Chapter Forty – Andie
Chapter Forty
ANDIE
O ur eyes connect for a split second before I rush forward to give Taylor a hug.
‘What are you doing here!?’ I blurt into her shoulder.
‘Hi, Andie,’ Taylor says as we break apart. I can’t decipher her expression, but it seems like I’m more surprised to see her than she is me. ‘Have you been at Jack’s place?’
‘Ah, yes . . .’
‘So things are still good there?’ she asks, linking her arm in my mine and steering us around. ‘The exit is this way.’
Sure enough, I can see the resort’s grand arched entry up ahead.
‘Andie?’ Taylor prompts again, as if I’m the only one who has failed to answer a question.
What is going on?
‘Yeah, I think so,’ I reply. While Jack has occupied my every thought for the last few days, my mind is suddenly elsewhere.
‘I’m so glad!’ Taylor exclaims brightly.
I can tell she is being overly cheerful to cover up something, but I can’t pinpoint what. Maybe she’s upset that I skipped another group activity?
‘I’m sorry I didn’t make it back for movie night . . .’ I offer.
Or perhaps she was worried when I didn’t return home last night and came looking for me? But I haven’t slept at Moorings for the past two nights, and that doesn’t explain why she was in that hotel room . . .
I stop walking and pull my arm away. ‘Taylor. What is going on?’ I demand.
She hesitates, crossing her arms protectively over her chest, and I immediately regret my sharp tone.
‘I have a lot to catch you up on, Ands,’ she says, voice meek now and her blonde hair falling in front of her eyes in a glossy curtain. ‘Can we get back to the house first?’
‘Sure,’ I say softly.
We continue in silence back to Moorings. I’m holding my tongue, itching to pepper her with questions. I’m pretty sure this isn’t about Ben. If it were, wouldn’t she be at Keith’s place? Unless they got a room at Clam Cove?
Taylor waits until we’re seated on the cold sand in front of the house before she speaks.
‘Okay, so Mitch is here.’
‘What do you mean, here?’ I yelp. ‘Like here, here?’ My sleep-deprived brain struggles to catch up.
‘Yup, on Pearl Island. He’s staying at Clam Cove.’
‘Wow. Okay.’
‘I know. He was calling lots – you probably noticed me on my phone, slipping away here and there? I’ve been trying to deal with it quietly, but then he decided to show up here a couple of days ago.’
‘Oh, Tay.’ I take her hand. ‘How do you feel?’
‘Confused. Mostly.’
‘I bet. What’s he saying?’
‘That he wants me back.’
‘Oh, come on! Good luck with that one, mate!’ I spit, perhaps a bit too loudly for this early hour. But I can’t help it – I’m furious. Taylor is finally finding some peace, and here comes Mitch, hurtling in like a wrecking ball on our lovely girls’ holiday, shattering it all.
‘The thing is, Ands, I haven’t told you everything about why we broke up.’ Taylor draws lines in the sand with her index finger.
She hasn’t told me much at all, really. There have been plenty of calls between us, but somehow very little communication. I know I’ve been partly to blame for that, with everything going on. That’s what I was trying to make up for now. I’m eager to reconnect and rekindle the friendship we had in our early twenties, when we didn’t have a worry in the world.
‘We were trying for a baby even before the wedding – like a couple of years before that,’ Taylor continues. ‘That’s why I went off gluten, cleaned up my diet. I tried everything – we even did a few rounds of IVF – but nothing worked. I knew how important having a family was to Mitch, so when it became clear that it probably wasn’t going to happen for us, I proposed. Getting married was never a huge priority for either of us, but I thought it would guarantee he wouldn’t leave me. Apparently, it didn’t.’
I feel sick. Why hasn’t she told me any of this before? Have I been so wrapped up in my own problems that she didn’t feel like she could come to me? I’ve been completely in the dark about a huge, serious chunk of my best friend’s life. How was she around Lizzie’s kids? I rack my brain but I can’t recall any missed birthday parties, or wistful stares.
‘So he dumped you because you couldn’t have his children? Like you’re supposed to be some fucking baby-making machine.’ I’m so angry that my hands are shaking. ‘That’s messed up, Taylor. Shit, I had no idea! I’m so, so sorry.’ I pull her close, the tears that dotted her cheeks soaking into my shoulder. ‘What does he have to say for himself now?’
I used to really like Mitch, so their split did feel like it came out of left field. That’s why the girls and I had speculated that he’d cheated and maybe Taylor was too proud to admit it – but this feels much, much worse.
‘He says that he can live without kids – that if it’s just us for the rest of our lives, then he’s fine with it.’
‘Oh, that’s just wonderful! After putting you through hell and back, now he’s decided that he’s made peace with not carrying on his lineage. What if he backflips again?’ Her body flinches and I draw back to look at her. I can tell from the pain streaked across her face that I’ve hit a nerve.
I soften.
‘Taylor, I obviously don’t know the full extent of your situation,’ I start, taking her hands in mine. ‘I just know that there’s lots of ways to be a mother. And even if you don’t choose that, or it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t devalue who you are. You are no less important. I hate that Mitch has made you feel that way.’
‘He hasn’t,’ she says quietly.
‘Okay, good.’ I breathe a small sigh of relief. ‘Because you are worth a million Mitches, Tay.’
‘It’s a bit more complicated than I’m probably explaining. I’m still processing everything. I’m not sure how to feel. He’s put so much effort into trying to win me back, but it’s also really overwhelming.’
It suddenly hits me that the rose petals Jack and I scattered, and the towel swan hostages that I oddly feel ownership over, were likely meant for Mitch and Taylor.
I smooth out my expression. Right now, my priority is being the best friend I can be. ‘You don’t need to know how you feel yet, Tay. Give it time, and you’ll figure out what’s right for you.’