3. Chapter Three
Chapter Three
Caiden
S weat beads down my forehead and I rub it away with the back of my gloved hand. The weight of the stones I’m laying has a warm ache squeezing my calf muscles every time I bend to pick one up. Taking a moment to stretch, I shield my eyes from the blinding sun, startling when a hand lands softly on my shoulder.
“Didn’t mean to startle you, hun. It looks like you could do with something cold.” Margery peers up at me, her silver hair shining in the bright sunlight. She holds out a tall glass of water, condensation dripping down the sides, ice clinking together and a slice of lemon balancing on the side. I hadn’t realised just how thirsty I was, the sight of the cold drink enough to have my dry mouth salivating. I take the drink with a muted ‘thank you’ and finish the entire glass in three large gulps.
“You’re right, I did need that.”
Margery looks at the area I’m working on, her head tipping from side to side while she tries to determine exactly what it is I’m doing. I finished the garden here at Hopewood Lodge last year, but this is something new that came to me one night and with permission from management it’s become my little side project. By the time I’m done, there will be a beautiful water feature in this spot. Complete with LED lights and hardy, all weather plants that don't require much work.
Being here, outside in the fresh air, where my mind is focused on something other than the shitstorm that is my life, is the distraction I need. A pang of jealousy steals my breath momentarily when images of my twin and Jamie smiling at each other come to mind, uninvited. The two of them have become inseparable in the month since we were introduced to our new family.
I see the heart eyes my twin flashes at the annoying brunet and I don’t get it, really, I don’t. Jamie Durand is annoying as fuck. He’s too perfect and no one is that perfect, not without having some darkness hiding somewhere. Oh, but all my dad and Coop see is the golden boy who loves his mother, who focuses on his school work and who tells these awful fucking jokes that Cooper eats up like they give him life. Jamie thinks he’s so fucking funny.
Newsflash - he’s not.
Jealousy swells into anger, my body going tense and rigid; a visceral reaction I seem to have whenever Jamie invades my thoughts. It’s not until Margery’s cheery voice pulls me from my downward spiral that I realise I completely zoned out and missed her question.
“Sorry Marge, this heat must be getting to me,” I apologise.
She smiles, a warm, comforting tilt of her lips and a knowing look in her eyes that tells me she’s on to me and isn’t buying my story. I should know better than to lie to a retired school teacher who, from the stories she's told me, has seen some shit in her lifetime.
“Sure, hun. Why don’t you come sit with me on the patio and tell me what’s really got you clenching your jaw so hard, I fear for your pretty teeth.”
I flash said teeth at her in a smile that is far from genuine but she just chuckles and grabs my arm. “Come, help an old dear to her seat.”
Despite the swirling, tumbling, turbulent emotions I spend my life warring with, I can’t help but relax a little in Margery’s company. Taking her arm, I breath in her rose scent, feeling my muscles unfurl as we walk to the outdoor seating area. The scent of summer flowers hangs in the air and my lungs expand as I breathe it in while taking in the beauty of the scene I helped create.
Margery and I sit but I don’t offer her anything - I don’t particularly like talking about me or my feelings. So instead, we sit in silence until she gets fed up and breaks it, getting straight to the point.
“What’s got you so worked up? Don’t think I don’t understand why you’re really here on a sunny Saturday afternoon. I know a need for distraction when I see it.” She hits the nail on the head with that comment.
“My dad is getting remarried.” That’s the start of it and for now, it’s enough.
“And you don’t like his new lady? Or….”
I shake my head though it’s not really an answer. Margery raises an eyebrow at me, her lips pursed into a straight line as she waves her hand for me to continue.
“She’s nice.” I’m not about to barrel into a discussion about how my parents shouldn’t have gotten divorced in the first place, about how my dad wrecked their marriage and how this is all so fucking unfair. Instead I add, “But she has a son who is….” He’s what? Annoying? Charming? Stupidly attached to my twin? So intriguing and gorgeous, I want to hate him because that’s the safest reaction?
Fuck no, what? Jamie is neither of those things.
“Take a breath, Caiden, before I have to call a nurse to check your blood pressure,” Margery says with a pat on my knee. I look at her wrinkled skin that tells stories of a life lived then back at her, meeting her kind gaze.
“I just don’t like him. My twin does though, and they spend all their time together.” I know I sound like a petulant child when those words come out.
“So you’re jealous? That’s reasonable. Just get over it.”
My mouth opens like a fish gasping for air before I scoff. “That’s all the advice you have for me? Get over it?”
She shrugs and it’s so fucking endearing that I want to wrap her in a huge hug.
“He’s not going anywhere, your twin is obviously happy. Hate him in silence if you have to. But there’s really nothing you can do. Maybe learning to accept his presence in your space is the only option.” She shrugs again before adding, “I never said I was good at advice but the way I see it, you say you don’t like him but you’re giving him a lot of power over your feelings.”
God, if only this sweet old lady knew how powerfully my feelings control me.
“You really do suck at this advice thing.” I shake my head then lean back and close my eyes. The sun shines brightly behind my closed lids and I sit, letting stillness settle in my soul. Even if it’s bound to be short lived and the darkness that threatens to drown me will soon creep back in.
For now, this stillness is the calm I need.