Chapter 22
Chapter
Twenty-Two
“Of courseyou have to go to New York,” Gemma said. “An audition is amazing. Don’t worry about the classes, I’ll get in a sub or something.”
“Are you sure?” Cassie frowned. “I don’t want to leave you in the lurch. This place is important to you. And to me.”
“I know,” Gemma replied calmly. “But I’ve got this. Seriously, if you don’t go to New York, you’re fired.”
“You can’t fire me,” Cassie said.
Gemma grinned back at her. “Seriously though. This is important. You said yourself you’ve been looking for a sign of what to do next. What if this is it? What if our teachers were right all those years ago about the Trifecta? We didn’t go through all those years of painful music lessons for no reason.”
“But I’ve only just gotten here.” And she liked it here.
“And you’ll be back. I don’t know why you’re looking so worried. This is a good thing.”
Cassie took a deep breath. “I know. But it’s all so soon.”
The two of them were sitting in the diner on Monday evening. Gemma’s mother-in-law had taken the children to the movies, and Riley was working so the two of them had decided to head straight out after locking up the dance school.
Gemma tipped her head to the side, looking carefully at Cassie. “Are you talking about the band or you and Pres Hartson?”
“A bit of both, I guess.” Cassie let out a mouthful of air. “I just don’t like that things could change. Not when I feel like I’m settled for the first time in a lifetime.”
And that was the truth of it. It felt like she was finally home, in a town she’d just discovered. She’d hit her rhythm with her classes, she’d found fun with the band, and now there was Pres and Delilah.
“Maybe this is what you need,” Gemma told her. “To go back to New York and see what you’ve been missing.”
Cassie frowned. “What do you mean?”
“What if you’re settling here because you’re afraid?” Gemma lifted a brow. “You moving here was only supposed to be temporary.”
“Are you trying to fire me again?” Cassie’s throat felt thick.
“Absolutely not. But you’re different than me, you always have been. You have the fire that I never had. I’ve seen you on stage, it brings you to life. That first time I saw you dance in New York was amazing. Don’t you want to feel that again?”
Cassie’s chest tightened. “I don’t know,” she admitted. She wasn’t sure what she wanted.
“This could be a good thing,” Gemma told her. “And you get to audition with Pres. You don’t even have to leave him behind. What’s not to like?”
Letting out a mouthful of air, Cassie nodded. Gemma was right, this was a good thing. It was just the fear making her feel awkward. The fear of failure. The fear of losing.
The fear caused by that stupid accident.
“Anyway, who else can I live vicariously through?” Gemma asked. “Did you know while you were getting loved up by the hottest single dad in Hartson’s Creek, I was being woken up by my seven-year-old daughter who wanted to know what a lesbian was?”
Cassie’s eyes widened. “What did you tell her?”
Taking a sip of her coffee, Gemma shook her head. “I was really patient. I lovingly explained about different types of families and relationships. Told her love is love, and that we need more of it in this world, not less.”
“Well that’s pretty cool,” Cassie said.
“I thought so,” Gemma agreed. “Until she looked really confused and asked me how this applied to fishies. It took me another ten minutes of questioning to realize she was asking about amphibians. Stupid David Attenborough and his gorgeous documentaries.” She pouted.
“Seriously?” Cassie asked.
“Seriously,” Gemma agreed. “I don’t think I’m cut out for this parenting thing. I just keep making mistakes. So let’s talk about you instead.” She leaned forward, her eyes sparkling. “I heard you and Presley made it official.”
“You and the rest of Hartson’s Creek,” Cassie muttered. “I can’t tell you how many moms asked me about it when they were picking their kids up from class today.”
“Ugh.” Gemma wrinkled her nose. “People do love to gossip. But don’t worry, tomorrow the subject of the day will be my excellent parenting skills.”
Cassie chuckled. “You’re a great mom. You don’t have to worry about that.” She took a sip of her coffee. “Even Presley got some questions about us at the construction site. It was so funny. He sounded disgusted when he told me.”
“He called you today?” Gemma asked, her head tipped to the side.
“A few times,” Cassie admitted.
“Oh that man has it bad.” Gemma clapped her hands together. “And he should. I’m so pleased for you.”
“It’s still new,” Cassie pointed out. Because she was trying not to get giddy herself. “Neither of us wanted to tell people yet. It’s only because of Delilah and his fear that somebody else would say something.”
Gemma put her hands on her chest. “He’s such a good dad. Isn’t that hot?”
“It’s smoking,” Cassie agreed, sighing.
“And he has that grumpiness, too.” Gemma grinned. “Except when he’s with you.”
“Oh, he’s grumpy with me,” Cassie said.
“How?”
Cassie bit down a smile. Because his grumpiness almost always ended in sex. It was hot. It turned her on. She liked the challenge of making him smile.
And when he did, it felt like waking up on Christmas morning to see that Santa had come.
Except it wasn’t Santa who got to come.
“Come on. Give me the details. The last time Riley and I had sex I think Clinton was still president.”
“You were an infant when Clinton was president,” Cassie pointed out. God, she loved this woman. Especially because she knew Riley and Gemma had a great sex life.
“I know. And it was actually last week, but then Andrew started crying because there was a butterfly in his room and he thought it was a baby bat.”
Cassie snorted.
“And you can laugh all you want, but when you move in with Presley you’ll have to deal with this too. You think Delilah won’t try to walk in on you while you’re doing the dirty?” Gemma asked. “She’ll make it her mission. You’ll never be able to have free and easy sex again.”
“You make it sound so enticing,” Cassie teased. “And anyway, we’re not moving in together.”
“But you will.”
Cassie shrugged. “We haven’t talked about it. And I don’t think he’d want to take that step without a lot of talking. It’s a huge commitment. Bigger than marriage because that’s just between two people. This is three.”
“Do you feel ready for that kind of commitment?” Gemma asked.
Cassie’s chest tightened. “It’s a little scary,” she said. “Because Delilah is such a lovely little girl. I could never hurt her. So I’d have to be ready. We all would.” She took a sip of coffee. “I’d hate for her to ever feel the way I felt whenever my mom ignored my calls or didn’t visit.”
“That’s why you’re such a good person,” Gemma said, patting Cassie’s hand. “Because you think of other people before you think of yourself.”
“We have less than one week until the audition,” Alex said, as the four of them sat around in the studio behind Presley’s parents’ house. “And we have to get this right. It’s make or break, kids.”
Presley lifted a brow but said nothing. Cassie glanced at him from the corner of her eye. She knew he still wasn’t happy about this whole audition. That he was only doing it for the rest of them.
Or for her, more specifically. And it made her feel warm and sad in equal measure.
“It’s just an audition,” Presley murmured. “Four songs and we go home.”
“They’re putting us up in the Carlton,” Alex said. “It’s right in Midtown, near everything. They wouldn’t do that unless they were serious.” He shook his head. “Come on, don’t you want this to work.”
Cassie caught Presley’s gaze and smiled softly at him. “He’s making it work,” she pointed out. “He’s been working all the hours he can to get ahead on the construction work. And he’s gotten his mom to look after Delilah.”
“Yeah, well we’ve all made sacrifices,” Alex said, rolling his eyes. “I was supposed to go on a first date that weekend.”
Marley coughed out a laugh. “Your sacrifice is appreciated, man,” he said, patting Alex’s arm. Then he turned to look at Cassie and Presley. “How long after we sign do we have to wait before we replace this goon?” he asked them. “Bass players are a dime a dozen in New York, right?”
Alex blinked. “You can’t replace me.”
“Bassists get replaced all the time,” Marley told him.
“Yeah, but if we get signed, that’s our names on the contract.” He looked unsettled. “Right?”
“Sure.” Marley nodded, looking amused. “Whatever you say, man.”
“Can we get on with this?” Presley asked. He’d been edgy all night. Cassie knew it was because he was exhausted. Trying to run a business, take care of his daughter, and keep everybody else happy was taking its toll on him.
She’d had to nag him to go to bed most nights this week when he called her. Told him that paperwork could wait unless it was invoices he was waiting on being paid.
But she was determined to make this up to him. She knew he was doing it for her. Not just her, but Marley too. She’d learned that Presley loved quietly but hard. He was a brick wall of emotions. They were all there, keeping him steady, but you only got to see them if he let you come close.
“Okay, let’s go with our first song,” Marley said, standing up and walking over to the drum set. He settled himself behind it while Presley lifted his guitar strap over his head, and Alex did the same.
Cassie stood behind the keyboard, her eyes still on the only man she wanted to look at. He glanced over at her and smiled when he realized she was watching him.
When they got to New York this man was getting all the blow jobs. And apart from the audition, she wasn’t going to let him lift a damn finger. If he was working his ass off to make the rest of them happy, then she was going to show him how much he was appreciated.
With her hands. Her lips. Her body. And yeah, she’d probably let him occasionally come out into the sunlight and breathe in some fume-filled Manhattan air.
Marley beat them in, and Presley started to strum, his soft, thick voice filling the room.
And as the rest of them joined in, she felt a little shiver down her spine, because they were playing well. Really well.
Somewhere along the line this had gone from a little bit of fun to something serious. Possibly permanent. And yeah, she was talking about the band, but she knew it was more than that.
He was more than that.
She was in love with Presley Hartson. With the lead singer of the band she was playing in. It was so damn predictable she should have seen it coming from the start. But all she knew was she didn’t want it to end.
She’d do anything for this man. Even give up her dreams.
Again.
“You okay?” Pres asked Cassie as they sat outside her house in his car after rehearsals. She’d been quiet all evening. Like she was lost in her thoughts.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She smiled at him. “Sorry, I know you have to get home. We’re wasting time here.”
“We’re not wasting anything.”
“Don’t you want to make out?” she asked him. Because that’s what they did most nights when he followed her home after rehearsals. He’d park behind her car in the driveway and they’d kiss – and touch – until they were hot and needy.
One time he’d gone inside with her, but that had been even worse, because once they were in her house he wanted to stay all night with her. But he had to get home to his kid.
So they made out in his car instead. Until one of them pulled away and told the other to go home.
“I’m not here because I want to make out with you,” he said, his lip quirking. “I’m here because I like being with you.”
“Stop talking like that.”
“Why?” He smiled at her, curious.
“Because you’re making me fall for you even more.”
His throat tightened. He tried not to think too much about the way he was feeling for Cassie. It was complicated and difficult, all mixed up with his need to be a good father, and the guilt he still felt over her being without a mother.
And now he was planning to leave his kid for a couple of days so he could go to this stupid audition.
He was already feeling guilty about that, even though his mom had assured him they’d love to have her while the band headed to New York. And sure, his head told him that everybody would be happy with the arrangement – not least Delilah who’d be the center of attention at his parents’ house
But his heart told him she only had one parent. And he was abandoning her, if only for a few days.
And then there was the other guilt. The knowledge that he was doing this as a favor to the rest of them. He was adamant that if the label showed any interest, he’d suggest they find a new singer. There were enough of them around.
Even if the thought of Cassie singing with somebody else made him feel a little dizzy.
But she deserved a break. They all did. They didn’t have the ties that he had, and he shouldn’t hold them back.
So if the label showed interest, he’d already decided to talk with his dad to see if he had any suggestions about a new singer. He hadn’t told Cassie that part. Or any of them.
Cassie reached for his hand, sliding her fingers through his before squeezing them tight. He squeezed back. When he looked at her, she had the softest expression on her face. Like she knew what he was thinking.
But she couldn’t know. If she did, she’d think he was an asshole for wanting them to fail.
And right now, he didn’t want her knowing that.
“It’ll be fun, going to New York,” Cassie promised. “We get two nights alone together.”
“Yeah, it will.” He nodded, pushing the bad thoughts out of his head. It would all be fine. He’d make sure it was. He was just being stupid, seeing things that weren’t there. Worrying about things that hadn’t happened.
“Now go home to your daughter.” She leaned forward to press her mouth against his. “And call me later.”
He kissed her back. “I was planning on it.”