Chapter 6
CHAPTER 6
PIPER
Piper: I haven’t given it a thorough thought.
I type this, looking across the office to make sure Milo won’t catch me.
Technically, I’m working, but I’m also sort of abusing my privileges and my connection to Logan by going straight to him with ideas.
Piper: I’d happily look into it and send you something via email, but I think we should link up with Milo, too.
Logan: We’ll do that. How would you feel about taking on a more varied role within the company?
Piper: I’ve only just started this one. I don’t want to get any special treatment.
Logan: But it wouldn’t be special treatment. It would be you bravely traveling west on Route 66, searching for a better life, leaving the past behind you and forgetting it exists. It would be you finding your sunny place.
His words touch me on a level I don’t want to acknowledge. He’s talking about the plot of Grapes of Wrath . When I learned that it was his favorite novel, I almost overreacted, almost freaked. It’s a symbol of our similar attitude to life.
But he shot me down with the nickname. I need to shoot him down with this.
Piper: Let’s just hope it doesn’t end with me being in a barn, breastfeeding a stranger.
Logan: LOL!
His instant reply makes me grin, and I realize I’m eagerly awaiting his next message as the three dots tell me he’s typing.
Logan: I’m at The Clam, and that just made half the restaurant turn at the sound of me laughing. I haven’t laughed like that in a long time. Don’t worry. Breastfeeding strangers isn’t part of the job description.
I wish I could’ve been there to hear him laugh in such a carefree way. For as long as I can remember, Logan has been a grump. He hasn’t been depressing, exactly, but he’s never been the ‘happy-go-lucky’ type, either. He’s always seemed haunted, probably by his childhood.
Piper: The book is beautiful. But also strange.
Logan: Maybe there’s nothing wrong with being beautiful and a little strange.
Are we still talking about books? My body tingles with anticipation, misplaced desires, and thoughts I shouldn’t be thinking.
Feeling as if I’m giving him a coded message, I type out another message.
Piper: It probably says something about us that our favorite book is about people seeking a better life, going through hardships to get there, only to be disappointed at the end.
Translation: if we’re flirting, bonding, or tempted, we need to stop. It can only end in disaster.
Logan: The book is an inspiration for life, not a step-by-step manual. And don’t forget, the characters don’t quit at the end of the novel. They keep going. They take the next step.
What is he trying to say? That we should take the next step in this hidden, unacknowledged romance?
Piper: For the record, I also like feel-good romantic comedy books. I’m not a complete downer.
Logan: Nobody could ever call you that, Piper. When you were a kid, Elliot used to call you Sunny Smiles, remember? You always had a smile on your face. In fact, so did he. Maybe you learned it from him.
Ouch. Reading this is like a slap in the face, even if it shouldn’t be.
Is he trying to warn me to get back in line and remember this is an employee-employer relationship? Or am I reading too much into his every little word?
It’s not exactly a bad thing for him to remind me of my brother, though, even if I shouldn’t need reminding. It makes me feel like a traitor whenever I let this shivering feeling course through me. Each time, my body throbs and tingles dance over me, making me press my legs together, pleasure tempting a future that can never exist.
I need to keep my focus on work.
Piper: Do you think I should talk to Milo about the idea?
Logan: Yes, do that. Then, we will have a meeting to discuss the details.
Piper: Honestly, I don’t know how to go about it. I don’t want to seem like I can’t do this job. It’s just that I don’t have much experience with office politics. Isn’t he going to be annoyed that I went behind his back with this idea?
Logan: Maybe tell him you mentioned it casually when we were with Elliot. You can say that I seemed interested, but you wanted to talk to him before you made anything official.
Piper: Isn’t that dishonest?
Logan:
When he sends me the laughing emoji, my cheeks heat up, and my hand curls into an involuntary fist. I don’t want him to laugh at me; I don’t want him to think of me as na?ve or immature. Living a childhood like mine, a girl grows up fast.
But I did ask for his advice, so can I really blame him for that? And again, I might be reading too much into his message, seeing phantoms that aren’t there. Guilt stains every interaction and warps it, making my head spin.
Piper: Is something funny, Mr. Wolfe?
Logan: I feel I’ve offended you.
Piper: You seem pretty confident you can read my moods through texting.
Logan: It’s the ‘Mr. Wolfe’, Piper. We’ve known each other too long for you to call me that.
I clench my jaw. Well, actually, my jaw clenches by itself. That’s his magic power, the handsome jerk. He makes my body do things without it choosing to. He makes me hot and tense at the same time.
He’s reminding me of our history, our connection, the specter of my brother always looming. Every text he sends might as well be: We kissed years ago. Get over it. We can’t ever do it again .
Piper: I asked you a question, Logan. There, you happy?
He sends a smiling emoji with a message.
Logan: . In business, politics are often necessary. But if you want to be honest with him, I’ll understand that, too. The choice is yours.
I drum my fingers against the desk. Maybe the choice is mine when it comes to Milo and my project idea, but there’s no choice in the yearning that’s traveling hot and heavily through my body every time I think of Logan. I wonder what the expression on his face is, mentally painting the light dancing through his silver hair, imagining my hand clawing against his chest, my fingernails bending against his muscles.
Stop, Piper. Get a grip.
Piper: I’ll talk to him now. Thanks for the advice.
Logan: Anytime, Sunny.
I type too quickly, too eager.
Piper: Don’t call me that.
Logan: Fair enough. May I ask why?
The true answer? I don’t want him to reference anything that connects me to when I was a shy kid, and he was my big brother’s best buddy, my crush, and an impossible figure. I want to live in the here and now as a young professional woman full of possibilities.
Piper: If you’re obsessed with nicknames, Mr. Boss, think of a new one. Speak later.
I shove my phone in a drawer and walk to Milo’s office, knocking.
“Come in,” he calls.
Pushing the door open, I walk to his desk. Milo is in his mid-thirties with a dark brown man bun and glasses with thick, jet-black frames. He interlaces his fingers, looking closely at me. My overactive mind infects me with the idea that he’s judging me for having this job. The shadow of possible nepotism is hanging over the exchange.
“I had an idea, Milo,” I murmur. “I mentioned it to Mr. Wolfe personally, but I realized after that I should’ve come to you first. I hope that’s okay.”
He smiles tightly. “Let’s hear it.”
I sit down, doing my best to keep my voice steady as I explain the idea.
“So it’s a screen share?” he says when I’m done.
I nod. “Essentially, yes, but the concept is that we’d do our best to make it special and unique to our product. We’d make a big deal about the connection it affords and how it encourages the users to ‘spend time’ together. There are data implications, of course, for sharing video, and a bunch of other concerns we’d need to iron out…” my voice falters. Where’s my newfound confidence? Where’s the new job, new me attitude gone? “I know it sounds silly…”
“Hey,” Milo says, reaching his hand across the desk.
I move my hand out of the way before he can touch me. Was he going to touch me? I shouldn’t let that happen, but now, I’m not even sure he was going to. I feel so on edge.
“Don’t ever feel like you can’t come to me, Piper. You’re doing a great job. You’re already a positive force in the office. I think we should all meet and discuss this further. How does that sound?”
“Yes, thank you. That sounds great.”
I leave his office, reviewing the moment he slid his hand across the desk. It wouldn’t have been acceptable for him to touch my hand, would it? He definitely would’ve been crossing a line. But if that’s the case, what does it mean for these burning desires inside me, the heat telling me to take a chance with my brother’s best friend, with not just my manager but the CEO of the entire company? It would ruin me.
I stare stubbornly at my computer screen. I won’t think of Logan for the rest of the day?—
Yup. I’ve already failed.