Chapter 4
Chapter
Four
“There’s a kid over there asking for you,” Nate, one of the new carpenters they’d hired called up to him. Marley was on the roof of the house, rolling out roof felt, getting ready to fix the shingles on top. “Says his name’s James,” Nate added.
Putting his power nail gun down, Marley looked over in the direction that Nate was pointing. Sure enough, there was James Connelly standing right outside the wire fence they always erected around their construction sites. He had his hands jammed in his pockets, and what looked like his school backpack at his feet.
Nobody had let him inside the gate. Good. Marley had spent enough time lecturing the crew about only allowing authorized personnel inside the fence. And even then they had to have a safety briefing and wear construction hats inside the fence. He’d seen enough building accidents to know that careless safety led to injuries.
Climbing down the ladder, Marley nodded at the new guy. “You guys can take a break. Grab a drink.”
“Thanks.” Nate smiled. “Want me to get you a coffee?”
“I’d kill for one.” He’d spent two hours last night on a call out. Nothing major, thank God – a small electrical fire that they’d managed to put out within minutes. But then there’d been the paperwork and making sure everything in the station was tidied up and ready for the next call, which meant he’d crawled into bed at two am.
And of course he’d been up at six, the way he always was. Tonight he was going to sleep like a baby.
Just as soon as he’d done his evening run.
There were always fewer volunteers available for the night time call outs. Most of the fire crew either had kids that they needed to be home for, or they had working hours during the day they couldn’t change. So Marley was always one of the first on a scene after the clock turned midnight.
He was just glad that last night had turned out not to be a big one.
The one they always dreaded. The one they trained week in and week out for.
He pushed that thought out of his head as he pulled open the mesh gate and walked out.
“Hey,” he said to James, pulling his hard hat off and running his fingers through his hair. “Is everything okay?”
“I need you to talk to my mom,” James said, shifting his feet.
“Why? Is there something wrong? Is she hurt?” He frowned, because that thought made his stomach knot.
James shook his head. “No, she’s just refusing to let me join the junior firefighters and train with you on Sundays. I need you to tell her to let me.”
Marley let out a mouthful of air. “I can’t do that,” he told James. “She’s your mom. It’s her decision.”
“But it’s the wrong decision. Dad wanted me to join. He always said he did. You know that. And it’s not like there’s a long line of volunteers lining up outside the fire house.” James looked at him pleadingly, his blue eyes clear and bright. “Please talk to her. I need to do this.”
Marley’s stomach felt tight. He felt a responsibility to this kid. Not just because he was Paul’s son and Paul was gone, but because he’d known James since he was toddling around in diapers.
And now James was the one struggling. And despite knowing that Kate would be pissed if she knew James was here, he couldn’t turn him away. He just couldn’t.
If you decide to start running another route, I’d be absolutely fine with that.
If that wasn’t a brush off, he wasn’t sure what was.
“I guess I could ask her…” he said, trying to think it through. Let’s face it, she already seemed to hate him. Things couldn’t get any worse.
“Please do,” James replied quickly. “I know you’ll make her see sense.”
“Now hang on there,” Marley said, his voice low. “Your mom already sees sense. She must have her reasons for not wanting you to join. I said I’d talk to her, not that I’d be able to make her change her mind.”
But James was already smiling. And looking at Marley like he was some kind of God covered in gray construction dust.
“Thanks, I really appreciate it.” It was the hope in his voice that almost killed Marley. “You’re the best.”
“I’m really not.”
But James was already walking away.
“Ethan, honey, I need to wash that t-shirt,” Kate said to her son as he walked out of the bathroom in his pajamas, carrying the dirty clothes he’d been wearing all day. On top was Paul’s old Hartson’s Creek fire department t-shirt, which Ethan had insisted on wearing to school, even though it was stupidly big on him.
But she hadn’t had the heart to argue with him this morning.
“No, I like the smell,” Ethan protested. “And I want to wear it tomorrow.”
As if a day dealing with the Stitch and Snitch brigade wasn’t tough enough, now she had to deal with her son’s fixation with his dad’s t-shirt. They didn’t teach you about this in the life after grief books.
“You can’t wear it to school tomorrow,” Kate pointed out, trying to keep her voice even. She was frazzled but she wouldn’t let it show. “You wore it today. You have plenty of clothes in your closet that you can wear. Let me clean this one.”
“No.” Ethan frowned, turning around and gripping the clothes tightly. “I’m wearing it.”
There were some fights worth fighting. And others you had to give into gracefully. “We’ll talk about it in the morning,” she conceded, fully planning to sneak into his room once he was asleep and grab it. “Now get into bed. I’ll be in to kiss you soon.”
Thankfully, Addy was already in bed. She was a tired little puppy now that she was at school every day.
As for James, he was studying at a friend’s house, which was a minor miracle. She’d given him strict instructions to be home by nine-thirty.
And to top it off, Addy’s class had a bake sale tomorrow and she’d somehow missed the email the class parents had sent out last week. So, now a batch of very boring, allergen friendly cupcakes were in the oven, ready to be iced when they cooled down, probably at midnight if her luck continued this way.
When the knock at the door came, it made her jump. Assuming James had forgotten his keys, she rushed down the stairs to pull it open.
Only to see Marley Hartson standing on the stoop.
He wasn’t in his usual running gear. Instead, he was wearing jeans and a gray Henley, the fabric tight on his torso, revealing the powerful set of his chest muscles.
She blinked. “You’re wearing too many clothes.”
Okay, that came out the wrong way. But it didn’t seem to faze him. Maybe he didn’t hear her.
“I meant you’re not in your usual running gear,” she added, trying to make it better.
A smile pulled at the corner of his lips.
“I’m not running tonight,” he told her. “I just finished band practice.”
She’d forgotten he drummed in a local band. Did the man have any spare time? Well, quite clearly he did – enough to check up on her every evening.
But he was early tonight.
“If you’re worried about the snakes, I checked the outside of the house,” she told him. “No entry points. And no more snake sightings.”
“I wasn’t worried about the snakes,” he murmured, but there was still a hint of relief in his voice. “Can I come in?” he asked. “There’s something I want to run past you.”
“What is it?” she asked, looking up at his face. She felt hyper aware of this man. Of his height, his strength.
Having him so close made her feel dizzy.
“I just wanted to talk to you about James,” he said. “Give me five minutes, and I’ll be gone. Promise.”
Curious, she stepped aside and let him in. If she’d thought he was overwhelming before, now it felt like all of her senses were being overloaded. The hallway was small and he felt too big for it.
She couldn’t remember the last time a grown man had been in the house, other than her stepfather. Maybe last fall when they had the furnace serviced? Either way, it made her feel off kilter. A little tingly.
“Come on into the living room,” she suggested, mostly because that was the only room that didn’t look like a hurricane had rushed through it.
The room felt cold when they walked inside. She pointed at a chair and he sat down and leant forward, his elbows resting on his long legs. She followed suit, sitting opposite him.
“Is James in trouble?” she asked, because she couldn’t work out why he was here.
“No. But he came to see me at work today.”
She blinked. “James did?” Why would he do that? She felt dizzy, like she was losing control. She didn’t like it.
“He wanted to talk to me about the junior firefighters.”
Of course he did.
“He shouldn’t have interrupted you at work,” she told him. “I’m sorry. I’ll speak to him about it.”
“He really wants to join, Kate. And we really want him there.” Marley ran the pad of his thumb across his chin, capturing her face with his eyes. “And I hate to say it, but I think it’s what Paul would have wanted, too.”
“Paul wanted James to go to college,” she said, trying to keep her voice even. “It was his dream.”
“He can still go to college and be a firefighter,” Marley said softly. “I volunteered all through my four years.”
Suddenly, her heart felt tender. Like somebody had taken it out and pulverized the muscle. The thought of James in a uniform made her want to be sick. “I already told him no,” she said. “And I meant it. He needs to concentrate on his schoolwork. His grades haven’t been great since…” She let out a low sigh.
Marley’s gaze didn’t waver from hers. She felt exposed in a way she didn’t like at all.
“Why not just try it?” he asked her gently. “See if he can combine it with his studies? If it doesn’t work, no harm no foul.”
Every word he said made sense. And yet she couldn’t agree to this. She wouldn’t be able to cope if James got hurt. And yes, she knew they were careful with the junior firefighters. But she also knew that as soon as he turned sixteen he could join the official volunteer team. He would go on call outs, do almost everything a firefighter could do.
A ragged breath escaped her lips. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”
Marley’s face was full of compassion and she hated that. She’d have preferred he fought her, made her angry. Because she was so full of damn emotions she wasn’t sure she could keep them all in.
And then the screaming started from upstairs. Not the scary kind. The sort that told her that Addy and Ethan had both gotten out of bed and in the middle of an angry spat that only six- and eight-year-olds could have. She squeezed her eyes shut. “I need to go.”
Addy screamed again, and it was blood curdling this time.
“Sorry.” Kate ran out of the living room and up the stairs, all too aware of how this must seem to Marley. He must think she had no control over her kids. One of them was sneaking out to complain about her. And the other two sounded like they were starting World War Three.
She’d pay a million dollars for a drink and a spa day right now.
“Mommy,” Addy called out as Kate stomped into Ethan’s room. “Ethan won’t give me Daddy’s t-shirt.”
Oh, damn that t-shirt. Why had she ever pulled it out of the closet in the first place?
“It’s mine,” Ethan said, baring his teeth at his sister. “Get out of my room before I push you out.”
“I hate you,” Addy screamed at him. “Daddy hates you too.”
Kate reached for her daughter. “Come on now, that’s not true. And you should be in bed.”
“I want a t-shirt. Ethan has one.”
Of course she did. “Come with me,” she told Addy, reaching for her daughter’s tiny shoulders. “We’ll go find one.” She looked at Ethan, who’d gone completely quiet. Tears were falling down his face.
“Oh, honey.” Her heart clenched for him. “Come here.”
He shook his head.
“Tell him you’re sorry for what you said,” she whispered in her daughter’s ear.
And because they were good kids, even though they’d been through so much pain, Addy croaked out an apology.
“Please don’t cry, Ethey,” she whispered, throwing her arms around her brother. “You can keep the t-shirt.”
“Kate?” Marley called from downstairs.
“Who’s that?” Addy asked.
“Marley Hartson. He just popped in to ask me about something.”
“Something smells like it’s burning,” Marley shouted, his voice louder now. “Do you have something in the oven?”
Oh crap. The cupcakes. Could anything else go wrong tonight?
“Can you get yourselves back into bed?” she asked her kids, praying that this time they’d listen. “We’ll talk about t-shirts tomorrow.”
“I want a firefighter one, too,” Addy said.
Of course she did. And Kate knew for sure that she didn’t have another one of those.
She ran out of Ethan’s room and down the stairs. Marley was already in the kitchen, pulling out the cupcakes. Smoke rushed from the oven, and as it dissipated she could see that the tops of the once yellow cakes were ash black.
For a moment she couldn’t react. It was like she was struck dumb. Is this what her life had become? Bouncing from one little disaster to another?
Her shoulders slumped because some days were just too hard. She wanted to crawl under a stone and never come out.
“What do you want me to do with these?” Marley asked, glancing at the blackened cakes in his hands.
“Throw them away.” Her voice was thick. And that’s when the tears started to roll down her cheeks. Because there was only so much she could take.
She was strong. Or she tried to be. And yes she knew she wasn’t exactly winning any mom-of-the-year awards, but she loved her kids. She was trying so hard to make them happy.
Marley pulled open the trashcan and slid the charred cakes in before putting the tray on the stovetop. And then he walked toward her, his brows knitting, reaching out to wipe away her tears.
“Hey,” he said softly. “It’s just some cupcakes. They don’t matter.”
That just made her cry harder.
“Yes they do. They’re for Addy’s bake sale. I’m going to have to cook more. Or I would, but I’m out of flour.” And let’s face it, no local store was still open for her to get some new stuff tonight.
And then it kept coming. “And my youngest kids are in some kind of battle to the death over Paul’s old t-shirt, and James hates me and is going behind my back because I can’t bring myself to let him join training.”
Why was she telling him this? He didn’t care. And she’d spent the last year and a half making sure he had no idea how hard her life was.
Without a warning, Marley folded his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. She was surrounded by him; her face pressed against his gray Henley, her body way too close against his. With one hand he stroked her back, while the other cupped the back of her head.
When was the last time she’d been held like this? She could smell the soft fragrance of whatever laundry soap Marley used, could feel the heat of his skin through the thin fabric of his top. It made her feel light-headed.
And yet she didn’t pull away. Instead, she cried into his shirt, letting him soothe her, his voice soft as he whispered words she couldn’t quite hear.
She wasn’t used to this. To being held for so long. By a man that wasn’t her husband. Or related to her. But it felt good. Too good.
There was a little flutter deep inside her belly. Like something waking up from a long sleep.
“Mom?” The front door slammed shut. “Is something burning?”
The sound of James’ voice was enough to bring her to her senses. Within a heartbeat she was stepping back, breaking Marley’s embrace, and lifting her hand up to wipe the tears away because she couldn’t have her eldest son seeing her like this.
“I burned some cupcakes, nothing to worry about,” she shouted back to him, right as he walked through the kitchen door.
Marley’s shirt was damp in the center of his chest. And he was still standing there, this mountain of a man who felt like comfort and fear at the same time. Looking at her, his lips pressed together.
“Hey,” James said to him, walking into the kitchen and grabbing an apple, biting into it without even taking a breath. “Saw your truck outside. Everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” Marley said. “I’m just heading out.” He looked at Kate. “And your mom is going to take a bath and go to bed.”
She wanted to laugh because there was no chance of that happening. She was sure she still needed to calm Addy and Ethan down, and then she needed to get to bed early so she could rush to a bakery first thing and pick up a dozen or two cupcakes.
“Okay.” James nodded, giving Marley a pointed look. “You two been talking about anything interesting?”
Marley looked back at him, calm as anything. “No. Nothing important at all.”