Chapter 33
When I was a little girl there was a drastic weatherman who must’ve fought with his wife every night and took it out on the whole state. Anyway, just about the time he got the thermostat turned all the way up to UNBEARABLE there would spring up one of those “old timey” revivals.
The ground had cracks in it big enough to hide army tanks inside. The creek threw back a cloud of dust when the old men spit in it. We were rationed to six drops of water per day. And my Grannie, who dearly loved revivals, thought we couldn’t miss ONE meeting.
It wouldn’t have been so awful bad going every night for weeks on end if they would’ve had some sort of fans in the church!
I mean other than those paper ones they stuck in the little slots on the back of the pews where the hymn books went.
Remember those? They always had a picture on one side and a scripture verse on the other.
I suppose if they would’ve had a method of cooling the ENTIRE building their technique would’ve been a failure. They used that heat to the best of their advantage.
That ole preacher man would start out looking right cool in his three-piece suit and tie.
He would be telling us all about how wonderful it would be to go to heaven.
In a little while his voice would begin to rise, his coat would come off, then his vest, and finally the tie!
! THEN he would roll up his shirt sleeves and begin his fourth hour of preachin’.
The congregation would be feeling the singe of the fire which was “seven times hotter’n even that very night” and they would be workin’ their arms completely to a state of exhaustion tryin’ to COOL themselves with those paper fans!
The picture and the verse would be goin’ so fast that you couldn’t see neither one!
The preacher probably felt like he had accomplished great things when he left ’cause even the ancient bootleggers would be heaven bound.
And the next summer he could’ve come back and converted the same people all over again ’cause soon as winter came, they forgot all about “seven times hotter’n this right here!
” They even wished for a little heat then.
After this past week I may NEVER complain about cold weather again!!!