Chapter Twenty-Seven
After our satisfying dinner, we gathered in a dimly lit sitting room enveloped in the flickering glow of a colossal fireplace. The hearth stood tall, stretching up to two stories high, its flames dancing vigorously, reaching halfway towards the heavens. Remarkably, it didn”t require anyone to tend to it.
The room itself was not excessively warm but served as a captivating display. The air carried the rich scent of mahogany as the walls displayed its warm hue. Above the mantel, a grand portrait portrayed Hades, Ember, and their family, along with the formidable presence of Cerberus, who, I was informed, was not just a pet but a member of the family.
Cerberus, just like the human lore, was a three-headed hound who could actually talk, which was a new feature according to Uriel. Hades gave Cerberus this gift since he was expressing more interest in acting human than animal because of his complicated thoughts from his many years of living.
He wasn’t here tonight, and I was a grateful for that because I don’t think I could handle one more outrageous thing, such as a three-headed hound that could talk to me.
My chonky Fluffy was just fine.
Ares and Uriel were currently playing Jenga. Ares was fully into the game, trying to use his tactical battle skills to measure which piece would be the most logical while Uriel picked blocks at random, and somehow still managed to win.
Lilith was playing with them but was promptly escorted to bed an hour ago, not that she hadn’t put up a fight. The Reaper did a great job of handling her. Lilith was certainly a strong-willed child, but I think the Reaper did something that the other previous nannies didn’t do. And it was that he listened to her.
He allowed her to throw her tantrums until she finished and then asked if she felt any better before escorting her to bed. I guess reapers have more patience than real demon nannies, I suppose.
Curled up by the warm, crackling fire, I found myself engrossed in the soothing sounds of the embers as they danced and flickered in the roaring flames. With Macaroni nestled in my arms, and Fluffy by my legs, I let my mind wander to thoughts of Thanatos.
Not that he’d strayed far from my mind all day. He’d consumed me, in my mind, body, and heart. I won’t say soul. I didn’t want to, because part of me doesn’t want to believe it.
Is it the bond pushing me toward him? My craving to be wanted? I’m so insecure to be pushed away, I don’t even want to try.
Mariah closed the book she’s reading and purred in her chest. It was a wolf thing, that much I knew. I’d heard Ares do it when he was comforting Mariah when she was missing their child at dinner. “Ah, now she speaks her thoughts,” Mariah interrupted me.
“Damnit.” I sighed.
Mariah rubbed my hand and smiled. “Didn’t Uriel tell you not to think so much about this?”
“She did, but I can’t help it.”
Mariah curled her lip. “Then help me understand. I know you are strong, Juni. From the moment I met you, I knew. Otherwise, you wouldn”t have survived that strip club for four years and ended up being mated to a male with hardly any emotions other than coming off as an introverted asshole. Takes strong ovaries to take on such a male.”
I blew air through my nose and smiled.
“Plus, after I heard you tell him off when he told you he wanted your soul in the bathroom after you threw your guts up was phenomenal by the way,” she laughed. “Don’t think for a second you can’t handle anything.”
I shook my head, twirling my finger around Macaroni’s tail. “No, it’s just–you say the Fates had it planned out. I don’t see how that is possible. I was never meant to be here.” I gritted my teeth.
“I don’t understand.” Mariah wrinkled her brow.
Do I tell her?
“Yes, you tell her.” Mariah uncurled her legs from her seat and leaned closer. “That’s what family is for.”
I gasped. Family.
I let out a breath. “I haven’t told Thanatos yet. I don’t know why I’m making a big deal of it, I just—”
“Obviously it is important, otherwise you wouldn’t be holding onto it, Juni. Maybe you need someone to talk to about it.”
Ares emitted a low, menacing growl, his deep voice reverberating in the room. The towering structure crumbled and crashed to the table. Uriel’s excited cheer pierced the chaos, filling the air with the sound of pure joy.
“We can go somewhere private if you prefer?” She tilted her head to the door.
I shook my head and shrugged. “No, it’s okay, um.” I enjoyed being in a room full of people. These people. They enjoyed being around me, and I enjoyed being around them.
If I told her, maybe I would feel better.
“My parents, they had me when they were fifteen. I was a m-mistake.”
Mariah frowned but stayed silent.
“They both came from traditional families. If you got pregnant, their parents expected you to get married, and stay together for the sake of the baby. My parents dropped out of school, had to get jobs to raise me.” I swallowed. “Long story short, there was a lot of fighting between them. They tried not to fight around me. But I could hear. They were good parents. I never went hungry, I was clothed, they took me to school.” I paused for a long time and listened to the stacking of the Jenga blocks.
“Years later, they got a divorce. I would jump between houses for a while. It was fine. They were happier apart. I got to spend time with them, and I thought things were getting better. Until they both met new people and got engaged and married.” My stomach plummeted, remembering how each parent wanted me less and less. How the other parent wanted to pawn me off on the other.
They both had new lives, new marriages. They didn’t want to remember what they had to deal with before they met their new spouse.
“And then they both wanted to start new families,” I whispered. “They wanted babies with people they really loved and cared for.”
I still remembered the day when my mom brought home my half-brother like it was yesterday. I was sitting on the floor with a few toys scattered around me. My grandmother left me on the floor and told me to stay, all for her to leave me and go into the kitchen and coo over the new baby. I didn’t listen and followed and poked my head into the kitchen to catch a glimpse. They were taking pictures, my mom, her new husband and the little one.
I remembered requesting to hold the baby, to be included in the family picture with them, and someone forcefully pushed me aside.
“They didn’t want me in family pictures. Neither family did. They didn’t want the reminder. They didn’t outright say it. They just came up with excuses.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I didn’t beg either. They would hand me the camera, and I would take the picture. I didn’t want to have to beg to be a part of something they never really wanted.”
Mariah’s eyes softened, tears gathered in the corners.
“I was a mistake.” My voice shook. ”I was never meant to be here.” My voice trembled. “I was never wanted. My parents never wanted me. At school I was awkward. I made up imaginary friends to talk to, which is why I talk to myself.” I raised my hand and slapped the arm of the couch.
Fluffy darted his head up to look at me with concern.
“I never broke that habit. It only got worse in high school. When I get nervous, I blurt out whatever I’m thinking. Kids are mean by the way,” I snorted. “Downright mean. I had to take a guy I used to work with at a fast-food restaurant from the opposite side of town to prom because I didn’t have time to think when I worked there.” I shook my head. “I should have never gone. He was the worst date ever.” I rolled my eyes.
Fluffy whined and pawed at my legs.
“Beastie, I’m fine.” I scratched behind his ears.
Boy, he looked so much better after a few days of no treats. His stomach didn’t drag on the floor.
“Juni, so you mean to tell me, you are hesitant, because you think the Fates have made a mistake because you believe you are a mistake? Is that what I’m getting here?”
I nodded. “Why should we be together if I’m not meant to be here?”
Mariah’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious? You are not a mistake. No child born is a mistake,” she said reverently.
I shrugged. “The condom broke. No fifteen-year-old wants to have a baby. That isn’t how it’s done.”
Mariah stood from her chair and sat beside me, jostling Macaroni. He looked up at her and huffed and curled back up in my lap.
Mariah curled her arm around me, squeezing my shoulder. “Juni, you cannot think like that. Your soul is perfect for Thanatos. He’s waited so many years for someone as perfect as you to complete him.” She waves her hand around the room. “You being here, with us? This is not a mistake.”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“What about those girls?” Mariah said sternly. “The ones you got stabbed for?”
“How did you kno—”
“Word travels fast around here. It”s gossip central. You rescued those women. If you weren’t born, how would have they escaped? How would Thanatos be able to get more information about the place? Without you—none of that would have happened.”
I took in a shuttering breath. She was right. I think part of me knew that but needed the confirmation.
Maybe, just maybe. I was supposed to be here.
Maybe I was supposed to be found.
I let out another breath and nodded. “I’ve only been with you all for an afternoon and evening and you are more family and friends I’ve ever had. Thanatos is probably the only person I’ve truly cared for–ever. I just want to make sure it’s right and not because I’m so desperate to love someone.”
Shit I said love.
Mariah smiled, her fanged teeth shining in the firelight. “I’m glad you are seeing reason. I’m sure Thanatos will bang it into you some more when he gets back. I knew you had to be a badass, lasting four years at a strip club. You aren’t that timid of a thing, are you?”
I scoffed. “Not with in the last four years, anyway. I learned what I needed to. I had to adapt. I’ve always enjoyed dancing and would do it alone in my bedroom, so I had some sort of rhythm. Except I had to do it naked. In front of men.” I shivered.
“Still, you’ve done amazing. I don’t know how I would have handled that.” Mariah made a face. “But uh, the moves you learned—have you used them on Thanatos yet?”
My face turned red. Should I use my skills on him? What would he think? I usually went to a happy place, where I blocked out everyone watching me. I think I would be a blubbering mess if I did it for him.
“N-no.” I shifted on the couch. “I haven’t.”
Mariah’s eyes widened with mischief. “You should do it. In fact, I would love to learn, too.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “If you feel comfortable, that is?”
I tried not to smile. Teach her how to strip? How to dance to get her man off? After all she’s done for me today? I’d love to help her and, to be honest, I missed dancing.
I gave her a slight nod and Mariah squealed and jumped up from the couch.
Another loud crash echoed through the room as yet another wooden block tumbled down from the towering Jenga structure. Ares couldn’t contain his frustration any longer. He surged to his feet, his face contorted with anger. With a powerful motion, he hurled the table across the room, the sound of splintering wood hit my ears. It soared through the space, landing with a resounding thud in the crackling fireplace, sending a cloud of ash and smoke billowing into the room.
“Bad, Ares. Now Hades is going to have to conjure another,” Uriel chastised.
“You are cheating!” Ares pointed at her. “There is no way you can win every time!”
“Baby! Listen!” Mariah jumped over to her mate and kissed his cheek. “Juni is going to teach me and Uriel how to use a stripper pole!”
My face reddened.
“Or a striptease?” Mariah turned to look at me. “Which ever you are comfortable with? I can’t wait! What do you think, Uriel?”
Uriel stood up and knocked off the invisible dirt from her dress. “I think it sounds great, Luci will very much appreciate it! He likes it when I do naughty stuff he isn’t expecting. Can I dress up as a naughty bunny?” Her eyes sparkled.
I snorted and buried my face into Macaroni’s fur.