors. And I think about as much of slavery as I do manure.”
He shook his head. “I knew you’d be like this.
You’d either stomp off and want nothing to do with it or insist on being right there in the middle.
” He jabbed his finger at her. “Let me tell you something, Miss Warrior Girl. You’re having no part of anything until you can convince me you know how to follow orders. This is a military operation.”
A smile broke across her face. She latched onto his sleeve. “I’ll listen. I promise. Just as long as you let me have a part and don’t send me away.”
His gaze fell into hers. “It’ll take more than words, Taa Aruka.” His voice dipped low. “And the first time you don’t listen, you’re going to be on the road to the coast even if I have to hog-tie you and gag you like I did back on the Brazos.”
“If I don’t listen, you have my permission to send me off.” She clasped her hands behind her. Her shawl slipped to her elbows, the ends dragging against the exposed tree roots.
“You can count on it.” He tugged the finely woven garment upward. His fingertips slid along her arms, spreading goosebumps over her limbs as he returned the shawl to its rightful place.
“And let’s get one thing straight.” He planted his hands on her shoulders.
“You’re not coming with me the night we strike.
And we doesn’t mean Frieda. She’s under orders to be at her home, ready to flee if needed.
Your assignment, as much as it sours my stomach, will be to distract Moyer.
” As tolerable as sticking cactus needles in his eyes.
“If you care about my life and our future, you’ll listen.
I can’t think of anything that would put me in jeopardy more than having you there at the depot or warehouse because my attention would be split between carrying out the mission and keeping you safe. ”
His hands fell away. “And I don’t know how you think courting works, but it usually involves listening and waiting. You waiting for me to call on you to take you for a walk, or visit in a parlor, maybe go riding, come pick you up for church, come by your place for dinner.”
She quirked her mouth and gazed up at him. “I don’t know if I see that.”
“What?”
“Me waiting around like that.” She swung her arms at her sides. “Besides, what are you going to wait for?”
His eyes glistened in the dark. “To kiss you.”
“You’re going to wait for that?”
A smile lit his lips. “No.” He reached inside his collar, yanked a chain over his head, a locket in tow, and stuffed it in his pocket. His eyes shone as he took her in his arms.
Her heart thudded.
His mouth lowered to hers. His breath tickled her lips. “I’m allowed an impetuous streak now and then too.”
Her eyes fluttered closed, and her lips parted. Please. Please. Please.
She melted against him as his lips brushed hers. Her hands swept over his shoulders, and her fingers locked around the back of his neck.
His arms tightened, and he cradled her head as he deepened the kiss, flooding her with a wave of warmth that washed past hurts beyond the horizon.