Chapter 10
Chapter
Ten
At first Kate thought she must have missed Marley when he ran past her house on Monday and Tuesday. It had been lightly raining on both days, and Ethan had a project due at the end of the week that the whole family had worked on. He had to make a poster about the wildlife found in West Virginia. It had been spread out on the kitchen table every night as she, Ethan, and sometimes James, stuck pieces of information and pictures on it.
Maybe it was a good thing she hadn’t seen Marley. Ever since his body had pressed against hers on Friday night, her head had felt a little messed up.
Because she couldn’t be attracted to Marley Hartson. She just couldn’t.
And yet on Wednesday night she sat out on the porch with a book and a glass of wine. James was studying and Ethan and Addy were in bed. She figured it would be a good time to try to make things right between her and Marley. She could maybe laugh and joke with him as he ran by.
But he didn’t come. And for some reason she hated that.
By Thursday she knew he was avoiding them. And she didn’t like it one bit. The kids were noticing, too. Addy had drawn a picture of him playing the drums and she wanted to give it to him.
So Kate sucked it up and messaged him.
Hi! Hope all is good with you. Haven’t seen you for a few nights so I thought I’d message. Are you running past tonight? Addy has a drawing she made for you. – Kate.
She was at work when she got the reply. It was Stitch and Snitch day and she was getting the room ready when her phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out, her brows knitting as she read the reply.
Probably not tonight. Give my thanks to Addy. I’ll come over as soon as I can to grab it. – Marley.
It was stupid how disappointed she felt as she read the words. Like they’d formed a fist and punched her in the chest. Of course he didn’t have to come over if he didn’t want to. He was a free man, after all. He could do whatever he wanted.
Maybe he could sense she was getting attached to him.
Oh God, he probably saw her as some kind of millstone. Paul’s poor wife. Nothing more.
He didn’t want her. He felt sorry for her.
And the thought of that made her want to vomit.
She didn’t need sympathy. She’d had more than her share of that. And yes, sometimes she still felt fragile. But she was trying so hard to rebuild her life. Determined to be the strong one, for her kids and for herself.
Finally, the room was all set up. The chairs were set in a circle. There were only eight of them. She closed the door and checked her watch. Stitch and Snitch was due to start in half an hour. Before they arrived, she needed to go through the book orders for the month, so she sat down at the desk and opened up her library issued laptop.
“All ready for them?” Shana asked, leaning on the desk, a grin on her face. She’d popped in on her way to grab a coffee.
Kate nodded, making herself smile because the last thing she needed was the third degree from her best friend. She didn’t want to talk about Marley with her. Or anybody, really.
And then she remembered their conversation from the other Sunday. About the dating app Shana had signed her up for.
“Can I ask you something?” she said to her friend, a decision forming in her mind. She needed to stop thinking about Marley Hartson. This had to be the way.
“Of course but I might not answer.” Shana winked at her.
Kate took a deep breath. “You know that dating app?”
Shana sighed. “Okay, I’ll delete it. But you’re missing out.”
Kate felt her heart start to thump against her chest. “You didn’t delete it yet?”
“Don’t hate me but no.” Her friend looked sheepish. “I was hoping you’d change your mind.”
Kate looked her in the eye. “I have. Because you’re right. It’s time to start getting out there.”
“Seriously?” Shana’s face lit up. “Oh my God, we’re gonna have so much fun. You should see this guy who matched with you last night. Seriously good looking.”
“You’ve been checking out the matches?” Kate asked, shaking her head. “Why don’t you pay this much attention to your own love life?”
“Because yours is more enjoyable.” Shana grinned. “And I’m officially inviting myself to dinner at yours tomorrow night. I’ll show you how to download it onto your phone.”
“Not in front of the kids.”
Shana rolled her eyes. “Of course not. But maybe it’s time to start dropping hints to them that you’re thinking about dating again.”
It already felt like too much. But Shana looked so excited she couldn’t bring herself to say that.
She’d download the stupid app, and then she’d probably ignore it for a while.
“Come over at six tomorrow,” she told her friend, resigning herself to her fate.
“Perfect.” Shana’s eyes danced with excitement. “I’ll bring the alcohol.”
The weather was so good on Friday that Kate decided to pull out the old barbecue from the garage. They hadn’t used it in over a year and you could tell. It was a little rusty, more than a little dusty, and when she lifted the lid the inside was a whole lot greasy. It took almost an hour to clean it up, but the propane tank was still half full and the burners lit on the first press.
The physical exertion from scrubbing it felt good. She needed it. To work off the excess energy she’d been feeling more and more every day.
“Are we grilling tonight?” Ethan asked as he walked through the kitchen door to the yard. He looked excited. He had a weird fascination with fire. And then that made her think of James’ party, and then of Marley bringing him home.
Ugh. She needed to stop thinking about him.
“Yes we are.” She nodded.
“Can you grill?” Ethan asked her. “Didn’t Dad used to do it?”
She swallowed hard. “Yes, he did, but now I’m doing it.”
“Okay.” Ethan shrugged. “Want some help?”
“Sure.” She gave him a big smile. “First of all, we need to do the prep. Make the burgers, cut up some onion. Make some salad to go with it.”
He wrinkled his nose. “I meant with the grill.”
“I know you did. But there’s no grilling without food preparation.” And she was trying to raise boys who knew that a cookout didn’t start with lighting a fire. “Come on, I’ll show you. It’s fun, I promise.”
And it was fun. They put on some music – Springsteen at his eighties finest – and Addy joined them, though she seemed to think food prep meant mostly eating the carrots that Kate was cutting up. Ethan washed the lettuce, and had a whale of a time spinning it around in the special bag to dry it, pretending he was about to throw a discus.
They were nearly ready to start the grill up when Shana knocked on the door. She was carrying some bottles of wine and cans of soda plus some sprinkled donuts she’d picked up from the local bakery, and Ethan and Addy threw themselves at her before she was even through the front door.
“Here, you take these,” Shana said when they finally let her go, passing the donuts to Addy. “And these are heavier,” Shana warned as Ethan took the cans of soda.
“Want me to take the wine too?” he asked Shana, a grin on his face.
“Nope. I’m keeping hold of these.” She strode into the kitchen where Kate was washing her hands. “Abba, I approve.”
“We had Springsteen on earlier. Decided to have a dance party while we prepped.”
Shana grinned. “I approve of that, too.” She grabbed two wine glasses from Kate’s cupboard.
“None for me yet. I’ll wait until after the grilling is done,” Kate said, because you didn’t marry a fireman and mess around when it came to barbecues.
“Ooh, we’re having a cookout?”
“Yep.”
“I should have brought ingredients for smores. Damn.” Shana wrinkled her nose.
“Next time,” Kate said firmly, aware that Ethan and Addy were getting more excited by the minute. “The donuts look perfect.”
“Where’s James?” Shana asked, as Kate started carrying the food out to the old table they’d set up on the back patio.
“Finishing his homework. He’ll be down in a minute.” Kate hunkered down to turn the propane back on. “Okay, everybody stand back.”
“Can I turn it on?” Ethan asked.
“No. Just wait. I’ll let you help me cook once the flames are ready.”
To her amazement he didn’t argue with her. Just nodded and watched her intently as she pressed the ignition and the burners came to life.
“Let’s get an apron on you,” she said to Ethan. “And some heat resistant gloves. And you have to promise to do exactly what I say when you’re near the grill, understand?”
“Of course.”
Shana and Addy started setting the table as Kate slowly showed Ethan how to slide each burger onto the long-handled turner, then slowly shake it so the patty set nicely on the rack over the hot flames. They did the first together, then he did the second on his own.
The third somehow slid between the grill rack and onto the burner.
“Oh shit.” His eyes widened as he realized he’d said that out loud.
“Language,” Kate murmured, though she knew she’d said worse herself. And in front of him, no doubt. “It’s okay, we have extra. Let’s get the rest on and I’ll rescue that one later.”
The sun was still beating warmth into the air when they sat down to eat. Ethan kept asking everybody how it tasted, reminding them that he’d cooked dinner.
“You know the penalty for losing a burger to the fire, right?” James asked, having eaten his own burger in about a minute flat. Kate pointed at his salad with a raised eye and he forked up some cucumber.
“There’s a penalty?” Ethan asked, frowning. “Nobody told me that.”
“You have to eat the charcoal patty,” James told him. “No ketchup, no bun. Just burned cow.”
Ethan blinked. “I don’t have to do that, do I, Mom?”
“No you don’t.” She rolled her eyes at James. “And you did great. It tastes good.”
James winked at him. “Just kidding. And yeah, you’re a pretty cool cook.”
Ethan glowed in the light of his brother’s rare praise.
Kate took a sip of her wine and looked around the table.
Addy had made a person out of her cucumber, tomato, and carrot sticks and was eating them, limb by limb, giving a soft running commentary as she popped each vegetable into her mouth.
“Carrot legs are good, mmm.” She swallowed. “Cucumber arms. So delicious.”
Shana met Kate’s eye, grinning.
James and Ethan were talking about what they could grill next week. They were stuck between more burgers – Ethan’s choice – and kebabs – James’ choice.
Kate let out a contented breath. Everybody was happy, they were full. They were here and they were safe.
And yes, there was somebody missing. But she was doing okay. They all were. Step by step they were building a new life.
A good life. She hoped he was proud of them.
“Come on, let’s clear up the dishes,” she said, when Addy had finished her tomato-head and James had eaten the half burger she didn’t finish. “Then we can have donuts.”
“Can we warm them up on the grill?” Ethan asked, a spark of hope in his voice.
“Not this time, honey. But I promise we’ll do smores next time.”
“Yes!” He pumped his fist into the air. “I’ll be in charge of them, too.”
“Alone at last,” Shana said two hours later as Kate sat down next to her on the Adirondack chairs that faced the fields and the setting sun. As it slipped below the horizon, it was turning the cornfields into a golden vista.
“I poured you another glass.” Shana passed Kate some wine. “I figured you’d need it.”
“Because I just spent twenty minutes arguing with Ethan that he wasn’t allowed to light the grill again?” Kate asked, smiling. He and Addy were finally in bed, though she’d agreed that Ethan could stay up to read for an hour. She hadn’t told Addy that though, because her little girl would have thrown a fit.
Sometimes being the mom of three kids felt harder than being a diplomat for the United Nations. At least James had been easy. She’d agreed he could play on his Xbox for an hour, but not with his friends. He was still grounded – in name at least.
He hadn’t put up much of a fight and she was glad.
“No, because we’re about to choose your first date,” Shana said, holding her phone up. “By the way, have you downloaded the app yet?”
“No. I haven’t had a chance.”
“Do it later. I’ll send you the login details. In the meantime, what about this guy? He’s thirty-eight. Works in a bank.” Shana held her phone up. There was a photograph of a non-descript guy in a white shirt. He looked…nice, Kate guessed.
“Does he have kids?” she asked.
Shana blinked. “I don’t know. Does it matter?”
“I’m not sure. But he has a moustache. I’m not sure I like moustaches. Who else is there?”
They went through all of Shana’s choices. Ryan, who ran his own software business and had a three-year-old daughter. Sam who had two grown sons and was in his late forties, looking for somebody to ‘make memories’ with. And Luke who hadn’t stated his job, but his photo was of him sitting in an expensive sports car which put Kate off completely.
“You couldn’t fit Addy’s car seat in the back.”
Shana rolled her eyes. “That’s not what you’d be doing in the backseat,” she teased. “No car seats needed for that.”
Kate wrinkled her nose. “I’m not having sex in the backseat of some stranger’s car. Anyway, it’s probably not even his car. Look at those plates, they’re not West Virginia ones.”
Shana laughed. “You’ve found an excuse for every single one of them. You need to give them a chance before you make up your mind.”
“But there’s no point in wasting their time or mine,” Kate pointed out.
“What if they’re great in bed?”
Kate’s mouth felt dry. “That doesn’t matter if you’re not compatible.”
“I thought you wanted something casual. If you’re looking for Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right Now we might need to take a whole new approach,” Shana said, sounding a little too certain for Kate’s liking.
“Like what?” She was getting wary now. And yeah, maybe it still felt a little too soon. Her chest was tight, like somebody was pulling at her.
“I don’t know. I’ll think about it. But why not just choose one of these for next week? Pop your cherry. Get it over with.”
“You make it sound so romantic,” Kate teased.
“It’s more romantic than sitting at home on your own.”
“I’m never on my own. I have three kids.” And didn’t she know it?
“Mom! Somebody’s at the door!” James was leaning out of his window, his Xbox controller in his hands.
“What? Who is it?” she called back up, grateful that she and Shana had been talking in low voices. Not that James would have noticed. He was wearing headphones. The only reason he could hear the doorbell was because she’d put a ringer upstairs.
“No idea.” His job done, James closed the window, presumably going back to whatever game he was playing.
“Stay here, I’ll be right back,” Kate told Shana.
“Oh, I’m not going anywhere until we’ve chosen a date for you,” Shana promised.
Kate let out a breath. She’d worry about that fight later. The dishwasher had finished and was flashing as she walked through the kitchen and into the hallway, almost tripping over Ethan’s shoes. She picked them up and put them in the closet, then opened the door, blinking when she saw Marley Hartson standing on her porch.
It had been a week since she’d seen him at the concert but the time had done nothing to temper her response to him. It was like it was inbuilt now, a reflex reaction to her eyes catching his.
“You’re not in your running clothes,” she said, because she couldn’t think of any other words to say.
Or maybe she could, but they all sounded wrong. Where have you been? Have you been ignoring me?
“Can I come in?” he asked her. “I thought I’d stop by and pick up Addy’s picture.”
“Sure.” She wasn’t going to feel disappointed that Addy was the reason he was here. It was sweet and kind and her daughter would be happy. That was enough. “It’s in the kitchen.”
She turned and walked down the hallway, hearing the click of the door as he closed it behind them both. God, she was pleased to see him, but she really didn’t want him to see how much.
Because she’d made the decision to move on. That’s what she and Shana had been doing for the last hour, after all.
When they got into the kitchen, Shana was already there, topping up their wine glasses. She looked from Kate to Marley.
“Hi.” Shana’s voice betrayed no surprise at seeing him. “Want a glass?” she asked, holding up the wine bottle.
He shook his head. “I’m driving.”
“I brought soda, too.” Shana grinned. “For the boring people.”
“Yeah.” Marley nodded. “That sounds good.”
“Here’s the picture,” Kate said, passing him the white paper with Addy’s drawing on the front.
Marley took it and stared at it, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. “It’s great,” he said.
He sounded genuine. Shana shot her an amused look.
“Addy will be happy you came to get it.”
“Is she awake for me to say thank you?” he asked. His voice was as soft as wool.
Kate shook her head. “She’s asleep. But I’ll pass it on in the morning.”
“Thanks.” He took the can of soda Shana was holding out and popped the cap, taking a long drink. “She’s a good artist.”
“She’ll be very pleased to hear that,” Kate said dryly. “She ate her latest creation for dinner.”
“Hannibal the painter,” Marley said and Kate laughed.
Shana looked at him. “While you’re here, can we get your opinion on something?” Shana said. Kate shot her a confused look and Shana shrugged. “We need a man’s opinion. Kate’s thinking about dating again and we’re trying to find the right guy.”
Kate shot her a dirty look.
Thanks Shana, this was just what she needed.
“Come outside and sit with us.” Shana shot Marley a wicked grin. “And tell me, if a guy has a sports car, what’s the back seat for?”