chapter seven.
cyn
What would’ve happened if I stayed with Brix and toughed it out?
That’s what my mother told me to do. I had considered inviting my parents over, but that would surely be a disaster.
Unlike Brixton, I told my parents about our split.
I had to. Living lies isn’t something in my playbook, which is why I don’t know why I agreed to this.
After all, that’s why I left Brix. I was living lies, feigning happiness for the world, but was lonelier than a tumbleweed rolling through dust in the desert.
Now, I’m out here doing wifey things again, and to be honest, I miss it.
I grab a cart and push it further into Signature Select, browsing the decor for sale.
The candles – cinnamon apple, pumpkin caramel and banana bread – yeah, these beauties are all coming with me.
They smell like fall. I couldn’t choose just one.
And they’re all in gorgeous glass containers.
It would definitely add some sweetness to Brix’s home.
Then there’s a beautiful wreath that’s fancy enough for his massive front door.
I had purchased some wreaths in the past, but I have no clue what Brix has done with that stuff.
Plus, this gigantic one puts all the others to shame.
The leaves – all the different colors – look so real.
And it has pine cones – oh, somebody designed this thing just for me. I mean Brix.
I picked up a neat fall comforter set for the guest bedroom, some coasters, fall-inspired hand soap, room sprays for the bathrooms, and a leaf garland for the fireplace.
I leave there and head to Martin’s Grocery where I grab two bottles of Pepsi, a bottle of ginger ale, sweet potatoes, cinnamon, nutmeg, butter, pie pans, whipped cream, paper towels, toilet paper, and a few more items I think Brix may need or possibly could be running out of.
I used to do all of this shopping for him – for us.
Now, I think he hired someone to do it, but I’m not sure. I’m not in his business like that.
As I head to the register, I see my mother wheeling a cart in my direction. And it’s full – looks like she’s cooking for the Christenbury Comets. I know this woman ain’t trying to go through self-checkout with half the store in her cart.
I say, “Hey, Ma! Oh, you ‘bout to be all up in that kitchen, huh?”
“Yeah, girl,” she says, reaching to hug me. I embrace her warmly. I love my mom to pieces, with her heavily opinionated self.
When she releases me, she says, “I got the family coming over. Everybody gon’ be there except you!”
Beep.
We’re standing so close to the self-checkout registers that I cannot drown out the sound of barcodes being scanned, one immediately after another.
“Yeah, well–” I say, because I already told her about how I’ll be playing house with Brix for the next few days, and I’m not trying to repeat it.
Beep.
She says, “And you know you ain’t got no business fooling around with that man like that.”
Here we go…
“Ma, what are you talking about?”
Beep. Beep. Beep.
“I’m talking about Brixton. You know what I’m talking about. Why are you playing with him? More importantly, why are you playing this game with yourself, Cyn?”
“Ma–”
“A blind man can see y’all belong together,” she asserts before I can answer the two questions she shot at me back-to-back.
“Now, you fixin’ to go over there and play pretend wife? If you know like I know, you’d better be vying to get your position back. Got that fine man walking around Christenbury like he’s the next Bachelor. Brixton only has eyes for you.”
“Ma–”
“So what he worked a lil’ too much? Y’all new-age women are hard to please, ain’t you? You mad when a man’s working, then you mad when he ain’t working. What in the world?”
Beep.
“Pick a side for goodness’ sake!”
“Ma, are you gon’ let me get a word in?”
“Yeah. Go ‘head–done ran my blood pressure up with this foolishness.”
“Your blood pressure is just fine.”
Beep.
“How you know?” she asks, her brows raised.
“Because I know. Move over here a little. I need to get away from these registers.”
She pushes her cart behind mine, and when we get to a place, that’s not so loud, I say, “Look–whatever’s going between me and Brix is between us.
I only let you know we weren’t together as a courtesy.
I only told you why because you had your mind made up that he had cheated on me, and I wanted you to know that wasn’t the case.
I’m not trying to besmirch Brixton’s good name. ”
“Well, while you over there playing house, you may as well gone get some extracurricular activities in. Both of y’all so wound up.”
Her change-up is diabolical. Extracurricular activities. Do old people really think sex fixes things, or is it just my frisky mother?
“Have you spoken with Brix recently?” I inquire, because how would she know how wound up he is if she hadn’t?
“As a matter of fact, I have. I took my client to the hospital a few weeks ago and saw him in the hallway. He didn’t even know what to say to me. I’m the nicest person ever, and he had no words. None. You hear me?”
“Ma, it’s not a reflection of you. You are the sweetest, and I’m blessed that I have you for my mother. However, this situation between me and Brix is awkward. People don’t plan on separating when they get married.”
“Of course not.”
“We were supposed to last forever.”
Her brows snap to the ceiling when she asks, “So, why didn’t it?”
I release a sigh, blowing an even breath to maintain the calm temperament I currently have.
She says, “That’s why you need to get your tail back over there, and I’m not talking about just to play pretend. Work it out with him. You act like they’re giving men like Brixton away for free. Chile, please! You don’t find men like that no more.”
I shake my head and say, “Well, it was so good running into you, Mother, but I have to get going.”
“Mmm, hmm. You trying to get rid of me.”
Duh.
“No, I have a lot of prep work to do.”
“Okay. If you say so. Keep me posted on what’s going on.”
“I will.” I hightail it to self-checkout so I can escape the judgment of her eyes. I know she wants what’s best for me and Brix, but fussing at me ain’t going to get us there. It doesn’t help at all. It just makes me want to…
Run.
Back at home – I mean at Brixton’s house – I decide on where to put the candles.
I place one on the kitchen island, one on the dining room table, and the other on the mantle.
After I position it just right, I take a moment to look up at the photo of us.
Our wedding photo. It brings a smile to my face.
We were so happy that day. It was a new beginning.
The merging of two lives and the start of something beautiful.
We were untouchable. Unbendable. Unbreakable. Did he break us, or did I do it?
I break away from my thoughts and continue spicing up this house.
I place the new wreath on the hook on the front door and change the comforter in the guest bedroom to the new fall edition one I just bought.
Then I boil the sweet potatoes so I can bake the pies later, or perhaps in the morning.
Brix isn’t home while I’m doing all of this.
I’m sure he’s on the way to pick up his parents.
That’s when it hits me – this is really happening! His parents are about to be here, mixed up in this crazy dynamic of us when we can barely figure out what we’re doing. I’ma do my best, but I have no idea how this is all going to go down.
After the sweet potatoes are all boiled and soft, I drain off the water and set the pot aside.
Then I walk outside onto the deck and reminisce about all the time we used to spend out here.
We didn’t buy this house together. When we met, Brix had already owned this beautiful home while I was living in a condo downtown.
I put it up for sale after I moved here.
When I first laid eyes on this place, I remember thinking that it was like a dream.
That I was that girl who met her prince charming, and he moved me into his castle.
I was overwhelmed, but in a good way. I never knew my life would be like a fantasy.
Like the stuff women dream about. I never imagined I’d be married so young and to a brilliant, handsome doctor. I was twenty. He was thirty.
All of this is on my mind as I stare out into the expansive backyard.
I see the hammock where I’d relax after work, swaying gently from side to side until the soft rocking drifted me into a slumber.
Between those trees is where I got some of the best sleep of my life.
And the pool – I’ve watched Brix swim a thousand times.
His muscular body prying through water was something to behold.
Every stroke was beautifully executed. Like a work of art.
I remember backyard barbecues, anniversary celebrations – we did it all back here.
Now, I’ve been downgraded to playing ‘pretend wife’, so my mother calls it. I can honestly say I didn’t see this coming.
I snap out of it and head back inside, making final preparations before they arrive. There’s no turning back now. I have to be ‘on’. Dean and Faith can’t detect any dissension in the ranks, or Brix’s precious reputation and standing with his folks will be in jeopardy.