Chapter 24
June
For what I realized was the fourth time this semester, I was getting ready to go out, to have plans.
Who was the fucked up loser now, huh, family?
Me.
Still me.
But at least I was getting out of the dorms.
I snapped a selfie in my white, off-the-shoulder crop top, my ripped jeans, and a face full of makeup with long, loose hair. I almost looked like myself, like the rambunctious girl from high school.
Passing the photo along to the family group chat, I captioned it that I was heading out with Olivia from history class. Mary wasn’t an option, given my parents’ initial doubts about her, and neither was Oliver, given the questioning I knew I’d receive about him. So, Olivia it was.
Olivia and I had an awesome time at the frat party together, and an even better time at her father’s birthday dinner. My parents were super excited that we went to the Nature Club, too, and now they were complimenting my makeup for girls’ night. I would’ve felt bad about lying, but it was mitigating the usual interrogation, so I couldn’t possibly. I’d tell them the truth another time.
It’s not that I was just using Oli to brag to my family. I was actually excited about going tonight, too. The entirety of freshman year, I was hardly able to get myself out of the room. This year, I’d forced myself to the frat house and the Nature Club. If it were up to me, given that both of those events were relatively disastrous, they likely would’ve been my last outings. Perhaps ever. But Oli gave me more reasons to go out, he gave me reasons to dress up, and I realized I’d needed that push.
I walked across campus, shaking out my uneasy hands, my heart rate increasing exponentially as I got closer to Oli’s dorm building. We’d never really spent time together outside of the required or accidental outings, and I had no idea how this was going to go. Was I supposed to kiss him hello? What were we supposed to talk about if not the project?
I knocked thrice on his door, and it opened only a few seconds later to reveal Oli in his typical black trousers, a white T-shirt, and a beige flannel. He cleared his throat. “Juni.”
“Oliver.”
“Uhm…” He seemed to be at as much of a loss for how to greet me as I was. A kiss? A hug? A fucking high five?
“It’s okay,” I said quietly with a small, nervous chuckle. “Me too.”
He sighed with relief. “Oh, thank god.”
He stepped to the side and let me walk through the door, rubbing a hand on my upper back as I passed. Jonah sat in his bed with a brush, pulling through the scraggly ends of his long, raven hair, drowning in black sweatshirt and swirled sheets. He peeped a little hello, which I returned.
Oli approached me with a plastic cup of warm liquor. We both sat down on his bed in a completely appropriate way apart from, of course, his hand, which insisted on resting on my thigh. After an hour of drinking whiskey and chatting, I could feel the buzz in my toes and up to my cheeks. The room was warm, and Oli’s hand was even warmer. My body slumped ever closer to his, the feel of him pressed to my side increasing with each moment.
Oli said he’d gotten into a fight with his father earlier, though he seemed fine now. Even Jonah seemed happy, which I’d come to learn only happened around very few people. I was glad to be one of those people.
During the time I’d spent in their dorm room thus far, I learned that apart from Oli playing drums, Jonah played guitar and sang, and Noah played bass and sang, too, and their music was actually pretty good. Right up my alley, even. It wasn’t all screamy-screamy like I assumed it would’ve been based on Oli’s usual T-shirts. It had more of a hometown vibe with a whole lot of heartbreak. Though, I guess that was to be expected. Jonah wrote most of their lyrics after all, and he had heartbreak stamped all over him.
During a thick lull in the conversation, Jonah stared us down, flicking his eyes between Oli and me. “You know, you’re cute, you two.” He wagged a finger in our direction.
“Shut up, Jonah.” Oli rolled his eyes and tipped his cup of whiskey down his throat. “You’re just like Kai.”
“Thank you,” Jonah said to Oli before looking my way. “If Kai were here, you two would be done for. She wouldn’t stop until you were in love.”
“Love.” My shoulders jumped as I scoffed. What an absurd thought. “Oliver and I hardly like each other.” I glanced in Oli’s direction in search of agreement, but I didn’t find it. Instead, I found what looked like discomfort. Weird. I quickly changed the subject. “Have you talked to her recently, Jonah?”
He nodded slowly. “She’s insisting, as always. She says I need to try to get out more. Especially now that—” He glanced at Oli, taking a quick pause. “Well, I’m dropping out, actually. She’s proud of me, and she believes in me.” He smiled softly.
“Dropping out?” I asked with a type of surprise that, for some reason, felt like secondhand happiness. “Are you glad about it?”
He glanced at Oli once more. “I am. I think this change is going to make me a lot more comfortable.”
“I’m really happy to hear that.” I was. Jonah was a good guy. Just because he was a little weird didn’t mean he should’ve stayed in a place that made him uncomfortable. “What are you going to do here without him?” I teased, turning to Oli.
He didn’t answer. Instead, he stared at me. No, he stared into me. Then, he kissed me. “Let’s do something tonight,” Oli said to both of us with an odd level of desperation. He seemed nervous, which was an emotion I didn’t often note in him. The fight with his father plus the fact that his friend was leaving was probably a lot to handle. Poor guy.
“No,” Jonah said, picking his notebook up and smacking it on the bed in front of him. “I’m drunk and feeling inspired. I’m going to write.”
“There’s a party at the Blue House,” I said to Oli. “Mary told me about it.”
Again, he kissed me. Though, this time, he grabbed my head and manipulated me down onto his sheets, crawling over me. “Maybe Jonah should go to the Blue House.” He worked my neck and jaw, tempting me to stay in his tiny bed for the rest of my life.
“Anxiety card,” Jonah said. “I get the room. You two can have sex anywhere.”
Wait a second…
Oh my god…
Sex.
I could hardly remember the last time I’d had sex. Well, that wasn’t true. Of course, I remembered it, but I couldn’t conjure up the exact feeling. Someone would need to help me with that part.
I’d been so caught up in this silly game with Oli that, somehow, it’d slipped my mind that we’d probably be doing it sometime soon. Sure, I wanted it. Of course, I did. I dreamed about it a lot, too. But something about the way Jonah said that made me feel like it could happen tonight. I was excited and nervous and, in an instant, I decided I had to have it.
Oli remained on top of me, moving his kisses back to my mouth, pressing into me deeply with a hand on my hip. I had no mind to stop him or pull away. I welcomed it, became lost in it. Jonah’s presence was suddenly an afterthought. I wrapped my arms around Oli, genuinely wondering if the sex was going to happen now and, if so, thinking about how to get his gloomy roommate out of here for it.
“Jojo!”
I thought I heard a girl talking through a speaker as Oli and I continued our kiss.
“Please save me from these heathens,” Jonah said flatly.
I glanced up to find him turned, holding up his phone to show himself, Oli, and me on a newly initiated video chat. I recognized the girl on the screen. It was Kai.
“You couldn’t even last two hours, could you?” she said. “You look pretty. Did you brush your hair to see June tonight?”
“Mhm.” He pressed his lips together sheepishly and settled back into his neutral position.
Oli finally sat up, pulling me with him. He laid a soft hand on my cheek as we straightened out. I hated how sweet it felt, and I was confused by the look in his eye. Before I could process any of it, Jonah’s phone came flying across the room, landing next to me on the mattress with a bounce.
“She wants to meet you,” Jonah said to me.
I picked up the device and stared straight into Kai’s bright smile.
“Oh my gosh, June!” she said. “Tell me everything. Are you weird in the head? Is Oli forcing you to be with him? You can tell me if he is. Girl code. Blink twice. I’ve heard so much about you!”
My cheeks heated at hearing she’d heard so much. Bad things, probably, but it still piqued my interest, and I didn’t hate the way Oli sank his face into his palms and groaned with embarrassment.
“I’m here of my own free will,” I promised. “But if anything changes, I’ll call you.”
Kai giggled. “Good, because it’s us against them. Although if I’m really honest…” She placed her hand around her mouth as if to tell me a secret. “They’re super nice guys. I wish I could say they weren’t, ya know, because they’re boys, but they’re the best. I meet mean guy, after mean guy, after mean guy—don’t tell Jonah, he’d be disappointed—but Jonah and Oli are the reason I know there are nice ones out there too. So you’re lucky you snagged one. What am I saying? I bet you’re nice too. He’s lucky he snagged you.”
I was unable to hold in my grin as she rambled, though it was hard to pinpoint her exactly. She was like something of a different dimension. So weirdly thoughtful and curious and simply unlike anyone I’d ever spoken to before, yet somehow exactly the same. Her teeth took up most of the screen, and something melted in my heart. It was sweet to hear her speak so highly of these boys.
“He’s noble, June,” she said a bit more seriously, her grin still ghosting her pink lips. “Truly.”
Oli ripped Jonah’s phone from my hand, his face turning red, and said, “Kai, isn’t it, like, 6:30 in the morning? Go to bed.”
“Have you known me to get any sleep lately, big bro?”
“No. Nor have I known you to be a good wingwoman.” Actually, I thought she was doing a pretty good job. “So leave June alone.”
She suck her tongue out immaturely, and Oli threw the phone back toward Jonah.
“ByeJuneIloveyoualreadyyyyy!” she sang as she flew across the room.
Jonah captured her with two eager hands and a warm gaze I hadn’t yet seen from him. Perhaps she was the only one worthy of it.
“Won’t you come home and meet her in person?” he asked, staring at the screen with wide eyes.
“Nice try,” she answered. “But if I came home, you’d be far too happy. We’d have to revoke your emo card.”
Jonah groaned and fell sideways into his pillow.
“My friend, Max, texted me,” Oli said to me quietly, showing me a message on his phone. “Everyone’s going to the Blue House.”
In a silent interaction of eye contact and smirks, Oli and I agreed we’d be checking that party out.
◆◆◆
Oli
June and I slouched next to each other on a couch in the living room of the Blue House, surrounded by chatter and a whole lot of stupidity. The furniture was so worn, I could’ve fallen right through it. While we remained in near silence amidst our incredibly loud surroundings, we both watched the same handful of people in front of us, passing silent glances back and forth as if to say, Did you see that? There was so much to watch here, so much to observe, and I loved our wordless communications.
We both bit our tongues as a drunk girl failed miserably at hitting on the guy standing by the window, his face the picture of sheer annoyance as her mouth flapped about. When a sloshed student dumped the contents of their red cup down the front of their shirt, June smacked my arm, and I choked down a chuckle, touching my fingers to my lips to shield my amusement. It wasn’t until a guy fully tripped over the coffee table in front of us and face-planted into the rug that June snorted loudly, keeling over herself with laughter. I covered my own giggles by grabbing her and dragging her on top of me, letting her bury her face in my chest as I hugged her tightly and laughed into the top of her head.
She was sprawled across me as we both jerked with guffaw, and I must say it was the happiest I’d been in a long while. This feeling, this sheer amusement and unfiltered joy, is what I wanted to feel for the rest of my life.
June nudged her chin up onto my shoulder, leaning on me heavily as she whispered into my neck, “Did you see the way…?” Her question trailed off in giggles, and I couldn’t help but chuckle along with her. “Did you see…the way…” She snorted again. Her inability to get her question out was arguably funnier than the guy’s fall. “Did you see the way his legs flailed as he fell?” She wheezed, and the end of her sentence was an entire octave higher than the beginning.
I was in the middle of laughing aloud in answer, using her shoulder as a muffler, when an unfamiliar voice sounded just in front of us. “Woah.”
My eyebrows caved in. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that woah was directed at us. I looked up, wrapping my arms around June to pull her in tighter, allowing her to stay hidden in my neck as my smile froze and fell. Some guy I vaguely recognized stood only a few feet away, evidently drunk. He may have sat a couple of rows ahead on the opposite side of history class.
“What’s up, dude?” I asked.
He jerked his head to the side, flicking pieces of blonde hair from his face as he pointed a finger straight at us. Fucking rude. I was about to tell him to put that finger away when he slurred, “You two are, like, mortal enemies.”
I shook my head stupidly and squeezed June even harder. “I don’t know, man. I guess not.” I didn’t know what else to say. I just wanted him to leave.
“Yeah,” he said, nodding slowly. “Don’t you two hate each other?”
“Don’t you have your own life to worry about?” June said as she whipped her face out from my shoulder. I leaned my head to the side to give her room, unsurprised by her behavior at this point. My mouth quirked up into a little smile. She was the fucking coolest.
He scoffed. “Whatever. Bitch.”
Oh-ho-ho-ho, no. Oh, hell no. Absolutely fucking not.
I moved June off of me, leaving her on the couch as I stood silently to loom over him. The stiffest irritation I’d ever felt clamped around my heart, my arms hungry to start swinging in a way I’d never experienced. I was never a violent guy but, somehow, this felt entirely justified. Still, I was a foot taller than him and twice as wide, and I was positive he did not want to go there.
“She’s got an attitude, man,” he mumbled, half afraid, half trying to speak through some sort of brocode I didn’t understand.
I really didn’t want to have to lift him by his shirt collar and drop him on his ass, but he was begging for it. Just as my hand reached for him, an elbow nudged me to the right, and June forced her way into my spot.
“Sure do, assface, and he’s the only one who gets to give me shit on it.” She jerked her head in my direction. “Now fuck off or I’ll follow you around all night listing everything that’s visibly wrong with you.”
“Oh, man.” He shook his head, chuckling as he pointed a thumb at June. “Get a load of this chick. You know, you’re lucky you’re ho—”
“Do not even think about finishing that sentence,” I warned.
Before he could continue suggesting that June’s incredible looks were more important than her perfect personality, a seemingly sober friend rushed to his side. The assface tipped into his friend’s shoulder, unable to stand upright.
“Sorry,” the friend said. “We’re out of here.”
“It’s okay,” June said happily, shrugging one shoulder like nothing happened. “I was being a bitch. He just doesn’t get the privilege of pointing it out.” She smiled at the two boys dryly, and I grabbed her arm to drag her somewhere private. I desperately wanted to be alone with her. She was so fucking sweet and fun when she wanted to be, and so strong when she wanted to be, too. I couldn’t possibly express how much I loved that about her.
We ventured off and found a staircase, which we snuck up stealthily. At the top of that staircase, we encountered a hallway, and halfway down that hallway, some type of study with nothing more than a desk, some cushioned chairs, and some bookshelves. The room looked truly collegiate, with dark wooden details and all the makings of an intelligent person’s workspace.
“Kind of an odd room for a college house to have,” she said, peering inside.
“Maybe they’re deep thinkers and scholars, the boys who live here,” I answered.
She giggled. “I doubt it. But I’m certainly not mad about this room.”
“Me neither.” I pushed her in and shut the door, whipping her around to press her back against the wall. “I’m the only one who gets to give you shit, huh?”
She smiled, eyeing my lips as I braced my hands above her head, leaning into her. “Don’t flatter yourself, Oliver. It’s hardly a desirable entitlement.”
“Oh, it is the most desirable entitlement.” I took her mouth in mine slowly, softly, before kissing down her jaw. “What else do I get to do to you, Juni?” I needed her to tell me. We were buzzed at a party with no bed, but despite all that, I was absolutely dying to fuck her. I didn’t want to wait any longer.
“Don’t be cringey, Oliver,” she whispered, pressing her chest into me and wrapping her arms around my neck. The amusement in her voice was evident, and it only made me more desperate.
I picked her up and wrapped her legs around my waist. “I’ll be any way I want. It doesn’t matter. You want to know why?”
“Why?” She ground her hips, her nails dragging through my beard.
“Because you’ll be screaming for me in a matter of seconds regardless. I’m going to fuck you, Juni. Is that what you want?” She nodded, gluing her lips to mine. “Are you drunk?” She shook her head, stealing another kiss. “June, I want to take my time with you, lay you down, taste you… I can’t do that here. I won’t. So, I need you to promise me that if I fuck you against this wall right now, I’ll get all of you next time.”
She pulled back. “You wouldn’t consider fucking me to be getting all of me?”
“No. Not even close.”
◆◆◆
June
Oli began kissing my neck slowly, sliding his lips and tongue over every poor nerve in my body.
“Promise me, June,” he murmured. His teeth closed around my earlobe as he gently placed me back on my feet and pushed my jeans over my hips. I wriggled out of them, and he unzipped his trousers, leaving them around his thighs before picking me back up. My naked legs wrapped his waist, and the emptiness between them became much more noticeable. I needed him to fill it. Urgently. “I’m about to get very mean, June, because I have a lot pent up. So promise me I will get all of you next time.”
“I promise,” I whispered.
We stared at each other for a silent moment, the only noise in the room our breathing when, suddenly, the dam broke. We collided, lips and tongues, devouring each other roughly.
His piercing clicked against my teeth, and he pulled back. “Sorry. I don’t have much practice kissing with it. You’re the only person I’ve ever—”
“You’re doing fine.” I yanked him back in frantically. He groaned and kissed me hard. It was perfect. It was everything I wanted.
After a few moments, he reached into the back pocket of his pants, pushing his hips inward to hold me up against the wall. He pulled out a condom and ripped it open with his teeth.
“I’m on the pill,” I blurted without thought. “And I’ve been tested.”
“I have too,” he said as he kissed me once again. “Not that I ever have sex anyway.” He granted me yet another kiss, but I laughed into this one.
“Me neither,” I said with a giggle.
He smiled. “Probably because of your unbearable attitude.”
I lifted my eyebrows. “And you? What, nobody wants a guy who’s rude as shit and academically inferior?”
His eyes widened, the smile falling from his face. “I am going to fuck that stupid little attitude right out of you.” He held up the condom in one hand. “I brought this for us. Now, tell me what the fuck to do with it.”
I ripped it from his fingers and threw it across the room, pulling him back in. His hands gripped my hips as he backed away from me slightly and placed his cock between my legs. I was entirely suspended against the wall by only his arm strength, his nose rubbing over mine and his mouth dragging over my lips. Time paused for a few seconds. This was really about to happen. Oliver Awad and I were about to fuck.
I tensed into the wall as he slid into me.
“Oli,” I muttered, unable to catch my breath. “It’s hu-uuge.”
He stopped immediately, less than halfway in. “Does it hurt?”
I shook my head.
“Use your words, Juni.”
“No.”
“Good. Then repeat to me what you just said.”
“It—”
“Not it. Me.”
I whimpered. “You’re huge, Oli. You’re hu…” My voice trailed off as he pushed into me fully. His hips reached mine, and it was…it was…perfect.
Fuck the entire fucking universe. I am completely ruined. Nothing will ever feel this good again.
Oliver fit inside of me like a fucking puzzle piece. He hadn’t even started moving yet, and I could feel him hitting places I could hardly hit myself, places deep inside.
“Oliver,” I said with a shaky breath, quivering in his hold.
“Yes, June?” His hips remained still as if he were letting me sit in it, feel it, recognize just how much he was affecting me.
“I wo… I wu-uuh.” It seemed ridiculous, believe me, but I was truly having a hard time speaking. Every time I moved to get a string of words out, my body shifted slightly, reminding me that his insanely perfect cock was touching me right where I needed it to.
“Tell me, June.” He brushed my nose softly with his, pecking my lips with a light touch.
I took a deep breath before letting out what sounded much more like a gasp than a sentence. “I won’t be able to keep quiet.” We were in a house full of people, after all.
His eyes lasered in on my face as he pulled back and thrust into me hard, forcing me to let out a yelp. “You’d better not.” He pulled back and rammed into me once again.
I stared into his eyes as his pushes came harder and harder, picking up speed. Sounds of all types proceeded to escape me as he slammed me against the wall, skin smacking between my legs.
“Good job, Juni,” he murmured against my lips as I whined loudly into the room around us. “Scream for me.”
I did. I did. I did. I couldn’t stop. There was nothing in the world that could have shut me up. Every single thrust hit the perfect spot, and I found my eyes rolling back and my mouth hanging open from the sensation.
“Scream for me, June,” he said again, biting down lightly on the side of my jaw. I was and had no intention of quieting down, but hearing him tell me to do it made it that much better.
“Don’t stop talking to me,” I pleaded, my arms tied around his neck as he fucked me. “Oli, I need to hear your voice. Please, don’t stop.”
He chuckled evilly in my ear. “Where’s all that confidence now, Juni? Finding it hard to keep it together? Tell me how much you fucking hate me.”
“God, I hate you.”
He groaned, gripping my thighs in place. “Hate me all you want. You’re fucking mine, June.”
I shrieked, overtly aware of the shudder his words sent down my spine and the way it clashed perfectly with the tip of his cock hitting me deeply. His delicious moans filled the space around my head. I was simply going to pass out from euphoria. Fuck, how I loved hearing him.
Oli pulled out abruptly and lowered me to my feet before spinning me around with two strong hands and lifting me right back up. He manipulated me like some kind of rag doll, dropping me onto his cock. With my back facing him and my body propped against the wall, he fisted my hair and wrapped an arm around my hips, railing into me as my cheek bounced on the surface in front of me.
“Don’t you love knowing it’s me, Juni?” he teased. “All this time acting like you couldn’t stand me, and now look at you. Such a good girl for me.”
I growled, desperately wanting to fight back but entirely unable to. He had me tangled. At his mercy. And I loved it. I hated it and I loved it. The pressure began to build at the very point he was hitting, a mind-numbing bliss building in my stomach and spreading to the tips of my toes and fingers.
Again, he pulled out, dropped me on my feet, and shoved—shoved—me over to the large, wooden desk of the study. He let me keep one foot on the floor as he grabbed under my thigh and forced my right knee up on top of the desk. He groaned, his fingers digging into my skin as he pushed my torso down onto the surface, bending me in half.
“Fuck, June.” Oli dropped to his knees and buried his face between my legs, devouring my cunt as deliciously as he had my mouth. He took me softly between his teeth, brushing languid circles over my clit with that metal bead.
“Oh my god, Oli.” I couldn’t help but moan for him, and hate that I was moaning for him, and hate that he was making me feel this way, and love that I hated it. It was the most incredible thing I’d ever felt, the ball on his tongue the perfect hardness in the middle of all the softness, applying pressure that had my vision blurring.
“You taste so good.” He finally peeled himself away to stand and sink his cock into me once again. I could feel every inch. The angle at which he fucked me had me absolutely screaming, and I was honestly surprised no one came barreling into the room to save me from being murdered.
My ass burned as his palm came down on it, slapping me once…twice…
“Tell me you love it, Juni,” he ordered, his hips keeping a steady rhythm.
I shook my head.
He wrapped an arm around my torso, ripping me off the desk and pulling me into his front. When I made no true effort to answer, he gripped my cheeks, squeezing them so hard they were practically touching from the inside. “Tell me.” Another slap landed on my ass.
“I love it,” I said through his hold, my whimpers swallowing the sentence up.
He laughed, and my treacherous body began to tighten around this aggravating man. The hand grabbing my cheeks slid down to grip my neck, and the other reached around to tease my clit. “Now tell me what you’re about to do, Juni.”
His cock fucking me, his fingers teasing me, and his hand squeezing my neck created the most maddening concoction of pleasure. I bit my lips together to stop an answer, or any other sounds, from leaving my mouth.
“If you don’t answer me, I’m going to pull out.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck.“I’m gonna come,” I blurted.
“For who?”
I whined loudly, gripping his arms in my fingers, digging my nails into his stupid fucking flannel. My chest heaved as my body quickly raced toward the finish.
“For who?”
“You. I’m gonna come for you, Oli.”
He moaned happily, his satisfaction almost as infuriating as his demands. “Good job.”
“I want you to do it too,” I pleaded with my last hopeless breath. “Please, Oli, please.”
He clutched my neck harder, burying his nose above my ear. “You look so pretty when you beg.”
My pleasure broke, and he began slamming into me faster, squeezing every last sensation out of me, siphoning my energy at full force. I let out my last screams and cries for him, shaking as I felt us pulsing together. He offered his final thrusts, each with a grunt just for me.
I’d lied when I said he was giving me the most delicious orgasm I’d ever had when he touched me in the library. I did. Because this had been it. I was officially ruined.