Chapter 4
The midnight moon hungin the sky, casting a silver glow over the private part of the hotel. Olivia sat close to the beach, curled in on herself, as she absentmindedly watched the waves hit the shore and then rolled back over and over in an almost hypnotic way.
The chilly night air bit into her skin in a way that was almost painful, but she barely noticed. Today officially marked exactly three weeks since the scandal and also the longest she had ever gone without speaking to her confidant and best friend, Ava.
It hurt.
It hurt so badly to think that she didn’t have that anymore, especially because she had tried to reach out, even when she knew it was useless. They’d always joked about the fact that nothing could separate them and had gone through literal hell together, only to end up here, with one friend’s betrayal hanging between them.
What sucked the most is that this is the kind of thing she would spend hours talking to Ava about until the heaviness in her heart had lessened. This reminder only served to keep her in a loop of sadness and bad reminders until it felt like the tears she had been holding at bay for so long were choking her now. The only comfort she found was with the tiny pendant around her neck that she played with. It was a necklace that used to belong to her mother and held a picture of the two of them.
Olivia remembered the days when she was a child and would run to her mother for anything. Her mother used to hold her and walk her through whatever she was facing, effortlessly making everything better. Now, as an adult who was facing, quite literally, the hardest thing she ever had to go through, she wished upon everything holy that her mother was there to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay.
And yet, the pendant was a reminder that she wasn’t there anymore. It especially reminded her how disappointed her mother would be in the person she had become and the choices she had made that brought her here now. And it was with that reminder that Olivia finally broke down. The heaviness in her heart multiplied tenfold when she thought of how disappointed her mother would be in her.
Her pain-filled sobs carried into the night, as she curled in on herself even tighter, feeling the fight drain out of her with how long she had tried to be strong.
If her father was there, he would tell her to suck it up and hold her head high. He’d remind her she was a Clarke and “Clarkes don’t show their weakness ever.” That’s what he’d been saying to her since the scandal.
Once again, the reminder of the reality of her life made her miss her mother because she would have understood. She wouldn’t tell Olivia to suck it up. Instead, she’d hold her as she cried and then help her fix her mistakes. According to her father, she should ignore it all until it went away.
Olivia pulled her legs even further into her body, attempting to seek comfort where there was none and sinking into the misery of her loneliness. She let out all the humiliation she’d felt since she woke up and realized her face was all over the news. She let out the pain and panic that had driven her to seek out Ava, only to be shut out, and she especially let out the helplessness she couldn’t ignore, as it felt like control of her life slipped away.
* * *
A lot of things hadbothered Nikos since he got home. The unfamiliarity of his childhood home, that he kept meeting people he didn’t know who seemed to know everything about him—courtesy of his grandparents, of course—and the fact that he was sharing his living space with a stranger. But, perhaps, more than anything, it was the fact that he was lying to his papous, who for all he knew, Nikos was back to take over the family business.
His grandparents had asked him time and again to come home and he always said he had something to do, but now that he was here, of course, they thought he was back for good. What had once been a sanctuary now felt like a place of torture, as the quietness in his house did nothing to silence his running thoughts.
Back in New York, he never had to focus on his thoughts because the sounds of an active city helped drown them out more often than not. And now, that was all he could focus on.
The door to the balcony of his room was wide open. The biting night air reached him from his double bed and yet he felt hot, uncomfortably so. There was something about not being honest with his grandparents that just didn’t sit right with him. He wasn’t even lying at all. He just wasn’t telling the truth, but that still felt like lying.
Nikos tried to think of what he could do to make it better because telling the truth about his intentions was out of the question. Maybe if I fall asleep, I’ll wake up feeling better, he thought.
The more Nikos thought about it, the more it made sense, so he threw the blanket that was wrapped around his torso off and jumped out of bed. He was too worked up to fall asleep, so he needed to at least relax, and he knew just the place he should go.
The beach had a calming effect that the more he thought about it, the more he realized just how much he had missed being here. When he was a child, his father would take him out there and they’d just sit around, listening to the waves—something that his mother didn’t like. She would fuss over him, wanting them both to cover up and come back inside after only a few minutes. And yet, every night, his father would take him back out and they’d just sit around. Or, at least, his father sat around.
Nikos was the typical child who could not stay still for more than a few minutes. Sometimes, his grandparents joined them too, but more often than not, it was just him and his dad.
It had taken him a long time to go back to the beach after he lost his parents because all it had done was remind him that his father wasn’t with him anymore. But he’d worked up the courage before he left the island altogether. Now, as he made his way toward the beach, shoes in hand, he looked forward to connecting with the feeling that always settled over him when he was by the water.
However, before he made it to the spot where the sea met the sand on his private side of the hotel, he heard the sounds of silent sobs. Stopping for a second, right before his feet hit the white sand, Nikos looked around for where the sounds were coming from. Just a short distance ahead of him, he saw a woman sitting right by the spot where the after met the sand, shoulders shaking as she curled up into the fetal position.
He wanted to take a step and check on her, but she let out another wail that was so gut wrenching that it stopped him in his tracks. Nikos looked around, checking to see if anyone else was around before he remembered this part of the beach was closed off from the public. So, the crying woman had to be his roommate, right?
It made sense given the shiny red hair, but she confirmed her identity when she lifted her head, looked around like she remembered she was not in the privacy of her own home, and then broke down once again.
Ever since he met her, he had brushed her off as a spoiled princess who was used to getting everything she wanted. She even walked around like she was untouchable, and yet, right now, she looked anything but untouchable. He debated if he should check on her but, ultimately, walked to a different area of the beach to tire himself out.
* * *
When he walked intothe kitchen the next day, he was surprised to find her already sitting there so early in the morning. He was certain he had gone to bed before her. He would never admit it, but he’d ended up checking on her once again before he went to bed.
“Good morning,” she said, startling him.
“Good morning,” Nikos echoed, looking at her suspiciously.
“I made coffee. You want some?” she followed up as she got up from the kitchen stool.
“I got it,” he said, stopping her from pouring him a cup, and made his way toward the counter. This is the longest she has gone without being haughty and he was officially suspicious.
“I never got your name,” he heard her say behind him as he fidgeted with the cups.
“Nikos,” he answered after an extended pause.
When she didn’t follow up with another question or statement, he finally turned and looked at her, really taking her in.
She looked... tired. Heavy shadows hung under her eyes and her red mane of hair looked like she’d run a hand through it one too many times.
“Nice to meet you,” she whispered as she ducked her head and arranged her hair so it fell into her face, hiding her face from him.