Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
MAYA
I t was a few days after we’d seen the band, and I still couldn’t get Texas off my mind. No longer were my thoughts based on friendship. That night at the pub, I had wanted to kiss him, and when I’d seen that woman looking at him like he was a juicy piece of meat, I couldn’t stop myself from ending it.
He wasn’t for her.
Though, at the time, and for a slight moment, I’d regretted my decision, so I’d asked Texas if I’d been interrupting. When he’d told me no, smugness rolled through me, and I’d wanted to hug him, kiss him, show her that he wasn’t interested in anyone but me.
The only downside to the night was that I was positive Texas knew I’d lied about Easton wanting to come to see the band and how I’d been worried. But I’d panicked in the car, and that had been the first thing that popped into my mind, since earlier that day, I had actually chatted to Easton over the phone.
The truth was something I couldn’t let Texas know, too nervous knowing he had feelings for me. Now, it was as if I no longer knew how to act around him when we were alone.
It didn’t help that my own heart had started to cling to him again.
We spoke every day.
Sometimes more than once.
Those emotions for Texas I’d buried long ago had surfaced, and I was close to drowning in them. Now I wanted… things , intimate things , and I couldn’t stop picturing them. What also didn’t help was when we’d been alone in the car that night.
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I groaned and made my way into the kitchen.
“What are you moaning about?” Mum asked. “Also, I’ve just made a pot of coffee if you want one.”
“I’m good, thanks, and nothing’s wrong.”
Her brows rose as she took a sip.
“Seriously, I’m fine.” My steps faltered when it dawned on me. I was doing better. That night and John’s death would always be in the back of my mind, but for once—and I wasn’t sure how long it had been this way—the reminder of everything hadn’t been at the forefront.
I wasn’t sure if I liked that.
Guilt started to creep in.
“Maya?”
“Shouldn’t I still be crippled from what happened? Losing John was gut-wrenching. How could I actually be happy?”
“Sweetie,” Mum whispered. She put her mug down and came to me, sliding her hands down my arms. “Do you think I should live in the past and remember everything that’s happened to the family?”
Tears formed in my eyes, but I shook my head.
“There is nothing wrong in finding happiness again. That pain will always live inside you, and you’ll carry it for the rest of your life, but it’s okay to keep living. To laugh, to smile, and love. You can’t tell me John wouldn’t want that for you.”
“Your momma’s right, child.”
With a startled jump, I spun around to see Dad and Moreen standing just inside the kitchen.
The tears fell. “Moreen.”
“Hush, sweet girl,” she ordered, and made her way over to where she took both my hands in hers. “Do you think my John would want me to pine for him for months or even years?”
“No,” I uttered.
“That’s right. We’ve had many, many sad days, Maya. But it’s been a couple of months since it happened. We learn to live with that sadness in the back of our minds and hearts. John would want us both to live life. Don’t you go feeling guilty, you hear me?”
“Yes, Moreen.”
“Good.” She let go of my hands and went over to the counter to tap it. “Now, your momma promised me some cake, and I’m not seeing it yet.”
Smiling softly, I glanced at Mum, who wiped at her eyes and let out a laugh. “It’s in the fridge. The others should be here shortly.”
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Just a get-together.”
Dad snorted. “A gossip session. That means I’m outta here.”
“Honey, you don’t need to rush off,” Mum said.
He went to her and gave her a kiss that had Moreen catcalling. Dad pulled back with a smirk. “I’m headin’ to the compound.”
“All righty,” Mum said softly, staring in a daze up at him. Dad’s smirk grew into a grin. She blinked and watched him leave after he said a quick goodbye to Moreen and me. Her gaze then turned to me. “Sweetie, I would have told you, but I thought you’d be busy with Texas.”
“Texas? Who’s this boy?” Moreen asked.
I scoffed, answering Mum, “It’s not like we see each other all the time.”
Mum told Moreen, “Texas is a member of Hawks. Just a bit older than Maya. They’re friends.”
“With benefits?”
I choked on my saliva. “Moreen, no.”
She studied me. “But you want it to be.”
That didn’t sound like a question.
“I do not,” I stated.
She rolled her eyes. “Child, it’s as clear as day you’re into this guy.”
Sighing, I dropped my head back, eyes on the ceiling. When I looked back at her, I asked, “How is it so damn obvious?” Did Texas know? If he did, why hadn’t he made a move?
“Just talking about him, your eyes get this soft look, and you get red in the cheeks. This is good, girl. John used to always say how he’d worry you weren’t spending enough time socialising to meet someone. He worried you wouldn’t find a love that burns bright like ours does.” Her eyes glistened. “Now he’s looking down, and I know he’s not worried about you anymore.”
“Moreen,” I whispered.
“Come hug me and go see your beau.”
“He’s not my beau.”
“Yet,” Mum added.
“I…. Okay, maybe yet.”
They both beamed.
“Come here, girl.” Moreen opened her arms. I walked over and into them and they wrapped around me, like mine did her. “Be happy.”
“I will.”
“Good. Now go to your beau. I’m sure he can put a bigger smile on your face.”
Mum giggled off to the side.
“I can’t go see him. We’re not dating, and it’s not like he’s asked me over.”
“Pish-posh. You don’t need an invite. If the boy’s into you, he’ll be thrilled to see you rock up without an invite.”
“He’s into her,” Mum supplied. “Big time.”
“Mum,” I cried with a groan.
“What? He is.”
“Yes, but knowing it freaks me out, and I’ll just get nervous.”
Moreen nodded. “That’s good. Tells me he means a lot to you. I’m sure he feels the same way.”
I scoffed. “He’s always cool, calm, and collected.”
“Whatever he is, I’m sure he’d love a drop-by from you,” Moreen said again.
Thinning my lips, I glanced to the side and scratched my cheek. Could she be right? Would Texas like me to just stop by? “I don’t know. He could still be working.”
“What’s he do?” Moreen asked.
“He’s a tattooist.”
“Ooh-wee, he already sounds hot. You got a photo to show me?”
I did. Texas and I sometimes sent photos in Snapchat, and I may have had them saved.
Taking out my phone, I unlocked it and brought one up before I turned the screen her way.
“Oh Lord.” She clutched at her chest. “He is so hot, it’s a sin.” She snatched the phone from my hand and brought it closer to her face. “Those tats, that body, those eyes, that mouth, that goatee and ’stash. Even the bling he wears suits him. You snap him up, Maya Marcus.”
Laughing, I shrugged. “I’ll see.”
Moreen snorted and met Mum’s gaze. “Tell your girl to get out of here.”
“Sweetie, do you want to see Texas?”
“Texas—did I mention his name is fine as well?” Moreen asked.
Smiling, I shook my head. But did I want to see him? “Yes, I do.”
“Then take a chance and go drop by his place. If he’s working, say you’ll come back another time.”
Straightening, I ran my hands down my tee and nodded. “Okay, I’m doing it.” I nodded again.
“It’s like she’s getting ready for a big event,” Moreen said.
“I am,” I told her. “This is big—me dropping by his place.” Well, to me it was. At least, I thought it was, because it showed him I wanted his time. Didn’t it?
Oh God, I was going to be sick.
“Stop overthinking things, girl. Just do it.”
“Right. Okay. I will.”
A knock rattled the front door before it opened, and Deanna yelled, “Party, bitches.”
Footsteps sounded down the hallway, and then Deanna, Ivy, Malinda, and Clary entered the room.
“What’s going on?” Malinda asked.
“Just girl talk,” Mum quickly said before Moreen could.
“I’m heading out. Have a good afternoon,” I said with a smile.
“Where are you going?” Deanna asked.
“Out and about.” I went to walk by her, but she grabbed my wrist.
“I was there when you were brought into the world. I know when something’s going on. Tell Aunty Deanna all about it.”
“Really, it’s nothing. I’m just going to see a friend.”
Her face brightened. “Texas?”
The others who had been greeting Mum and Moreen stopped talking and turned to us.
“Uh, yeah, well, we are friends.”
“With benefits?” Ivy asked. “Not that you need to tell us. Really, we should mind our own business and know Maya will come to any of us if she wants to talk. But just so you know, Maya, we are here, any of us, if you need to chat about boy problems. God only knows we’ve had our fair share. I mean, have you seen our men?” She cackled. “Of course you have. But—”
“Dear Lord, get this woman a drink,” Moreen put in.
The others laughed.
Ivy smiled. “I tend to ramble in awkward situations.” She met my gaze. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured, like you have to tell us anything.”
“I know, and thank you. I am going to see Texas, and for now, we are only friends.”
“For now?” Clary said.
“Yes. I think. I don’t know. It’s all scary.”
“Ha,” Malinda blurted. “We know that feeling. Just go with it.”
Smiling, I nodded. “I will. Okay, I’m off.”
“She’s not moving,” Moreen pointed out.
Deanna spun me around and shoved me towards the hall. “Get.”
“Thanks,” I called back, and made my way outside with my heart in my throat.
Why did I seriously feel this was a big step towards something huge?