Chapter 35
All the good qualities of life, as well as the bad ones, must be passed out when we are tiny babies.
That’s why human mothers have their offspring in hospitals and not out in the hay barn like kittens.
That way there’s a matter of three or four days when the young’un is tucked away in a nursery where no one REALLY knows what is going on!
Someone in a long white robe with a huge book of good and bad things comes in and begins “passing out”.
That’s why Johnny has a big nose—he thought they said “hose” and ordered a long one.
Sally thought they said ROSE and ordered a big red one!
! And Tommy thought he heard “beers” and ordered two tall ones—it was really EARS!
Janie thought they said pies when they passed out eyes and she ordered two BIG ones! !
When I was a baby, I made lots of errors. When they passed out impatience, I thought it was some kind of flower and put in a requisition for eight million which I have received in full measure. My husband says that I want everything done YESTERDAY!!
This week I have used up a large percentage of my quota of impatience since I’ve undertook the job of teaching my daughters to embroider!
My grandmother, who had a halo and wings when it came to patience, taught me when I was little.
Neither of the girls’ grandmothers have made attempts to teach them, so I decided that they must not go through life not knowing the feminine, almost extinct art of embroidering.
BUT I thought you showed them how ONE time and they became INSTANT professionals.
That ain’t how it works!! There’s forty million ways a little girl can tangle up the thread into knots, eighty-four dozen yards of thread on the back side of the work, and the cross-stitch colonial girls look more and more like abstract Star Wars characters.
I shall NOT complain! The tea towels will dry dishes just as well as if every stitch was perfect.
It does seem a shame that I have wasted so much of my impatience on this, though.
I’m really concerned that I may not have enough to get me through the dating years when I’m supposed to rant, rave and throw beautiful fits of anger when the kids are thirty seconds late from a date! !!!