Chapter 13
MARA
His face remains composed. His hands behind his back. Finally, he says, “What happens when you enter an airport and the scanner goes off? What do the staff have to do?”
It takes me a moment to understand what he’s hinting at. “Search you? Pat you down?”
He says nothing, just raises an eyebrow.
“Do you think I’m recording you or something?”
Again with the eyebrow raise.
I lift my arms, shooting a fiery look at him. I’m buzzing with adrenaline. First from the run-in with Callum, and now this. He walks around his desk, standing inches from me.
His closeness makes my body feel hot. His breath turns husky, and I know he feels it too, this unspoken tension simmering, waiting. Hungry for us to give into it.
I focus hard on why I came here. His hands slide over my body, pressing against my breasts, my hips, over my legs.
“I could be hiding a device anywhere,” I whimper.
What am I doing? I’m not here for that.
He looks at me, eyes blazing with desire. His hands slide slowly up between my legs. I bite down, but I don’t look away. He’s so confusing and captivating. My head feels like a battlefield.
He pushes down on my groin. A jolt of pleasure sparks through me, then he steps away, breathing hard.
“Satisfied?” I ask.
“Not even close,” he growls.
Despite the craziness, I smile. “I mean, that I’m not recording you?”
“Where’s your phone?” he asks.
“In the playroom.”
“Then let’s walk.”
He moves toward the door. I don’t step aside.
I came here angry, but the pat down has turned that into something else.
He keeps walking until he’s pressed right up against me.
I back away into the door, letting out a gasp.
Every near-miss moment, every tantalizing touch, culminates in this collision of madness.
“You’re angry with me, Mara,” he says huskily. “Outraged.”
“Yes,” I moan.
“Then why are you looking at me like it turns you on, knowing what I might be?”
“I’m not,” I whimper.
He smirks. “Yeah, sure…”
He leans down, his breath whispering over me. I gasp and throw my arms around his shoulders. The kiss awakens something in me, burning, passionate. He crushes me to him as our tongues find each other, both of us groaning in pure hunger as we rub against each other.
His length is stiff against my stomach. I want to give in to this so badly. To wrap my legs around him and feel him glide inside me.
But I came here for a reason.
“Wait.” I gasp between kisses. “Ettore.”
He makes a grumbling noise and stumbles back, turns away, as if facing me will be too much. Like he won’t be able to stop himself from grabbing me again. I’ve never seen passion like this, not in movies, not in real life, and certainly not directed at me.
“You taste like heaven,” he groans. “You feel even better than I knew you would.”
My nipples press against my bra. My core aches for him. I slow my breathing.
“Let’s just pretend that didn’t happen,” I murmur.
He shakes his head. “There’s no damn way I can do that.”
“Let’s go for that walk then. I didn’t come here for… that.”
He faces me again, staring as if I’m a prize he’s been waiting his entire life for.
I feel drunk on his attention. “I didn’t hire you for this, but every time I look at you, all I can think about is being with you.
Holding you. Making love to you. Or fucking you, if that’s what you prefer, wild and hard and—” He bites his fist, his eyes unhinged.
Slowly, he lets it go. “You’re right. We need to leave. ”
I turn toward the door, part of me hoping he’ll surge up behind me, pressing his solid bulge against my ass. Tear down my pants and find how warm, wet, and excited I am for him.
Soon, we’re walking with a distance between us through his grounds. “So?” I say.
He glances at me. “You’re a clever person, Mara. Tell me what you think.”
“I see people coming and going all the time. That guy earlier, your security guard, he looked like he came straight out of a Martin Scorsese movie. Sylvie didn’t seem shocked by what happened.”
He shrugs. “You should trust your instincts.”
“But then… how can I work here?”
He stops beneath a tree. “I don’t understand.”
“If you’re a bad man—”
He closes the distance. My lips are still tingling from the kiss, my body still too receptive.
“Not here,” I say quickly. “If Sylvie sees, it will mess her head up.”
He takes a step back. “I never said I was a bad man,” he tells me.
“Just a mob boss?”
“I never said that either.”
“No, not in so many words,” I say.
He keeps walking, hands behind his back.
His body looks like it’s ready to explode out of his shirt.
The sun catches the silver streaks at his temples.
“There are men in this world who straddle heaven and hell. They take enough of heaven to make hell better, and they take enough of hell to keep heaven in line. Heaven is too kind. Hell is too vicious. It’s possible to walk this tightrope for a person ready to ruthlessly commit to a certain morality. ”
He’s being vague, but I understand what he’s trying to tell me…
He walks that line. He tries to do the right thing. I’ve got no reason to believe this. Except I do. I need to be careful with that.
“Do men like these hurt innocent people?”
He looks at me with shock. And hurt.
“Well?” I demand.
“Never,” he says.
“But we’re not talking about anyone specific.” I wave a hand. “Just in case there are secret listening devices in the bushes.”
“You’re an asset to this place, Mara. Sylvie cares about you already.”
“But it doesn’t change the fact we’re still strangers.” When he winces, I go on, “Don’t worry. I’m not some silly girl. I know one kiss and some touching doesn’t turn us into some great love story. Okay—thank you. You’ve told me what I need to know.”
“Now what?” he asks. “Are you going to quit?”
“Maybe I would if it wasn’t for Sylvie,” I say.
“Or if you weren’t so desperate for the kissing to go further next time.”
My cheeks flame red. I turn away quickly. “Keep telling yourself that.”
I feel his eyes on my ass as I walk away. I look over my shoulder, confirming my suspicions. He smirks and gestures as if to say, Why are you stopping? I flip him the bird and go on my way.
I lie in the guest bedroom that night, tired from an evening of board games with Sylvie.
She dropped off to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.
Now, I’m tossing and turning, replaying everything in my head.
The confrontation, the confirmation of what I suspected.
The kiss. The physical closeness. What he said, those hot-as-hell words, then biting his lip like he had to stop before he acted on them like a savage.
When a knock comes at my door, I sit up, breathless. Half hoping it’s him, even if I should know better. He confirmed he was a mob boss. And I still want him. I need to guard my silly heart.
“Yes?” I call.
“It’s me. Livia.”
“Come in.”
She pushes into the room, shutting the door behind her, wearing her nightgown. She looks exhausted. “Do you mind if I sit?”
“Sure,” I say, sitting up in bed.
She pulls up a chair. “Sorry to visit. I wasn’t sure if I should.”
“What’s bothering you?”
“Ettore mentioned you had a conversation earlier.”
“Yeah?” I nod. “Okay.”
“He mentioned it was of a… certain nature.”
“About his job. His role in society.”
“Hmm,” Livia mutters. “I’m curious if you’re going to stay with us.”
“Okay,” I say again, cautious not to overcommit.
“Sylvie cares about you a lot already,” she goes on.
“We’ve tried nannies before, but nothing has ever stuck for this long.
The poor thing needs a mother figure. God forgive me, I think I could’ve done that once.
But after her mother passed… did you know I raised her mother, Vera?
I was her nanny from the time she was a baby. ”
“I didn’t know that,” I say, my heart going out to her.
“Those were the sweetest years in my life. I come from a family like this, like Vera’s. Do you know what I’m saying?”
Yeah—the mob.
“I think so.”
“In this life, women are used like pawns. Men are too, only to a lesser extent. Marriage is often used to bring families closer together. To form alliances, whether they want it or not. I would never say this in front of Sylvie, but Vera and Ettore were not in love. He openly admits this, and so did she, before the car crash.”
I watch and listen, rapt.
“Vera tried her best to be a good mother, but I think, when she looked at Sylvie, she only saw the things which led to this marriage. So, she hid away in her room. She left the childcare to us. Sometimes – please, never repeat this – but sometimes, I’m relieved Sylvie doesn’t remember any of this.”
I swallow, reaching out from the sheets and taking Livia’s hand. She’s not cold, I realize suddenly. She’s just guarded. “I understand,” I murmur. “Family connections can be… confusing.”
“I’m telling you all this because I think you have a chance.”
“A chance at what?”
“To change Sylvie’s life. And maybe Ettore’s too.”
I swallow. “That’s a lot of responsibility.”
She stands. “I know. And maybe it’s not fair of me to talk to you like this.
But I think you might be a lost soul too, like me, like Ettore, like Sylvie in many ways.
” She sighs. “If you don’t think you can stick around, please, make your decision quickly.
Cutting the bond now, while it’s fresh, will hurt Sylvie.
But it will be much, much worse if it grows stronger. ”
She leaves me, shutting the door quietly.
I think about her words, knowing the temptation to leave should be greater. I got this gig to pay off the house my estranged aunt left for me, the woman who didn’t care about me when she was alive. It was supposed to be a job, nothing more.