Chapter 57
Just one more week of frantic shoppin’ left until D-Day!
! Just seven more days of trying desperately to find the perfect gift for great aunt Sally who has returned everything ANYONE bought for her for the past century, for the brother-in-law who has everything including a gold toothpick, for the family mutt and the orphan cat who adopted the family last week! !
Seven more days of war as we battle crowds, learn the martial art of pushing and shoving, and stand in checkout lanes long enough to wish we hadn’t stopped for that last cup of coffee.
However, Christmas Day is a joy—all the stores are closed so we don’t have to worry about the sales—maybe they won’t even have them this year.
And what do we do on Christmas Day??? Well, the days of baby dolls that do nothing are almost gone. Nowadays they come in an assortment of doin’s. I understand there’s one that even produces diaper rash on its plastic bottom.
But the thing which has completely undone me is all these computerized toys!! Mercy!! We bought our middle child a “simple” one for her birthday—one of those “for five years and older” kind.
I figured surely I could master a five-year-old toy. After all I’d conquered Lego blocks and Tinkertoys several years ago. ’Course they WERE “three years and older.”
My figurin’ was wrong on this computerized mind-taxin’ toy though. It took three weeks before I heard the little beep: beep beep-beep which indicated I was a winner!! Until then I only got the B-a-a-a-g loser noise that’s twice as LOUD as the winner series of beeps.
Boy, did it ever feel good to be a winner!! UNTIL the kids informed me, I was a winner ONLY on the idiot-level-one! There are three more levels to conquer before I am truly a champion-level-four winner!!
I don’t play with the toy anymore—it’s back to the Tinkertoys for me. I think if they go on sale after Christmas, I may buy one for great aunt Sally, though. I can hide it until next Christmas and year-old sale items cannot be returned.