Chapter Seventeen
“Remember when he yelled at you instead of comforting you? It’s the same thing. He was trying to show affection.” Athena soothed, as she brushed my hair.
“So when Thanatos said he was going to take my soul, was that how he shows he cares? That’s a bit much!” I huffed and crossed my arms. “He could have said, ‘let me take you out on a date, let me give you some flowers.’ Not the whole ‘you are mine and I’m going to suck your soul out and devour it whole and make you live in the Underworld foreverrr!’” I said with my voice lowered to a bone-chilling, guttural growl.
Athena stopped brushing my hair and stared at me in the mirror with a horrified face. “That is not what he said,” she deadpanned.
Athena showed up on day three when I got the bright idea to pray to the gods. Athena was the logical choice. I got on my knees by my bed and begged for her to come, and it worked.
I didn’t know what else to do. I was ignoring Thanatos. I had to because what he did was completely unacceptable. He could not keep me here.
Give him my soul? Out of the question. At first, I didn’t know I could do anything with my soul. I thought it was just who I was, and when I died, it would go to heaven or hell. I didn”t think it had much meaning. Apparently, it does because he wants it and I won’t give it to anyone.
The worst part about all this is my body had a strange attraction to the God of Death. After I told him to leave, told him I’d never want him, I felt a horrible constriction in my heart that I couldn’t explain. I shouldn’t, I very well shouldn’t, because he was a walking, talking possessive cunt-cake who needed to be slapped around with a reality stick.
He dipped his wings, the sorrow when I said it out loud. I could nearly feel him drowning in grief and I was actually feeling sorry for him!
And I had no clue why.
Athena continued to brush my hair. She said it was therapeutic according to her studies, and she was right. I’ve had no one brush my hair like this. If my mother ever did it, I must have been so young I couldn’t remember.
“Just take it slow. He really is trying,” she reminded me.
“I know he is.” I rolled my lips, tasting the remnants of breakfast.
Thanatos prepared the most delicious meals, making me abandon the idea of going on a hunger strike. The food he made was absolutely delicious. Better than anything I have ever eaten, actually. Fruits I’d never seen before, meats I’d never tasted. I was sure the gods had ample access to many foods, and Thanatos could have someone make the food, but the way he talked about the food when he placed in my room, there was no way anyone else made them.
Thanatos explained each meal meticulously when he set it on a table next to the bed. He told me where it came from, such as a land called Bergarian. A land I’ve never heard of. As curious as I was about the land he talks about during meals, kept silent and stared at him like I hated him.
I don’t though.
He saved my life.
He wants to save all those other women’s lives.
He wasn’t that bad of a person; he was just awkward, and let’s face it, we are both awkward. He was just trying to express emotion, but damnit, he caught me off guard.
Thanatos, the God of Death, he wanted my SOUL!
On top of it all, I felt embarrassed and had been throwing up while he told me it was his.
It was all bad timing, a little overbearing and, let’s face it, weird.
The God of Death was just weird.
But it was overly sweet the more I thought about it as we both sulked through the days.
Thanatos knew that his hand grossed me out to no end, so what did he do? The hand that was covered in skin to wake me from the Dream Realm. Instead of just getting rid of the meaty hand, he covered his whole body with skin.
And muscles.
That I tried to push away.
The dude was packin’ underneath those robes. He had some hard man boobs.
Which then made me feel a whole new set of feelings that something between us could work out because he wasn’t just bones. He had a body.
It gave me total romance novel level appeal with sparks, fireworks, and all that jazz, and we haven’t even kissed.
Cheesus, I haven’t even seen his face, and I wanted to know if fireworks would blast off in our mouths.
Athena stopped brushing and chuckles.
Ugh, I did it again.
“What you are feeling is perfectly normal.” Athena put the brush down and patted my shoulder.
No, this was not normal. None of this was. I cannot like Thanatos. I needed to leave. I needed to get out of here. I was going to help him with Fuzzy Bunnies, get those women out of there, and leave.
“Get me out of here,” I pleaded to Athena. “I don’t belong here. Help me get out after I help him close that strip club. There has to be a rule, a law that a human can’t be here in the Underworld or held hostage.”
Athena shook her head and put a lock of hair behind my ear. “Unfortunately, there isn’t.”
My shoulders slumped in defeat.
I couldn’t understand how Athena was so sophisticated and logical, nearly normal for a god, and Thanatos wasn’t. Why was that?
This is what I’d thought about for days. It was driving me mad, and the more I thought, the more my head hurt. Then when he walked into the room, all the pain melted away.
My body liked to be near him. I didn’t feel panic. I wasn’t fearful of him. My mind got in the way though. If I followed my body, followed the instinct of what my heart said, it would say to give him a chance.
That is how you get hurt in the end. I’d given my heart away before, to family, like you are supposed to. All to get rejected, to have it crushed by my own flesh and blood, who created me. It was shattering.
To yearn to be close to someone I didn’t know was dangerous, even more so with a god. Especially one who couldn’t explain his own emotions.
He might want me now, but he could toss me away.
Athena hummed and stroked my hair again and led me to a chair and had me sit. The table beside it held books, just like every other surface of the place where Thanatos lived—where he wanted me to live.
“You are a strong human, and I know you have burdens you carry. They would not be as heavy if you allowed someone to carry them for you.” She walked away from me and went to the curtain. “The Fates have led you here. It is time to give up some of that burden. You are safer here than anywhere on earth.”
That’s hard to believe when I’m next door to the Lake of Fire.
Athena let out a playful laugh.
“I’ll be keeping tabs on the both of you. Again, please keep an open mind.”
I grumble and cross my arms. “No promises.”
I stayed sitting in that chair for hours. I had lost all track of time, the only way I knew what part of the day it could be was the meals and snacks that Thanatos brought me.
He never let me go hungry, that was for sure.
I contemplated a lot of what to do about my treacherous body and conflicted feelings towards Thanatos. I also entertained the thought of making a daring escape through the haunting depths of the Underworld and pleading with Hades for salvation, which seemed utterly absurd. Ultimately, I browsed the large section of books that surrounded me. Each book, adorned with ancient Greek or Latin text, failed to grab my attention. Just as I reluctantly reached for yet another book, the distinct sound of nails clicking against, stone floor caught my attention.
As I turned my head, a wave of surprise washed over me. There stood Fluffy, his eyes beaming at me, but he appeared different from the Fluffy I remembered.
He was fat.
There wasn’t another way to put it. My little beastie was fat. He was happy to see me, but he was so round around his belly I wondered if he was pregnant.
“Oh little beastie.” I cooed.
Wait, I shouldn’t call him little. That’s lying.
His ears drooped, and I realized I’d said it out loud.
Damnit.
“No, no, you have so much love to give. Come here!” I held out my arms, and he happily slinked his tail around my arm and purrs deep in my chest.
I’m going to kill him. Going to kill Thanatos for feeding the beastie too much.
“I think whoever gave you too many snacks is in trouble. Do you have a tummy ache?”
Fluffy doesn’t respond to my words. He rolls over and expects me to rub his giant belly and even though it’s large, he looks sort of cute fat.
I rubbed him for a moment until I have to roll him over to get him back to standing. He grunted and groaned and got back on his four legs. Yeah, he would not be a sneaky little beast anymore. He was a tank.
“Let’s go find your master and figure out what to do about this. What did you do? Get into the cookie jar?”
Fluffy stared at me until he opens his mouth and burped. The force was powerful enough that I could smell the remnants of chocolate and peanut butter.
I waved my hand in front of my face. “Gods, gross! Fluffy! You can’t eat chocolate! That could kill— “
Fluffy and I stood there a moment, and I shook my head. Technically, he was already dead.
“Never mind, let’s go.”
I stomped into the living room, not taking in the sights. I huffed and puffed, my eyes narrowing at Thanatos, who had his back turned, talking to Hypnos.
“You!” I pointed to Thanatos. He turned, his hood still covering his face. “Why did you feed beastie so much? Look at him! He’s as tight as a tick!” I pointed at Fluffy, and he groaned.
Maybe he needs a massage.
Thanatos’ wings spread. “He doesn’t need a massage,” he spoke darkly. “And it was my brother who fed him too much.”
I darted my eyes to Hypnos. “You! Why were you feeding him?”
Hypnos slumped his shoulders. “I-I was trying to help. Thanatos needed some space, so I took Fluffy with me to my home. Fluffy was feeling down, so I offered him some snacks and he overindulged.”
“You kicked out your baby!” I cried out and kneeled to wrap my arms around Fluffy. “Your pet? why?”
Thanatos rubbed the back of his neck. I saw that he still had both hands, skin around his wrists and forearms. His shadows wrapped around his arm to cover the exposed skin.
“Honesty is the best policy,” Hypnos nudged him, looking him up and down.
Thanatos growled at him, jerking his head away from him.
Thanatos sauntered towards me, his steps silent but purposeful. The sound of his flowing robes brushing against the ground filled the air, creating a faint whisper. The faint scent of ancient parchment mixed with the smell of poppies swirled around him. As he approached, I could see the small tendrils of his shadows that danced and intertwined behind him, their movement hypnotic, not scary as some may find. With each step, the weight of his presence seemed to grow, casting a palpable aura of darkness. Finally, he squatted down in front of me, his fingers flexing and unflexing, the meaty hands betraying an otherworldly strength.
I could feel the intense heat radiating from his body, its warmth enveloping us as his majestic wings stretched out, creating a protective shield around Fluffy and me. My heart raced, but it wasn’t out of fear. Instead, a mix of awe and exhilaration coursed through me, amplifying the experience.
Beneath the snug sports bra, my nipples hardened like stones. Despite the warmth emanating from him, a shiver traced its way down my skin, intensified by the long sleeve top I wore. As his body loomed over Fluffy and me, the air seemed to still, leaving me breathless. Any hope of escape vanished, carried away on the wind. The power he exuded rendered it impossible for me to ever leave this place.
Besides, curiosity had gotten the best of me. One day I wanted to see what was behind that hood.
“My jealousy cannot be contained,” his voice rasped. “I want all your attention to be on me.”
My stomach fluttered.
You definitely have it right now.
I heard a tiny squeal from Hypnos from the corner.
“Damnit!”
Thanatos grabbed my hand, and I stilled.
“And I mean all of it.”