10. Juniper
“Ihope you had a fun birthday celebration.”
Deck’s voice is low and thick, his face only coming into view when we pass beneath a streetlight. He keeps his gaze forward, his arm out straight as his hand rests on top of the steering wheel. My thighs squeeze together, sending a flutter of delicious soreness rippling through my body.
“I did, thank you.” I remind myself to stop saying that. “I had so much fun dancing, and it was great seeing everyone again. Feels like everyone’s usually so busy with babies now that it’s hard to get everyone together.”
“Yeah.”
I sit in silence again, holding myself back from telling him to turn the truck around and take me back to his place, or ask if he’d want to spend the night at my house since my parents are still out of town. But then that feeling comes back: the one where I feel like I’m pretending to play grown-up.
It’s not that I don’t want to spend the night with Decker. I want it more than anything, but I know that with my feelings for him, I would have let myself believe it was more than it was. Even if he’d held me all night, I know that as soon as the light of day shone through those curtains, the illusion would be shattered and regret would fill his eyes. So I took the easy way out.
The gravel crunches beneath the tires of his truck as he rolls to a stop in the driveway, placing the truck in park and looking over at me.
“Thanks again for the ride and the?—”
“Juniper.” His voice stays low, his arm extended down the back of the seat.
“Let’s just leave it as it is,” I say before he can tell me it was a mistake. “A fun night between friends. Got each other out of our systems and whatnot.” I flash him a mischievous grin and laugh, grabbing my purse and opening the passenger door. “Good night.” I wave, sliding off of the seat and bounding up the stairs to my back porch and ducking inside before I let out a ragged breath.
Once I’m alone, I let out the biggest, silliest squeal before running upstairs and flopping onto my bed—the same bed I laid in all those years secretly pining for Decker Slade. But for the first time, I don’t want to run to my friends and tell them. I want to keep it inside—a sacred, private moment between us that I will cherish forever.
“Good morning!”There’s an extra singsong note in my voice this morning that I can’t seem to hide.
“Is it though?” Izzy grumbles, reaching excitedly for the box of donuts I drop onto her desk. “Well, now it is.”
I don’t normally need Izzy to work Saturday mornings, but she agreed since we are transitioning over to a new payroll system.
“It’s beautiful out, birds are chirping, and we only have a half-day today, so that’s pretty amazing.”
“Is that really why?” She takes a huge bite of a pink-frosted donut and sighs. “Or did you hook up with one of the hotties from your party last night?” She snort-laughs when my head whips around to look at her.
“What?”
“Yeah, I heard you were dancing with some sexy tourists last night after I left.” She chews her donut, her eyes focused on me like she expects me to say yes.
“No!” I say a little too enthusiastically. “No, I just danced with them, had some shots.”
“Oh,” she huffs, “damn, I was hoping for a hot hookup story today.
“How’d your date with Noah go?”
She blushes, nodding her head. “It was really good.”
“Will there be a second one?”
“I hope so,” she says, stuffing the rest of her donut into her mouth just as he walks through the door. Her eyes grow wide and her hand darts out to cover her mouth.
“Hey, Noah,” I say, distracting him so she has enough time to swallow and clean the frosting from her lips. “Did you finish up the Sanderson tractor in bay four?”
“Yup, was just coming to give you the finished ticket.” He hands me the clear plastic sleeve and glances over his shoulder toward Izzy, who has managed to not only clean herself up, but also slick on a fresh coat of pink gloss and spritz some perfume all while he was distracted.
“I’ll take that.” She hops up, reaching for it. “I’m scanning all of the documents into the new system today.”
They instantly fall into an easy conversation, both of their faces revealing exactly how they feel about each other. A surge of jealousy courses through me. If Deck walked through the door right now, I guarantee he would do his best to act like he barely even noticed I was standing here.
I turn my attention back to my desk, focusing on work for the next several hours so I’ll have my Saturday evening free to just relax and enjoy some downtime.
Of course I stay a few hours later than intended, but I’m setting myself up for a successful week. By the time I make it home, I’m ready for a shower and my PJs. I take my time, enjoying the scalding water before slipping into my favorite fuzzy socks, an oversized leftover T-shirt from one of the annual Fall Fests, and a pair of old boxers from an ex. I scrounge through the fridge, groaning when I realize my only options are either a grilled cheese or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
“Shit.” I check the milk that’s just past its expiration. “Should have stopped by the store.”
A second later, a knock at the back door startles me so badly, I drop the milk and it explodes on the kitchen floor.
“Shit!” This time I shout, slamming the refrigerator door.
“Juney, you okay in there?” Decker’s voice sounds through the door. The handle turns, but the deadbolt I put in place keeps it from opening.
“Deck?” I run to the door, swinging it open to see him standing with a sack of groceries. “What are you doing here?”
His eyes do that thing again, only this time it’s not lust I see in his eyes. “Cute outfit.” He smiles but it quickly falters when he looks around me to the lake of milk on my kitchen floor. “Jesus, what happened?” he asks, stepping past me and placing the bag on the counter.
“You happened,” I mutter, closing the door behind him. “You scared the shit out of me when you pounded on the door like that, and I dropped it.”
He’s already on his hands and knees with a wad of paper towels to clean it up.
“I’ve got it, really,” I say, trying to push him out of the way, but he doesn’t move. He just continues cleaning it up.
“Why’d you stop by?”
“Thought you could use some food.” He nods toward the grocery bag. “I know you’ve been working yourself ragged since you took over for your dad, and I wanted to make sure you were taking care of yourself too.”
“Oh!” I move toward the bag to peer inside. There’s chicken, steak, fresh fruit, veggies, cheese, and milk, along with a pack of my favorite animal crackers. “You seriously remembered these?” I laugh, holding up the packet so he can see it.
“Are you kidding me? That’s the only thing you’d eat when my mom babysat you growing up.”
I tear the bag open and pop one in my mouth. “Oh my God, just as good as I remember! Here.” I hold the bag out toward him once he stands back up and washes his hands. He slowly wipes them on his jeans before reaching into the bag and grabbing one.
“Good,” he says after chewing it. We stand there awkwardly facing one another, both of us swallowing down our crackers in silence.
“You don’t have to take care of me or anything like that, if that’s what this is.” I know I’ll probably regret this later when I’ve convinced myself he actually came over here for round two, but I know him better than that. This is next day-regret, and these are apology groceries.
“Damn good, actually,” he says, reaching his hand out for the bag and clearly ignoring my comment. I extend it toward him and he snatches it from me, grabbing a handful of crackers. “You should open the milk,” he nods toward the fridge then pauses, “or maybe I should after what you did to the other gallon.”
“I can manage.” I take my time finding a glass in the cabinet, watching as Deck kicks the kitchen chair leg so he can sit down in it. “So is this dinner then?” I place the glass of milk in front of him and take a seat across the table.
“I hope it’s not your dinner; I’ll eat when I’m home. How are things going at the shop?”
“Good,” I sigh, my shoulders relaxing for what feels like the first time today. “I’ve only called my dad in tears twice, so I’d say it’s going pretty well.” We both laugh. “But it really is going well. I mean, still a learning curve with my schedule and all.” I reach for a cracker then fiddle with it between my fingers. “I think the reality of it is, though, that I don’t think it’s something I’d be able to do long term.”
“What do you mean?” He scrunches his brow. “Like maybe you won’t stay here long term?”
“No, just that I can’t imagine doing this and trying to be a mom.”
“You’d have a partner—a husband, who I hope would help you out so you wouldn’t be doing it all alone.”
“True.” My eyes avoid his, and suddenly I feel vulnerable having this conversation. “Or I could hire someone to do the day-to-day stuff, like a general manager, while I come in only twice a week. But then I wouldn’t want to disappoint my dad or?—”
“Hey.” Decker shoots his hand across the table to grab mine. My eyes fall to where he’s slowly dragging his thumb back and forth across my skin. “You’re getting way ahead of yourself. Just relax and focus on what you’re doing right now.”
“You’re right.” I blush, a little embarrassed at how much I shared. I glance at the clock, not wanting him to leave yet, but I’m approaching the unable-to-ignore-my-rumbling-stomach point. “Hey, you brought over two steaks. Why don’t you throw them on the grill, and I can make a side salad?” My heart thuds against my ribs as he contemplates my offer. He glances at the clock and I fully expect him to politely refuse, but his hand drops to his stomach.
“I think that sounds like a good idea. Gas? Charcoal?” He stands and pushes his chair in before walking to the back door.
“Charcoal. Bag should be next to the grill. I’ll season the steaks and start on the salad.”
He gives me a wink that makes my heart flutter, then shuts the door behind him. I try to remain calm, focusing solely on pulling the steaks and veggies from the fridge. I take my time seasoning and tenderizing the meat before plating it to take outside to Deck. I pause, reaching into the fridge to grab him a fresh beer.
“Is it ready?” I hand him the beer, placing the steaks on the counter next to the grill.
“A few more minutes,” he says, eyeing the beer in his hand. “Damn, bringing me steaks and beer?” He takes a long swig. “I could get used to this.”
“Is the bar really that low?” My eyebrow lifts questioningly. “That beer and meat are what it takes to make you consider commitment?” I add the last part as a joke.
His lips curl into a seductive grin as his thick fingers grip the bottle. “The meat and beer were just the cherries on top of last night’s delicious fucking sundae. That’s what I could get used to.” He winks before bringing the beer to his lips.
My mouth goes dry, my knees feel weak, and my face probably says it all. I can sense heat creeping up my neck so fast that even if I turned around now, he’d still see it. I open my mouth to say something—anything—but instead, I just picture last night, looking down and seeing his mouth and tongue doing things to me that no other man has done. Things that made me lose complete control of my body and surrender to his touch.
“Hmm,” he smirks at me, his hand coming up to gently rest beneath my chin, “cat got your tongue, darlin’?” Before I can answer, he swipes his thumb across my bottom lip. “Why don’t you go back inside, focus on that salad, and I’ll take care of the steaks?”
I don’t respond. I just nod as I turn and walk back inside the house on shaking legs.