Chapter 27 #2
It still didn’t provide any answers except Austin knew about the photo of him on the front of the paper.
Kitt looked down at the magazine again. He didn’t know exactly when it had been taken, but the entire right side of his body was bare and he was standing at the front door of his cabin.
If it was possible, even more heat rushed to his cheeks and he looked up again at Sam.
“When was this taken?” The caption on the tabloid was clear: Austin Grainger’s Cowboy Lover Cheating, Up Close and Personal.
“When we first moved in. There’s more inside. It was the night the guy driving the sports car came. Austin had us delete the photos. I don’t know how they got them.”
“Austin’s email,” Kitt said. He thumbed the paper like it was a noose he was slipping around his neck.
A nude picture was humiliating enough, but if Sean was in there, Kitt was completely outed.
It took a second, and his hands started to shake as shame hit him hard.
It was right there for everyone to see, Kitt bent down to kiss Sean who sat inside his car.
Dread filled his soul as his now numb heart allowed him to toss the tabloid to the ground.
“Where did Austin go?” Fear set in, making him grow cold inside. Kitt was completely shamed for the entire world to see.
“He wants you to call him to explain.” The guard handed Kitt a cell phone to use.
“No, you explain it to me.” The famous Kelly anger spoke for Kitt. The anger he’d tried most of his life to hide now became the most dominant emotion pouring through him. It would make Kitt unreasonable and unstable, but would definitely replace the hurt coursing through every vein in his body.
“I don’t know all the details, sir.”
Mike said, “Cara’s at the house with Lily and the girls.
She’s been there since Austin asked her to come out last night.
I’m gatherin’ Austin thought if he spoke first it would take the focus off you.
He’s gone to New York, I think.” Mike said it quickly and efficiently.
He’d been Kitt’s friend too long, he knew how Kitt worked.
“There was no clear evidence the email account was Austin’s.
They were trying to flush him out through you.
He wasn’t going to let you go like his PR team wanted him to do.
I was on the call, Mr. Kelly. He drew the attention off you.
This isn’t the big news of the day, as bad as this looks.
” Sam pointed to the tabloid now lying on the ground.
“It’s all about Austin Grainger being gay.
He made the announcement last night before this was printed.
We have a man waiting at the bend, making sure we’re clear. We need to get you home, sir.”
Kitt didn’t hesitate. He kicked his mount into action and moved quickly toward home.
The anger didn’t abate, nor did the firm set of his jaw relax.
This was the very worst thing that could have happened to him.
Nothing compared to this, and to top it off, Austin planned to leave.
He was giving Kitt everything. Kitt had allowed his heart to become involved while it was always just as he’d thought: he was a kept man.
Austin was giving him the land, the horses, everything.
They weren’t partners. Kitt was a plaything, and yet, he’d fallen in love with Austin.
Kitt loved him so completely that at this moment it wasn’t the fear of what was to come, but the fact that Austin planned to leave that made him drive his mount harder, barreling toward home.
Fuck whoever was there. Fuck everything. Kitt had lost it all.
=?=
Three hours later, Kitt finally shut the door to his cabin.
Fatigue from the trip meant he was too tired to do anything.
That, and the knowledge Lily and his sisters were okay.
When he’d walked into the main house, Lily grabbed him up, hugging him tight.
So did Kylie, but Bryanne wasn’t quite as receptive.
She was angry. Her date for the night was cancelled because they were on lockdown.
It made her so angry and he could see some of that fired-up Kelly temper in her.
She didn’t care whether Kitt was gay, straight, or dropped off the edge of a cliff, it was all about her.
Cara had been kind. She’d tried to explain what she knew of the situation, but Kitt didn’t want to hear any of it.
He stayed quiet, turning into himself. If he didn’t want to hear any of it, he wanted to say even less.
From the front windows of the main house Kitt saw several news station vans from Dallas and Austin out front.
He’d been told Austin’s gate swarmed with them.
Several had snuck around back. All of Austin’s security resources were here and focused on the two farms.
Kitt returned to his cabin, pleading exhaustion.
He needed time alone. He picked up his phone charging on the nightstand.
He had thirty-three missed calls, all from Austin.
He silenced it and laid it back on the nightstand, ignoring it and his heart’s need to hear Austin’s voice.
It took him a minute to rationalize the rudeness of his action, but then he remembered the voice mail.
If his heart needed to hear Austin, he could play the message Austin left earlier.
The one where Austin told him he was leaving, giving him everything.
The exact one where Austin somehow managed to make this so much worse in those few short sentences.
Yeah, when Kitt missed Austin and needed to hear his voice, that’s what he would play, reminding himself of what an idiot he’d been.
For now, Kitt decided on food and then sleep and then a plan, all in that order. At some point in the near future he’d have to turn on a TV, get a good grip on what was happening, and where he stood, but not now. Kitt was too hurt to do much more than exist.
Kitt stood in front of the microwave warming the plate of food Lily sent over when his front door burst open.
It wasn’t the quiet, stick-your-head-in-the-door, are-you-home kind of greeting.
It was a solid shove open, slam against the wall.
Kitt turned quickly reaching for his rifle, chastising himself for not locking the door in a situation like this.
But, as he turned his eyes to see who had come in, he found Austin standing in the doorframe.
The sun shone in around him. For a minute, they just stared at one another.
Kitt was completely taken off guard by the angel standing in his doorway.
Okay, he needed to amend that, the angry angel standing in the doorway.
Kitt turned his back on him to pull the hot plate from the microwave, carrying it carefully to his kitchen table.
He did it all just to hide his runaway heart, and the emotion at seeing Austin in his house.
Kitt was in survival mode. Instinctively, he calmed and began working with his hands.
He didn’t say a word to Austin as his heart hammered in his chest. Where was that damn anger when he needed it to help him get through situations like these?
“You can’t pick up your phone to let me know you’re okay?” Austin glared at Kitt who purposefully ignored him. Relief flooded Kitt as he felt the first stirrings of anger building back up. It would help stamp out some of this intense hurt. Maybe even help him not cry in front of Austin.
Kitt stalked back the few steps to the kitchen counter and grabbed a water bottle, silverware, and a napkin and took a seat at the table. Suddenly, he was no longer hungry. Austin always fucked him up.
“I had to call Mike to find out you made it back. Cara said she talked to you. You couldn’t answer any of my calls?
” Austin asked again when Kitt ignored him.
The palm of Austin’s hand slapped down hard on the table, jostling the plate.
That caught Kitt’s attention. The anger licked at his soul, and his eyes cut up to Austin’s.
“I’m ruined, but you should know that. What else do you want me to say? Thanks for my land back?”
“You aren’t ruined. I can take care of us if you’d get that through your thick skull.
What was I supposed to do, let them run those pictures of you, then hide?
Let you take the brunt of it all? Fuck no, I wasn’t gonna let that happen.
I love you. I love you so goddamn much. I meant every fuckin’ thing I said on Late Show.
You’re everything to me.” There was so much anger in the way Austin said it, he looked like he might burst into flames at any given moment.
“You told me there were photos of Sean, never of me nude, or of Sean and me kissin’.
You said they were deleted. How many more are there of me like that?
Is the price of the photo my fuckin’ land back?
” Kitt demanded an honest answer. He’d shoved his plate of food away and gripped the sides of the small table.
Kitt fought the need to tackle Austin who stood there indignant over something as simple as Kitt not answering the phone.
“That was my fault. I told you that,” Austin said, but Kitt’s words had him taking a step back.
Finally, it was about something other than him not answering a fucking phone.
“I only took the pictures that one time. I had them deleted, all but the ones on my computer. You were so hot, so beautiful. You turned me on so much…I wanted you badly. I didn’t delete them.
I’m sorry, I should have, but I love those pictures so much.
” All the anger left Austin’s face, and now, he was moving around the table toward Kitt who quickly moved around the table the other direction.
“So they found the pictures by what, hackin’ your computer?” Kitt asked with the table between them. He grabbed a hold of his anger and held it in place. It was the only thing that would get him through the next few minutes.
“Please don’t move away from me. I haven’t slept in days. Kitt, I’m sorry. I can take care of us until the horses are ready to compete. I ruined everything, but I can take care of us. I can take care of Lily and the girls. Please let me do it.” They circled the table as Austin talked to Kitt.
“I thought you were leavin’? You said I could have it all,” Kitt fired back.
“If you don’t want me anymore, if I ruined us, I’ll leave you everything.
I’ll still take care of you and the girls.
I promise, but damn it, please stop moving away from me, Kitt.
And stop toying with my fucking heart. How badly have I fucked this up?
” Austin stood at the head of the table as Kitt moved out of the small kitchen to the far side of the living room, placing the coffee table between them.
“You look all Hollywood again,” Kitt said instead of answering Austin.
The answer was so clear inside Kitt. His heart sang because nothing was as bad as Austin leaving him.
He’d let the world run over him as long as Austin gave him the time of day.
Austin followed him, stepping up onto the coffee table and over it to move closer as Kitt backed away.
Austin wisely stayed a foot away from Kitt backing him toward the bedroom.
“It’s because I hit the circuit again. I thought if I got it out there before the sleazy tabloids, I could spin it in the right direction.
My PR firm says the focus groups are thirty-two to one in our favor.
I couldn’t stop the pictures, Kitt. I wanted to file injunctions, but I didn’t have time.
All I knew to do was to bring it out. Tell the world I love you.
” Austin’s voice cracked a little at that.
Kitt stopped, staying very still. Austin gave him time to digest it all.
“You said that on the Late Show?” Kitt asked. He crossed his arms over his chest trying to hold his heart together.
“And Good Morning America. Haven’t you seen the television today? It’s being played over and over.” Austin took a small step toward Kitt, but right before they touched, he pivoted on his heels, stalking out the front door. He was back in a minute, laptop in hand. Kitt still hadn’t moved.
“I have it on my laptop. Please sit down. Watch what I did. Please.” Austin set the computer on the kitchen table and pulled up a file.
Kitt could hear Donnie Cliffs’s voice announce Austin, and the cheers erupting from the audience.
Austin shoved out a chair and Kitt came forward to take it.
He watched the screen closely, his arms still crossed securely over his chest so he wouldn’t reach out to Austin.
It was an emotional experience to see the man he loved beyond reason, turn back into actor mode.
Austin looked so handsome up on that stage, and stayed calm, cool, and collected during the entire interview.
Even when he took questions from the audience, something Kitt had never seen on Late Show before.
The last question from the audience to Austin was, “What made you finally come out?” Austin didn’t hesitate, he never looked away, he just stared at the woman and answered easily, “When you find the person you know you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with, things that mattered before him just don’t matter anymore.
I’ve been gay my whole life, Kitt makes me okay with it.
Actually, he makes me proud to be gay because I get to spend the rest of my life with a man as good as he is. ”
Kitt let himself reach his hand over and take Austin’s who stood beside him as the video played. It took a moment longer for him to look up at Austin because tears were swimming in his eyes. “Did you mean it, or was that the actor talkin’?” Kitt asked.
“I meant every single word.” Austin gripped Kitt’s hand tighter and dropped down to his knee to be closer to Kitt’s level. “Tell me I didn’t ruin it between us. Tell me we’re gonna be okay. I can handle any of this if I didn’t lose you.”
“No more pictures,” Kitt said.
“No more pictures.” Austin nodded.
“I love you like that, too.” Kitt looked deep in Austin’s eyes. Austin reached in to kiss Kitt’s parted lips.
“I don’t ever want to lose you. I was so afraid.” Austin’s voice broke again as he pulled Kitt to him.