Chapter 13 #2
He let it ring once. Twice. A part of him wanted to make her wait, to return the favor. But his thumb was already swiping before he could stop himself.
“Speak.”
Silence.
Not the kind he expected. Not that you mad at me, silence women played when they wanted control. This was different. He heard the static of the line, the kind of shallow breathing that told him something was wrong.
His chest tightened. He almost said her name, but her voice coming through stopped him.
“Hey Brooks,” she whispered exhaling.
“Two weeks, Tay?” He bit out. “It took you two whole weeks to hit my line. A nigga been in agony, and you hit me with some soft-ass ‘Hey Brooks’. Why you leave like that huh?”
He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t relieved.
He hated how good it felt to hear her voice.
But behind that relief was irritation. Deep.
Hot. She had him out here feeling shit. And obviously doing it alone.
He’d been obsessively thinking about her.
Wanting her. His vibe had been off. Everything at work was pissing him off. He’d barely even been staying home.
“I needed some time to process what happened between us. Clean up this mess.” She sounded small, uncertain. He didn’t like that. Someone had made his woman retreat.
Brooks exhaled slowly, rubbing a hand over his head.
“We had a good time like grown people do. What was there to process?”
Taylor swallowed. She wasn’t stupid. She heard it. Felt it. Knew damn well what he wasn’t saying. Things had shifted between them, and there was no use pretending otherwise.
She closed her eyes, pressing her forehead against the steering wheel of her car. “Yeah, but…” She uttered. Frustration dripped in her tone. He wasn’t getting it. “You have no idea what you did to me, do you?”
Brooks’ jaw twisted. “No, Tay, I don’t. All I know is I gave you the night of your life and woke up in an empty bed. That shit was foul.”
“I know,” she said quickly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do after... after that.”
“I did what you asked me to do,” he said. “Provide good dick and good vibes. I’m still confused baby girl.”
Her eyes snapped open. “That’s not the point, Brooks.”
He let out a short laugh, low and unimpressed. “Then what’s the point? ‘Cause all I hear is excuses as to why I ain’t heard from you in two weeks after you slipped out of my bed without so much as a, bye, a kiss my ass, or anything. You could’ve robbed me and I would’ve respected that more.”
She clenched her fingers around the phone. “I’ve never, neverrrr.” She stopped, dragging her last never out, exhaling hard. “Ever experienced anything like that before. The way you touched me, the way you made my body shake. I didn’t know what to do with all of that. I still don’t.”
Brooks inhaled slowly.
Exhaled slower.
“So what you need from me now? That’s what this is, right? You need something.”
“No,” she whispered. “Brooks, no. I don’t need anything. I just... I don’t know how to make peace with any of this. I’m trying.”
“You’re trying?” His voice was soft now. But not gentle. Just...weary. “Trying to make peace with me? With us?”
“I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that we went too far,” she said, voice shaking. “It was... too much. Too soon.”
Brooks chuckled bitterly. “Too much? Too soon? Okay.”
“You’re my best friend’s brother,” she continued. “I’m still married. I have no business near you, living and acting like those aren’t very real reasons. None.”
“I know,” he said flatly. “I just don’t give a fuck. About my sister knowing. About that nigga. Your people. I don’t give a fuck. I give a fuck about you. Why can’t it be that simple?”
That made her flinch. Not because it was cruel, but because it was true. And she may not have known what to do with it, but she was glad he didn’t sugarcoat anything for her. She didn’t know what his response was going to be but she should’ve known it would be nothing but the truth.
“Everybody else gets to live their lives, but you huh?” he added. “Sounds like you moving backwards to me.”
“It was everything, all at once. The car. The gifts. The care. Tyree missed my birthday two years ago. I just stopped celebrating but you refused to allow me to do that. But you wouldn’t let me. You showed up with no expectations. That’s new for me.”
“I hear you but don’t take me for granted because of that. I’ve been your ear and shoulder. You could’ve said that. Instead, you ran.”
“I don’t take you for granted. I love it. I appreciate it. But I’m learning I deserve it. I got scared. It was too much.”
He paused. Then said, real low, “So if it was too much... why you on my line?”
Her stomach flipped. His heart stopped. He didn’t like talking to her like this but she wasn’t the only one in this with feelings and needs.
“Brooks... don’t be like that.”
“What you want me to be, Tay?” he asked. “You want me to pretend I’m ok with not having you in my life. I’m done making those promises. I don’t want to be your friend.”
“I miss you.” Those three words fell out, quiet but so heavy.
She continued, “I miss you holding me like you did. Touching me like you mean it. I miss your hands. I miss your scent. I think about you more than I should. I want you more than I can admit.”
She paused. Then added, softer:
“But I need you to hear me... and not act on it. Not yet. My whole life is falling apart, Brooks. And the one person I want to run to is the one who scares me the most.”
He inhaled through his nose and rubbed his beard. The line went quiet.
“I hear you,” he said.
A pause.
Brooks closed his eyes. Her confession settled in his chest like grief did when everything was still. Any other time, with any other woman, his pride would’ve had him hanging up, deleting her number, and moving on without a second thought.
But this wasn’t any other woman. Her honesty disarmed him.
“I just need to know if you’re willing to make space for me. If that’s too much, I’ll respect it. But if you’re asking me to fall back, you need to say that with your chest. Because if it ain’t you, it ain’t for me, Taylor.”