Chapter 13
CHAPTER 13
TORI
“ I certainly do not expect you to stay,” Rowan says when the police have come and gone. They took my statement, confiscated the gun and the shirt as evidence, and left with promises to investigate. “Are the police going to give you an escort, at least? Somebody to make sure that jerk doesn’t return?”
“They’re underfunded,” I reply, shrugging. “They said I should call them if I notice anything suspicious.”
“Oh, poor girl.” Rowan touches my arm. “This is just awful. I always knew Damien had problems… but this . It just seems extreme. All you did was say no to his advances.”
“Maybe that’s enough for some men. I don’t know.”
“Either way, you’re going home. That’s final.” Rowan nods across the bar. “I think I know someone who will give you a ride.”
I look across the bar at Alex sitting in the booth as if he’s a regular Joe—as if, when the time comes, his body won’t swell like it’s going to tear his clothes apart, and he won’t go into full protector mode.
When he saved me, I felt my heart melting like it was full of goo, but there’s still that cautious voice inside.
“I’m not going to let Damien dictate my life. The cops will find him soon, I’m sure. Then everything can go back to normal.”
“Still, he’s waiting for you.” Rowan nods over at Alex.
Grabbing my bag with his gift inside, I walk over to his booth. Alex stands, his chest rising and falling gently now. Before, he was the equivalent of a human volcano.
“I’m giving you a ride, Tori,” he says.
“Is that an order?”
“It’s a statement of fact. You’re not risking public transport or walking these streets alone. Come on.”
He puts his hand on my lower back, his touch making my body feel all warm and tingly.
He leads me onto the street, his gaze scanning up and down to make sure Damien isn’t hidden amid the growing crowds. I can put up all the defenses I want, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like this.
And all that stuff about him maybe making up a nephew. If he was lying to me because he wanted to get into my pants, would he stare down a bullet for me? Isn’t that just silly?
It’s only a short ride to my apartment.
“Thanks for the book,” I murmur, taking it out to look at it again.
“You’re welcome. I hope you fill it with beautiful poetry, Tori. I still want to see you perform…”
“And I still think that would make me melt into a heap on the floor.”
He seems disappointed the ride is so short, his strong jaw tensing as we pull up to my apartment.
“So, I’ll see you?” I say.
“I have a feeling you will,” he replies.
“Why did you sound so mysterious when you said that?”
His eyes glimmer savagely. “I can’t shake the idea of that bastard returning.”
“Okay…”
I feel like I’m missing something. “Have a good night,” he says stiffly.
I don’t want to leave things like that. Even though I’m the one who pushed him away before, I touch the front of his shirt and pull him in for a kiss. His smile is pure and relieved, as if he thought I might not feel the same way.
I don’t, I assure myself, as we kiss. I can’t feel the same as he does. He’s looking for his one and only, and I’m not sure what I want anymore.
Our mouths open, our tongues hungrily find each other. I can feel his body blazing with desire. His hand rests on my leg; then he squeezes like he can’t simply hold it there. When he glides it up, I put my hand on his wrist.
“Not now,” I say. “Not here .”
“You’re right.” His voice shudders. “I’m…”
I think he’s going to say sorry , but he stops himself. Maybe he can’t say it because it’d be a lie. He’s not sorry for kissing and touching me. Do I even want him to be?
As I walk across the street, I feel him watching me. The truth? I freaking like it. I could get used to being his obsession if I could just let go of all this messy baggage Mom has left me with.
“Oh, my gosh,” Lily says when I tell the girls what happened a while later in a group call. “That’s just awful. Are you okay?”
“I’m pretty shaken up,” I murmur, idly making notes in the notebook Alex gave me.
“That absolute piece of shit,” Cleo says angrily. “If I could get my hands on him… Seriously, I’d break his face. And the cops haven’t even put a car outside your place or anything?”
“No, but Alex has been sitting outside ever since he dropped me off.”
“That’s nice,” Lily murmurs.
I go to my bedroom window and look at the hulking man sitting behind the wheel, his broad shoulders and thick build reassuring.
“Yeah,” I reply.
“But?” Cleo says.
She’s seen right through me. “But I think I might be a little crazy.”
“Well, that’s not news ,” Cleo teases.
“Hey, leave her alone,” Lily cuts in. “She’s had a rough night.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry, Tori.”
“No, it’s fine. It’s better to pretend like everything’s normal.”
“So why this sudden thought about you being crazy?” Cleo asks.
“I just think all the relationship stuff about Mom might’ve messed me up. I don’t know…”
“Why don’t you talk to us about it?” Lily says softly.
“Okay, but promise not to laugh.”
“After tonight, there’s no way we’d laugh at you.”
I take a breath. “Almost every guy Mom has been with has lied to her in some way, right? Sometimes, these have been little lies. But other times, they’ve been absolutely absurd, like not having families, or having a relative who’s dying, yada yada yada. Get it?”
“Yeah…” Cleo says.
“Well, Alex says he’s got this nephew he’s caring for after his brother passed away. Only, there are no photos of this nephew on his social media. And he hasn’t even got any photos of him on his phone. Isn’t that suspicious?” I rush ahead before they can respond, caught up in the possibly insane idea. “I mean, not even one photo. But if this is all just about getting me into bed, why the heck would he protect me like that, you know?”
“I don’t know, babe,” Lily says quietly. “Maybe you’re overthinking it. Maybe he just doesn’t use his phone a lot.”
“Yeah, but...” Cleo sighs. “Men do lie. But why does this matter if it’s all casual anyway?”
“Cleo, he’s keeping guard outside her house after saving her life. This has already gone beyond casual,” Lily scolds.
It all makes my head spin.
“I’m going to try and get some sleep,” I say… well, lie. I won’t be sleeping much tonight.
“Call us if you need us,” Lily says.
“Yeah, any time,” Cleo adds.
“I will. Thanks for not calling me crazy.”
I end the call, then return to the window, typing a text.
Tori: You don’t have to stay out there all night.
Alex: I know I don’t have to, but I wouldn’t forgive myself if I left and something happened.
Tori: Don’t you have work?
Alex: Not until tomorrow morning. An eight-six shift.
Tori: You can’t go without sleep all night and then work a shift like that!
Alex: Not to shatter your illusions about the healthcare industry, beautiful, but that’s not exactly uncommon.
I smile, which feels like a miracle after the night I just had.
Tori: How are you feeling?
Alex: It isn’t important.
Tori: Don’t be silly. This has been a wild experience for you, too. It’s not every day you face down a gunman.
Alex: The only thing I feel is a desire to make sure you’re okay.
My heart grows warm with this Valentine’s silliness. The heat with my silver fox savior was never supposed to burn this hot this fast.
Tori: I just want to forget about it all. I don’t want to think about anything. But I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep, either.
Alex: Why don’t you write some poetry?
Tori: Writing is thinking. In fact, it might be the worst thing because it means disappearing into my mind.
Alex: You’re so… soulful, Tori.
Another smile.
Tori: Soulful, huh? That’s a new one.
Alex: You are. You put up a shield. You want to pretend nothing bothers you. But you can’t.
Tori: I just want some distraction. It’s not that deep.
Alex: Don’t tempt me to play that game, not when all this adrenaline is still surging through my body.
I sit on the edge of my bed, a shiver coursing through me. It feels dangerous, taboo in some way—we shouldn’t go here so soon after what happened.
Tori: What game are we talking about, huh?
Alex: You know damn well. I think you’re trying to get me to tell you.
I don’t want to tell him how little experience I’ve got. But I’m texting the truth.
Forgetting about all of it—Damien, my doubts, my quest to keep this casual – is so much easier than thinking.
Tori: …
Alex: Three dots have never meant so much. I could distract you, beautiful, but you’d probably think I was a psycho for getting so damn horny so damn fast after what happened tonight. But each kiss, each touch, it’d be a sign that I’m never going to let anyone hurt you.
Shivers dance all over me as I read his message, remembering the feel of his lips, his hands on my hips.
Tori: …
Alex: I’d find you in bed, you perfect, curvy, sensual poet. Then, I’d tear your pants down to reveal your thick and delicious legs. I’d fall to my knees, getting ready to feast on you and worship you in equal measure.
Tori: …
My one hand begins to stray up and down my thigh, almost like it’s doing it on its own. My core aches, my underwear suddenly feels too tight, my clit throbbing as if needy for his attention.
So much for not getting swept away.
But it’s just texting. I’m safe.
He continues, and for a blissful, brief moment, any body-image issues disappear in a puff of smoke.
Alex: You know how much I love to sink my hands into your fullness. I’d bury my hands in your delectable legs, kiss closer and closer to your sex, and trail my tongue around your hole until you’re shivering and wet. The whole time, your clit would be aching, hungry for my attention. I’d know this but wouldn’t push my tongue against it right away.
Tori: It’s tingling. Aching now.
Alex: Are you touching yourself?
Tori: No.
Alex: But you want to.
The power he has over me is unreal. The events of tonight recede into the back of my mind. It’s like he’s cast a spell of forgetfulness on me. Like he’s used some freaking magic.
Tori: Maybe…
Alex: That wasn’t a question. You want to touch your horny, needy clit, but you’re not going to until I let you.
Tori: When are you going to let me?
I’m stunned at the effect he’s having on me.
Nobody’s ever made me feel this way before. Sure, it’s not like I’ve tried a bunch of times, but this is still majorly different. It’s like I can feel his lust burning through each typed message.
Alex: That means you’re desperate to caress your perfect soaked slit . That means you want to rub your eager folds, get yourself ready for my cock. But not yet.
Tori: Will I get to see you? You’re not going to make me get naked all alone, are you?
My thumb trembles as I type.
Alex: Once I’ve teased your lips and your sweet center, I’ll stand up and tear my clothes off, showing you my bare chest, showing you my dick, rock-solid with how badly I want, NEED, you.
I linger on the word ‘need,’ knowing it should freak me out. My heart is pounding as I try to convince myself this can be casual.
Tori: Will you stroke yourself for me? Will you rub your precome all over your big cock? Will you make it glisten for me?
Alex: It seems like you’ve got this all figured out.
Tori: Yeah, right… I don’t know what I’m doing.
That’s even truer than I’m letting on, but I’m not going to share that with him.
Yet. Ever.
No, Tori. Don’t think about the future. Or the past. Just now.
Alex: Once I’m naked, I’ll finally touch your tight clit, he goes on. But I won’t touch it with my hand. I’ll bring the tip of my cock to your nub, press against it, sometimes slipping down your dripping folds toward your hole, giving you a preview of how it’ll feel when I take you.
I type, hardly able to believe I’m doing this. It seems so much easier over text.
Tori: I’ll rub my breasts for you. I’ve seen the way you look at me. I know I’ll be able to drive you completely nuts.
Alex: You’re doing that right now.
Tori: I’ll push my breasts together and then…
I stop texting when I hear a knock on my door.
“Hello?”
“It’s me,” Mom says. “Juliette texted and asked if you were okay after what happened.” Juliette is Cleo’s mom. “What happened, Tori?”
“You were passed out when I came in. I didn’t want to wake up.”
“Can I come in?”
“Uh, I’ll meet you in the living room.”
Tori: I’m sorry. My mom’s awake. I haven’t told her about Damien yet.
He doesn’t reply. Is he annoyed? Do I care?
I join Mom in the living room. She rises from the couch and cradles my face in her hands. It’s the most maternal thing she’s done in a long time, and it doesn’t seem to matter that she’s probably only doing it because she’s still a little drunk.
“What’s wrong? You look shell-shocked.”
“Sit down.”
Mom watches me closely as I explain about Damien. “I thought he was just a bit weird, but then he started talking about connections , and today…” I take a breath. “He lured me out back and tried to threaten me. My – uh, friend was there to help. Damien ended up pulling a gun.”
“Damien, with connections,” Mom murmurs.
“Yeah…”
“What’s Damien’s last name?”
“Kent. Why?”
“Oh, God.” Mom buries her face in her hands and starts sobbing.
I swallow a ball of annoyance. I don’t know why she’s crying, but she’s doing it in the way she sometimes has of making it all about herself. I’m not in the mood for this.
“Mom?” I say.
“There was a man I never told you about…”
I listen until I can’t take it anymore. Then I leap to my feet.
“Where are you going?” Mom yells.
“Away from you!”