Chapter 48
Did you quickly run a comb through your hair, sling on your clothes and make a mad dash to the drive-in window at the bank last Monday?
And did you get all bent out of shape wonderin’ where the cashier was, only to FINALLY realize that it was a legal holiday and the cashier was at home catching up on the afternoon soap operas.
Since I’ve been out of school a century or two and I don’t get to hear about the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria, I tend to forget about old Christopher and fail to give him his just due on Columbus Day.
It is a shame! We all oughta work a little harder at rememberin’ the gentleman—at least on HIS day!
! Just think about the whole situation! He set out on a journey, not knowing WHERE he was goin, WHAT he was searching for, or HOW he was going to get there—and he did it all on borrowed money.
Now he was one shrewd talkin’ businessman!
! Bet he would of been one heck of a good vacuum cleaner salesman!
Then he got his three ships all in a row and commenced his journey with a bunch of men who thought they were going to fall off the FLAT earth any minute.
Can you imagine sailing out into the wild blue yonder without a telephone or even telegraph to communicate from one ship to the other, without a television to watch Star Trek, Dallas, or Johnny Carson after hours at night or even a VISA charge card—just in case one of the swanky stores has a sale on a gorgeous little fur coat to take home to that certain somebody.
Well, ole Chris took off without anything ’cept his ships, a bunch of dried beef and a kiss from the local lass who was sweet on him!
It might be interesting to see if WE could manage the same feat this day and age. We could ride up to the White House in our mule pulled chariot and ask to speak to the BOSS!!
…Hey, Uncle Jimmy, we got us three little boats tied up we want to buy. We’re goin’ to sail off out into the sunset and discover a new world, rich with all kinds of goodies oil and peanuts…
Uncle Jimmy, don’t I look at us so mean-like. Flash us a pearly white smile and give your BankAmericard! We’ll bring it back safely and we’ll even wait ’til Nov. 5 to leave so we can cast our vote the RIGHT way!!
I’m afraid we’d slide right out of the big house flat on our fannies! But we do have to tip our hat to the old boy who DID manage the affair.
It’s wonderful actually to know which ancestor to blame for our present-day crisis! We now live in a land where NO one knows where he’s going, what he’s searching for, or how to get there, and he’s doing it ALL on borrowed money. Touche, Cousin Chris!!!