19. Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Nineteen
S kye
The frantic need to fill every silence with words gradually fades, leaving a comfortable quiet between us. Our hands remain linked, a warm connection that grounds me in this moment. When I think Thrax isn’t looking, I allow myself to steal glances at him, really taking him in.
My barriers crumble, and I admit to myself what I’ve been trying to ignore—I find Thrax incredibly attractive. It’s not just his huge frame and perfect muscles, though that certainly doesn’t hurt. There’s something about his quiet strength, the gentle nature he hides beneath his tough exterior, that draws me in. His personality and the glimpses I’ve seen of the man beneath his facade fascinate me.
A protective urge wells up inside me. I want to help him, to ease the pain I’ve seen flickering in his eyes. It’s too soon to ask about what happened in his mind for those long moments I sat on the floor outside his door. That wound is still too raw. But maybe we’ve built enough of a rapport for me to ask about something else I’ve been concerned about. Although he’s vulnerable, this may be the perfect time to bring this up .
Taking a deep breath, I gather my courage. “Thrax,” I infuse my voice with gentleness, “can I ask you something? About your ear?”
His hand tenses slightly in mine. I’ve seen him cover the misshapen ear with his left hand when he feels anxious. It’s a testament to the trust we’re building that he doesn’t pull away. He gives the smallest nod, his eyes guarded.
“I noticed it’s shaped differently than your other ear,” I say carefully. “Usually, that’s from some kind of physical trauma. Do you know how it happened?”
Thrax’s brow furrows. “I assumed I was born this way,” he admits. “It’s been like this for as long as I can remember.”
My heart aches at the confusion in his voice.
“Can you tell me about your childhood?” I ask softly. “Were there people who… hurt you?”
His eyes cloud with memories. “The farm owner and his wife,” he says quietly. “They weren’t kind. There were constant mean words, hitting with hands and… whatever was nearby. Almost daily ear-cuffing when I didn’t learn tasks quickly enough.”
I squeeze his hand, offering silent support.
“I took the liberty of looking into the condition.” I watch him carefully for any sign of anger at my presumption. “It’s called cauliflower ear.”
To my relief, rather than being upset, he seems touched by my concern. Encouraged, I pull out my phone and show him some pictures I found.
“Look.” I scroll through the images. “It’s quite common among wrestlers and boxers. There have been advances in surgery, painless surgery, to correct the appearance, if that’s something you’d be interested in.”
Thrax leans in, studying the pictures with intense curiosity. “Painless surgery?” He doesn’t hide the disbelief in his voice. I imagine the field surgeries he probably witnessed in his ludus or the arena were anything but painless.
“Yes. Painless surgeries. I’m sure Varro and Laura would approve the operation if you wanted. They’re in charge of the finances for the project.” I pause, then add, “I’d go with you, you know. To the surgery. I’d be there when you wake up from the medicine that puts you in a deep sleep and keeps you from feeling pain during the procedure. There will be pain afterward, of course, but there is medicine that will help with that too.”
He gently takes the phone from me. As soon as I show him how, he’s enlarging before-and-after pictures as skillfully as if he’d owned a smartphone his entire life. When he looks up from the screen, his gaze finds mine. Then, slowly, a smile spreads across his face—a genuine, warm smile that reaches his eyes and makes my heart clench.
“You would do that?” he asks softly, his voice filled with wonder.
I nod, feeling a blush creep up my cheeks. “Of course. That’s what friends are for, right?”
Thrax’s smile widens and warmth spreads through my chest. In this moment, I realize just how much I’ve come to care for this man. And judging by the look in his eyes, I think he’s starting to care for me, too. And, even better, I think he trusts me.