Chapter 28 #5
Kitt followed Austin up the steps, lifting the lid to the shoe box.
It was too dark to see much, but he could make out some old photographs of his dad.
As Austin opened the back door, the images struck Kitt hard, causing him to stumble a bit as he walked inside.
Austin went through the living room, turning on the lights, and Kitt shuffled a hand inside the box, moving the contents around.
There were photos of his dad as a younger man, even before Kitt was born.
Kitt dumped everything from the box on the table.
There were so many pictures of his dad and Verne together, taken like they were on vacation.
They posed at different monuments and state signs, arm in arm.
There were also letters, all bound together with a rubber band.
Kitt’s heart began to pound as he realized what he held.
He looked up at Austin who’d sat down at the table, just watching him.
Kitt collapsed onto the chair, pulled the rubber band free, and opened the first letter.
It was a love letter to Verne from his dad.
Hours passed by as Kitt read each letter.
They were full of emotion, of love, of everything his dad had felt for Verne, and all the wishes he’d had, that someday they could be a real couple.
Kitt’s father had been gay. As he and Austin sat at the table, Kitt read everything, seeking out the photos that matched each letter’s date.
Kitt let Austin look at every one before he put them together in chronological order.
Apparently, his dad had met Verne in high school.
They’d been lovers since the beginning; Verne had been his dad’s first lover.
Through the letters, Kitt learned his dad’s history.
The battles he’d had with his family. His dad had paid Kitt’s mom to be his wife.
She’d been young and poor, just a pawn to him, much like Lily must have been.
They’d both been too young and in too much need to know better.
Both Kitt’s mom and Lily had been there to help his father hide and keep his standing in the community.
For the forty years Verne and his father were together, Verne had broken up with his father more than once, needing more of a commitment.
And his dad had promised Verne the farm if anything happened to him.
It was right here in black and white. His dad hadn’t had a proper will when he died, just something he’d scribbled down a long time ago on a piece of paper to their family attorney.
Verne could have fought it and won, but he’d have to bring forward a relationship no one had known about.
Verne didn’t fight Kitt in court, keeping his father’s secret. Instead of battling it out in public, Verne fought him every day until Kitt had no choice but to fire him. Kitt hadn’t known all that aggression stemmed from Verne being a grieving lover, deeply in love with his father.
Austin stayed quiet, making coffee, keeping Kitt’s cup filled well into the night.
Neither of them said much. Some of the letters his dad had sent before he died showed he feared Kitt was gay and hiding.
His father talked about trying to beat it out of him, not wanting Kitt to live a life of lies like he had.
With the letters spread out across the table, along with the photos, Kitt looked across the table at them all, then at Austin.
“I never knew him.” Kitt felt small, insignificant. This one hurt Kitt.
“He never let you know him.”
“But that’s what I’ve been doing, too, the one thing I never wanted to do… I’m living my father’s life.”
“Not anymore. You broke free where your father didn’t have the nerve to.” Austin pulled his chair right next to Kitt. Austin took Kitt’s hand and brought it up to kiss his palm.
“It’s only because of you that I’m out. I didn’t do it on my own.”
“That’s not true. You went out tonight. You didn’t have to, but you did.”
“My dad died a bitter, angry old man, and it was because of this. He could never be with the man he loved. That would have happened to me if I hadn’t met you.” Kitt turned in his seat to face Austin, threading their fingers together.
“It would have happened to me too, but I met you.” Austin tightened his hold on Kitt’s hand and leaned forward for another light kiss. They sat there a minute more until Kitt turned and carefully placed everything back together inside the box before putting the lid back on it.
“I don’t think Lily or my sisters should ever know about this. We need to keep this hidden.” Kitt nodded to confirm his decision. “We need to find a safe place for this.”
“I like the we part of that.”
“No more hidin’.” Kitt nodded again. The beer he’d drunk, and the emotion pouring through had him a bit frazzled. Austin smiled at him and came in for another kiss.
“Agreed, no more hiding. Now, come to bed. You have to be exhausted.” Austin pulled Kitt back to their bedroom.
“I love you, Austin.” Kitt followed behind him, bringing the box with him. No chance he wanted it left out.
“I love you, too, baby.”