November 3rd
I’m not telling you.
Ainsley
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Damon says to me during one of our nightly phone calls. “I miss you so much.”
I’m sitting on the couch, smiling, when Sammy walks in the door.
“I miss you too,” I tell Damon, then say, “Hey, Sammy just got home and we have to work on our project, so I should probably go.”
“That’s okay. I have homework too. Love you, Champ,” he says as I end the call.
Sammy comes to stand in front of me, looking perplexed. But then he crosses his arms across his chest and starts tapping his foot.
“What’s up?” I ask, wondering what his latest drama is.
“Are you pregnant?” he asks me.
My eyes get big. “Do I look pregnant?” I ask, trying to look offended and not guilty.
“You did just now. We talked the other day about how you look puffy. I haven’t wanted to just come out and say it, but you’ve most definitely gained weight this semester.
And although I was trying to be careful about broaching such a delicate subject, I’ve been worried about you.
Looking up weight gain causes, like thyroid issues, food allergies, even cancer!
But now it’s so obvious to me. You’re sleeping more, eating more, so incredibly picky about food. ”
“I’m tired, hungry, and trying to eat healthier,” I reply.
“When you were on the phone, you were rubbing your belly. And it just hit me. You’re having his baby. Aren’t you? But the real question is, why haven’t you told me?”
I let out a sigh. “Because I haven’t told anyone. And I’m not telling you now.”
“Not even the father?” he asks, looking stunned.
“That’s correct.”
“But why? It’s not like you can really hide it anymore.”
“No one has noticed at school. You didn’t notice until just now. If I’m pregnant, trust me, Damon will be the first one I tell. But he needs to get through this season first.”
“This season?! That’s bullshit. If you don’t tell him, I will!”
“I would deny it,” I say seriously.
Sammy sighs. “You really love him, huh?” he says softly, sitting down next to me.
“Yes, I do. And you know that.”
“You two talk all the time. You’re still together. It wasn’t just some summer fling. So, what I don’t understand is, why? Why haven’t you told him? Or told me? I feel very emotional about this. You and I tell each other everything. And now I’m distraught!”
“I told you, Sammy. No one knows until he knows. Period. I have my reasons. Important reasons. And that should be good enough for you.”
“Well, it’s not! I could’ve been there for you. This whole time. You shouldn’t have kept it a secret. And he’s a great guy. You can’t do this to him. Seriously, if you don’t give me a good reason this second, I’m going to call him.”
I judge his serious expression. And know he’s not fibbing about that.
“For one, it will cause a huge scandal if anyone other than Damon finds out. And that would take his focus off his game, his season, his career. His dream. I can’t do that to him. He deserves this time to focus.”
“So, you’re going to hide the baby until he gets drafted?”
“Just until Thanksgiving.”
“That’s only a few weeks away.”
I nod.
“How far along are you?”
“I’m not telling!”
He marches off in a fury. “You are so stubborn sometimes!”
But then he comes back a few moments later, sits next to me, and just pulls me into a hug. “You’ve been going through this all on your own.”
“Yes,” I exhale, the weight of his statement hitting me. “I’m doing it for him.”
Sammy sighs. “It’s kind of romantic,” he says to me.
“I think so.”
“Do you really think this is smart though?”
“You’ve seen how they’re doing. What they are capable of this season with focus. He’s going to find out soon anyway.”
“And then we will really find out if he can handle the pressure.”
“You’re right. And it’s given me time. To adjust to the news. To feel the baby grow. To make sure Damon is not only going to be a good dad, but a good partner.”
“I love you, Ainsley. You know I’m here for you—always. No matter what. And for your baby.”
A tear falls down my cheek as I rub a circle across my stomach.
It’s then that I feel another kick.