Chapter 10
A moment later, Roscoe came over and guided me deeper into the shadows of the stage.
“Got some chairs over here set up for you. I know my dogs are barking since we’ve been on our feet all day. I don’t know how the kid does it.”
I smiled at Roscoe’s sweet gesture and waved off all offers of snacks and drinks. I was still full from our late dinner. Roscoe stepped back after promising to be nearby if I needed anything.
Pulling out my phone to keep my hands busy, and maybe not look like a loser, I realized we hadn’t taken any pictures together. And I hadn’t taken any pictures of the festival. Or with Monica after her show.
What was wrong with me?
This was an epic life moment, and I had nothing to document it.
Maybe it had been posted on social media. But before I could look it up, someone sat in the chair next to me.
Jacob. Ben’s Dad-ager.
Oh joy.
“So you think you have him hooked, huh?” His lip curled in disgust. “You know his bankability is entirely down to his fuckability. What are all those teenagers and young adults going to think when he’s dragging you behind him everywhere?
” He paused and leaned closer to me despite me trying to shrink away.
He followed my dodge until he leaned so close I could smell what he’d had for dinner.
Beef, I was guessing. “It’s going to kill his sales, and then we’re going to be fucked . ”
I flinched as his last word blasted me with spittle.
What the hell?
“Jacob!” Roscoe barked behind us.
I turned in relief. Roscoe loomed behind me, then he stepped between mine and Jacob’s chair.
“Don’t you have somewhere else to be.” It was phrased as a question, but the tone in Roscoe’s voice made it more of a command. “The kid made it clear, she’s hands off.”
I felt like I’d wandered into Wonderland, and everyone knew their parts except for me.
After tossing me one last glare, Jacob pushed his chair away with a harsh screech. Once he’d stomped away, I was able to breathe somewhat normally. I was used to Lydia coming at me, but I knew to expect it, so I could brace myself. Jacob had just blindsided me.
And maybe the blissful day had lowered my shields more than I knew.
I turned to thank Roscoe, but he wasn’t even looking at me. His gaze was trained on all the comings and goings.
And I felt so very alone.
I tried to enjoy the moment—when would I ever be here again?—but the ugly scene with Jacob had stolen all my energy. I just wanted to hole up in a bedroom with Ben and lose myself in him. And maybe dream about calling Monica’s manager tomorrow.
I didn’t understand why we were here, and I really wasn’t all that excited to hear Reuben Bello. Most rap I’d heard was full of angry, misogynistic music. Not really my cuppa.
So many loooong minutes later—an eternity really—Roscoe pressed a hand to my back before quickly dropping it. “It’s going to start in a minute. You’ll want to move a little closer to get a better view.”
I really didn’t. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to listen to Reuben yell about being an asshole. But Ben was excited about whatever was going on, and I wanted to be here for him.
My smile probably looked fake as hell, but I still walked to where Roscoe had gestured then accepted his offered ear plugs with a more enthusiastic smile. They wouldn’t muffle all the sound, but it was better than nothing.
“This is the story of a boy chasing fame,” a voice whispered over the sound system, “before it was all fucked up by a bitch!” The same voice yelled before a driving rhythm joined in.
Ben ran out on stage, a microphone in his hand.
Ben was onstage rapping.
I felt like a total moron.
My Ben was Reuben Bello.
I’d spent the whole day with Reuben Bello.
And I never knew.
He never told me.
The whole day played out behind my closed eyelids like a horrible clip show. All the stupid things I’d said. All the comments I’d made about his music. All those people talking about seeing him.
And I’d never known.
“Oh god.” I groaned, covering my face with my hands. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. I wanted to get the hell out of here before Ben— Reuben —could come back. I was so fricking embarrassed.
But I was also trapped.
I was literally standing on a floating stage with no escape.
I was going to have to stay and watch Ben’s show.
Because it was a show. He ran all over the stage, microphone in hand, and never sounded out of breath. He’d clearly earned all those muscles doing what he loved. He was grinning. Winking at the audience. His hands came out like he wanted to hug the screaming girls on the edge of the beach.
What he never did, however, was look in my direction.
And the longer the concert went on, the more I understood that I never knew this man at all. The Ben I knew wouldn’t call me a bitch, wouldn’t scream for revenge and rap about slashing tires.
This whole day had been cosplay for him.
The man I’d fallen in love with had never existed at all.
Every song felt like a knife to my gut. What the hell had I been thinking?
I shouldn’t be feeling this betrayed.
But I definitely should be feeling this stupid. I should’ve known better. Fairytales weren’t real.
A flurry of activity at the side of the stage drew my attention. They were already starting to assemble the floating pier walkway. Probably because this was the last show of the night, and they wanted to pack up as soon as they could.
Perfect. The second the path was in place, I was getting the hell out of here.
“Goodnight, Oregon!”
I was never that lucky.
Because the next thing I knew, a sweaty, panting Ben— Reuben Bello —was standing in front of me with his mic at his side.
He just stared at me with this intense gaze that earlier today would’ve made my heart skip a beat.
“I feel so stupid.” The words came out bitten and a little bit broken.
Like me.
Ben—Reuben—blinked.
The crowd on the beach continued to chant his name.
“Is this a game you play at every tour stop? Trick some clueless bimbo into sleeping with you? See how long it takes her to realize she’s in bed with a celebrity?”
Reuben Bello shook his head. “No. No, Emma. That’s not what this was about. That’s not who we are.”
“ Were . Did I at least win? Am I the most clueless woman you’ve tricked into bed? Is there a prize or something?”
“Emma, no. That’s not what today—what we are about. I, I, I…wanted to be just a man with you. And then once I got to know you, it was impossible to tell you who I really was. You—”
“Ben! It’s encore time!” someone shouted from behind him. “You need to get back out there before they start rioting.”
“Fuck.” Ben closed his eyes for a second before opening them again to stare intensely into mine. Tears welled in my eyes. He bent toward me and I flinched away. “Goddammit. Stay. Please, stay. This isn’t over. We have a lot to talk about. Please don’t leave.”
I shook my head and whispered, “I can’t.”
“Ben!” someone barked. “Get your fucking ass out there on that fucking stage! Now! ”
Ben closed his eyes again, then let go of my shoulders and walked backwards away from me.
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I watched him go.
He lifted his microphone to his mouth. “I’m back, motherfuckers!”
I had to look away. That wasn’t my Ben.
That had never been my Ben.
The stage jolted slightly. I turned to watch two guys attach the floating pier walkway to the stage again. Once they stepped onto the stage, I took off. Roscoe yelled something behind me.
I stepped onto the floating pier, and tripped. Something bunched around my foot.
The stupid scarf Ben had given me.
My lip curled in disgust as I remembered how thrilled I’d been he’d wrapped it around my hair. It’d felt like the beginning of us.
Kinda fitting that I kicked it free at the end of us.
I left it on the pier—a twist of fabric and broken dreams—before I ran the rest of the way across.
I pushed past a few security guards and ran down the fixed pier to the beach and the parking lot beyond. Stopping on the curb, I watched people stream around me in groups, talking and laughing as they headed for their cars and their happy homes.
Neither of which I had.
And at this time of night, it was going to be impossible to get a rideshare I could afford.
I was debating my options when I heard a man shout my name.
“Emma? Emma!”
I turned with dread pooling in my stomach. I so didn’t want another confrontation. But instead of Ben or Roscoe, I found Hunter from the diner and his wife standing there, staring at me in confusion.
“Hey! It is you!” Hunter grinned at me then shook his head. “I thought you gave us your tickets.”
I relaxed at the friendly faces. “I did. But then Gwen and James got together and gave me a VIP pass.”
“Oh wow,” Livy, Hunter’s wife, gasped. “I bet you had an amazing day.”
“You could say that.” I tried to wipe surreptitiously at my wet face.
Livy tilted her head. “Do you need a ride?”
“That would be great. Thanks so much.”
She smiled. “That’s what friends are for.”
Hunter grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to him and then pressed a kiss against her temple. She melted into his side.
It was all so hard to watch. I wanted what they had.
But apparently that wasn’t meant to be.
Not for me anyhow.