61. Lily
61
Lily
I was almost dancing inside , drunk on excitement. I had been ever since I’d heard Bull say it—or nearly say it. He loves me!
I couldn’t let him say it. Not then. As soon as I’d realized what he was going to say, I’d known it in my heart.
I loved him, too.
But I couldn’t let him say it. Not when I was lying to him about everything in my past—who I was, what I was scared of. It wasn’t right.
I realized now that I’d been stalling all along. Now I had to make a decision. I owed him that. I had to end this thing now...or tell him everything and risk the consequences.
Back at the bus, I went down to the bathroom, ran a deep, hot bath, and slowly sank into it.
Bull was the best thing that had ever happened to me. He’d pursued me even when I’d pushed him away. He’d battled through even when I was hard work, as he’d put it. And the things he did to my body reduced me to a hot ball of goo every single time. He was exactly what I needed: solid as a rock, when my whole life was a paper-thin mess of lies and fakery.
He’d given so much of himself. Now it was time to give something back in return.
I lay back, submerging everything except my nose.
If I really wanted him, if I wanted this thing to be real the way he was real, I had to be totally honest with him.
I thought about it for a long time. And then, underwater, I gave a nervous smile.
I was going to tell him the truth.
I sat up and climbed out of the bath. The hell with tomorrow. Now that I’d made my decision, I was bursting with excitement. I’d get dressed, dry my hair, and call Bull. And, if he was in, I’d head over there and tell him right now.