6. Juniper
My hands are shaking as I close the door and start my car, offering up a little wave to Decker before tearing out of the parking lot.
“Holy shit!” I laugh to myself, proud that I stood my ground and didn’t completely melt into a whimpering puddle of goo. Trust me, on the inside, I’m a complete mess, but maybe playing hard to get is exactly what I need. These last few years, I’ve made my intentions clear as day to Decker Slade, so now it’s his turn. If he wants me, he can work for it. I know my worth, and I also know that he and I are meant to be together. Now he just needs to catch up.
I turn up the radio and sing along to Dua Lipa, reminding myself that the way Decker held me the night he kissed me, the way he looked at me, tasted me, touched me . . . there was so much more behind that kiss, so much left unsaid, that I’m not willing or ready to walk away yet, and he’s delusional if he thinks it was just a mistake.
“Happy birthday!”Milly—Decker and Ranger’s older half-sister—pulls me in for one of her warm bear hugs. Her hugs feel like you’re home; there’s no other way to describe them. She plops a gorgeous box down onto the table and peels her denim jacket from her lean frame. “Now, fill me in on everything since you’ve been home.”
It’s been months since I’ve seen Milly, even though we text almost every day. We like to save all of our stories for when we get together for brunch on a weekend like we have today.
“What’s this?” I reach for the box as we both sit back down at our table.
“Just a little birthday something for you from your favorite bakery back in Boulder.” She says it so casually, like she isn’t the most thoughtful person in the world.
“Milly!” I shake my head, a huge grin on my face as I pull the ribbon away from the box. “You shouldn’t have.”
“It was nothing. Kent and I were in Denver, so I just zipped over to Boulder and picked them up on the way home.”
“You are honestly the sweetest!” I slide the lid off the box and see an array of stunning pastries and croissants. I close my eyes, inhaling the heavenly scent before securing the lid. “I’m not going to lie, I will probably eat half of this in bed tonight, so thank you.”
“Alone?” She wriggles her eyebrows at me as she takes a sip of her coffee.
I panic for a second, confident Decker must have told her about the kiss, but then she mentions the made-up boyfriend I stupidly mentioned to Ranger all those months ago.
“Yes, alone,” I say with a bit of hesitation.
“Oh no.” Her hand darts across the table just as our waiter arrives, giving me time to change the subject.
“Hello, ladies. Can I start you off with some mimosas or coffee?” We put in our usual order, and the second he walks away from our table, I take the opportunity to switch gears.
“So how’s married life? I feel like you and Kent are always so busy these days, always between here and Denver.”
After their whirlwind romance and engagement, it was no surprise when they eloped just a few months later without telling a single person. Her father, Colton, wasn’t too happy about it. He said he wanted to walk his only daughter down the aisle, which I understood.
“Yeah.” She twirls her straw in her water.
“Yeah, what? That didn’t sound good.”
“It’s nothing bad,” her hand drops back down to the table, “but I think since we’ve gotten married, which in itself was dramatic with my dad being upset with us for a few weeks afterward, it feels like more and more, our hearts are leaning toward Denver.”
My eyes almost bug out of my head. “Seriously? But what about taking over your dad’s position with Slade Brewing?”
“It’s been okay. I can manage it with my job at the library just fine, but I can’t manage all of it while trying to spend more time with Kent’s family.” She twirls her straw wrapper in her hand, her eyes drifting down to watch the movements. “I feel terrible, because I thought being here was what I wanted. I was so excited when Kent agreed he was over city life and wanted a fresh start out here.”
“But?”
“I dunno, I guess we’ve changed our minds over the last year. He loves being the in-house counsel for Slade Industries International, but he can do that from Denver, and maybe we’ll just come out this way once a quarter instead of trying to make every other weekend back in Denver work.” I can almost see her shoulders lighten once that’s off her chest. “Sorry, I’m so rude. This is about you and your birthday.”
“No,” now I reach for her hand, “don’t apologize. That’s what best friends are for. But I have to ask: Have you told your dad any of this?”
“Not directly, no.” We pause as our waiter comes back and places our food. “I think he’s catching on, though. He’s noticed I’m more tired lately from running myself ragged.” Her head hangs. “I just feel selfish, like I’m leaving my brothers to do all of the work while I jet off to Denver to go live my life.”
“That is absolutely not the case and you know that—they know that. Don’t feel like a failure. I settled in Boulder after college thinking that was it—that that was where I was going to stay—and then one day, it just hit me: I wanted to move back home. There’s no set path or right way to live your life, Mil. Just do what’s best for you and Kent.”
She laughs. “And just like that, all my worries are gone.” She closes her eyes and runs her hands down and away from her body. “But seriously, every time I talk to you about something I’m in knots over, you talk me right off that ledge.”
“So other than Kent and you figuring out where you want to live, how’s married life?”
She blushes. “Amazing. Kent is just so . . .” she shakes her head, her cheeks growing more red as she sighs, “real is the word I want to use, but that sounds so unromantic and boring. He’s just a genuinely good and kind person all around, and it’s so refreshing. I know he’s so different than all the rough-and-tumble cowboy types around here, but I love that about him.”
“You two feel made for each other. Every time I see you together or catch either of you looking at each other, it feels like love, if that makes sense. It just feels like what love should be.”
Her eyes fill with tears and she fans her face. “And you’re so sweet! You always make me cry.”
We share funny stories about what we’ve been up to and how things are going with my dad’s garage. She tells me all about the fun adventures she and Kent have gone on and how he tried to scare off a moose by saying shoo! loudly.
“Yeah, I think it’s best Kent doesn’t venture too far out into the Colorado wildlife.” We cry with laughter as she tells me more stories about him attempting to ride his first horse several months back.
“Are you doing anything for your birthday? And don’t say this brunch,” she cuts me off before I can answer, because that’s exactly all I’d planned to do to celebrate. “We have to go out! Kent and I are in town this coming weekend for the Fall Fest committee meeting—along with every other Slade, since they all participate—so this would be the perfect time!”
I do miss going out with my friends. Almost every weekend, we’d hit up one of two bars in our hometown to play pool and dance, or we’d hang out at one of the Slade boys’ houses. It felt like those days would never end, but with most of them married with kids now, it makes sense that most have moved on from the good ol’ days.
“That does sound like fun, but I don’t know . . . I’m just so tired lately and everyone probably has plans.”
“Just sent out a group text.”
“Okay, guess we’re going out for my birthday.”
“You should invite your boyfriend! I’ve been dying to meet him since Ranger mentioned you were seeing someone.”
I swallow down the guilt. “About that,” I poke at the last two bites of my omelet, “we aren’t . . . um . . . there isn’t a guy.”
“Was it a long-distance relationship?” She gives me a look of pity. “Trust me, been there, and I totally get it. Sometimes it’s just not worth the effort, but it still sucks to make that decision. How are you doing?”
“Yeah,” I attempt to smile, “I’m okay.”
“Well, you know Deck moved back to town.” She doesn’t say anything else—just gives me the look all my friends give me when mentioning Decker Slade. I guess I should be glad that my legacy here is just having a crush on one of the Slade brothers and nothing actually terrible.
I give a halfhearted laugh and reach for my water. “I do know, but I think that ship has sailed.”
“What? Why?”
“I dunno,” I shrug, “just feels like maybe it’s time to get over my childhood crush and grow up, move on. Deck is amazing and I love him to death—you know that—but let’s be honest, he’ll only ever see me as Juney Riley. To him, I’m just that 16-year-old with braces and a really unfortunate pixie cut who was always trying to catch a glimpse of him at the Fall Fest or one of your family cookouts.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, as much as I love Deck, he’s an idiot if he can’t see how amazing you are. But a tiny part of me,” she hesitates, leaning in closer to me, “is relieved, because we both know he has a reputation with women, and the last thing I’d ever want is for him to break your heart because he’s thinking with his dick.”
I quickly maneuver the conversation away from my love life . . . or lack thereof. It’s not that I want to hide my ever-growing feelings for Decker, it’s that I don’t want everyone else involved. My entire life, my crush has been an ongoing joke, and for once, I want to be seen as an adult, not just the younger-than-everyone-else groupie who tags along because she has a crush on her friend’s brother.
Call me crazy or naive, but I fully believe in true love and happily ever after, and I feel deep in my bones that someday I’ll experience it.