Chapter 10
To say the ride back was awkward was an understatement on Dove’s part.
May refused to ride in the carriage with her even after Eveleen ordered her.
If it was a serious matter, she could have been charged with treason for disobeying a direct order.
Instead, Eveleen let it go, and they rode back in silence.
She apologized multiple times to Dove who sat silently on the ride back.
All she could think about was the look on May’s face. Nothing had ever hurt Dove more.
May’s face was painted with fury and anguish.
If she wasn’t so attuned with May’s pheromones, she would have assumed May was overcome with anger, but instead she was experiencing an overwhelming sadness.
A sense of betrayal. She had never seen or felt May so distraught.
It caused a physical pain in her chest, constricting her every breath.
Dove’s Omega whined. All she wanted was May’s smile back.
The smile that lit up her heart. Instead, she saw a tear running down May’s face as she mounted her horse and went ahead for a perimeter check.
She hadn’t seen her for the rest of the ride. Dove never felt so guilty. The pups growing in her were a result of May and her. When they got back to the palace, Taylor rushed to her and Eveleen’s side, bringing them to the medical wing.
“Tell me everything. No details spared.” Taylor stood next to Eveleen, holding her hand while the doctor examined the back of Dove’s head along with the pups.
Eveleen launched into telling her wife what happened.
Taylor rumbled at one point, placing a soft chaste kiss on her wife’s lips.
Taylor noticed she hesitated near the end.
“What else is it? Is it the reason you’re so distraught, Dove?
” She glanced between the pair of Omegas, running her hand up and down Eveleen’s arm.
Dove, who had been previously glancing into Eveleen’s eyes, looked away.
She wasn’t angry with Eveleen; she was angry at herself.
She was the one who caused the pain on May’s face. Her.
“Dove I am so sorry I—”
“You did nothing wrong. You were right to express your concern, I just wish she hadn’t found out that way. Her Alpha was crying when she found out.” Taylor’s audible gasp broke through the silence.
“She knows?”
“She knows.” If Eveleen wasn’t rooted to her side, Taylor might’ve dashed out to check on May. It was who she was. A loyal friend, always concerned with her family.
“Have you talked to her?” Taylor moved closer to Dove. The presence of her best friend provided little comfort. What she needed now was her Alpha. The sire of her pups.
“I was going to, when I was ushered to the medical wing by my Queen.” She bumped her shoulder with Taylor’s. She loved Taylor but she wished she was less protective right now.
“As soon as we get the guarantee that my nieces or nephews are okay then you can talk to her.” She bumped back. “But I also think maybe she might need more than a few hours to process.”
“I understand but—”
“This is out of left field for her. You knotted, she thought you took the herbs, but instead you didn’t, and you haven’t discussed anything since then.
May would never suspect that you are pregnant, and knowing May, she is taking every emotion she has at one hundred and ten percent Dove, especially because—” She cut herself off to look at Eveleen.
“Especially what?” Dove gripped her best friend’s hand, dragging her gaze back to her.
“It seems my wife isn’t the only one who’s horrible at keeping secrets. Granted, I’ve kept this one for almost ten years,” Taylor whispered, then laughed when Eveleen’s lips turned upward in a sweet smile.
“Taylor?”
“May has been in love with you for years.” Dove’s mouth instantly went dry.
The words rang through her ears. She thought through every interaction she had with May over the last few years.
All were blinded by her frustration with the Alpha but if she tried to look past it, she could see the small caring gestures May had in all their engagements.
She had missed it all along. The way May would make sure she was safe, well-fed, and happy.
She always made sure Dove was happy, even though Dove held nothing but annoyance for the Alpha.
She didn’t deserve her. Especially not to mother her pups.
“I must go talk to her.” Dove stood up, clutching her belly. The pups in her were the closest link she had to May right now.
“Hold on a second. The doctor hasn’t even let us know if the pups are okay.” Eveleen, the voice of reason, stepped in to grab Dove’s other wrist so she didn’t leave the room.
“They feel fine.” Both Queens had a questioning expression as she headed for the door. The doctor stepped in with papers and a vial of what she assumed was medicine.
“Miss Dove?” He glanced at the three pairs of eyes watching him as he flexed the parchment between his hands.
“It seems that you and the pup are okay. With the head damage, I did want to provide you some medicine for any potential pain. It will not harm the pup at all. I would also like to see you again in two weeks to check on the pup.” She tried to ignore the singular use of the word pup and focused on the good news.
“That sounds like an excellent plan, doctor. I’ll make sure Dove is here for that checkup. In the meantime, we will retire to our rooms.” Taylor shook the doctor’s hand before ushering them out of the room.
As she walked the corridor, Dove thought of everything she would say, but Taylor spoke first. “The only thing May wants is true validation. She has never once thought she was enough for you and definitely not now with a pup. Dove, explain your choices. I still don’t know how you feel about having her as your co-parent, but that little part of her DNA is growing inside you, so you have to discuss your feelings. ”
Taylor left her in front of May’s door. She had never been so nervous to knock in her life. The May behind the door wouldn’t be her Alpha anyways. She would most likely be angry, demanding things of Dove. Either way, she wasn’t ready for whatever version answered the door.
***
The last few hours of May’s life were the most horrifying. She had killed people on a battlefield, lost multiple friends, and many events in between, but nothing made her feel as horrible as finding out the woman she loved was pregnant with her pups and refused to tell her.
Once May had heard the words outside the carriage, her brain pieced everything together. The exquisite smell coming from Dove, the acceleration in her rut, the extreme possessiveness she felt for the Omega.
She sat further down in her chair, swirling the bottle of whiskey she had.
Her legs were wide open as the fire crackled in her ears.
May’s limbs were tingling with the alcohol in her system, but it was barely enough to dull the mental pain.
She was unable to stop herself from replaying the memory from earlier in her mind.
Every single bone in her body felt crushed with the weight of the truth. She wasn’t enough. She would never be enough for the woman she loved. She had never felt this awful.
May felt like every breath was choking her. It wasn’t air she was breathing, but poison. It didn’t help that the words kept ringing in her ears. Like a funeral bell tolling.
Pregnant.
Dove was pregnant with her pups. Dove didn’t even respect her enough to tell her. To care about how she would feel to tell her Alpha.
She took another swig of her drink, swallowing down the burn when a knock sounded on her door. She knew immediately who it was. She could smell the initial honey and now the overwhelming scent of the pups filled her nose. Those were hers. The pups’ smell was used to warn Alpha and Omegas alike.
She could barely move from the chair when Dove pushed the door open, to which May almost cried at the sight. She was a radiant beam of light.
“May?”
“What, Dove?” She swirled the whiskey bottle in her hand again, before almost downing the rest of her bottle. The Omega entered her space, still dressed in the same outfit as before, some dirt lining her dress.
“How much have you had to drink?”
“Does it matter? It is not like I am pregnant.” She slurred her words, but they still halted Dove in her tracks. It was a low blow, but it was all she had right now to keep from breaking her heart anymore.
“Maybe not, but I assume you don’t want to feel bad in the morning.
” Dove squatted in front of her, trying to draw the bottle out of May’s hands.
May gripped it even harder, dragging the bottle to her lips.
Chugging more than a few gulps, she kept eye contact with Dove, whose Omega was clearly displeased at the action. Her lower lip trembled.
“Did that make you feel a bit better?” Dove asked when May finally relinquished the bottle to her. Dove placed it on the ground, still settled in front of May who could barely focus on the Omega’s golden irises.
“Are you pregnant?” May could barely force out the word as she kicked her feet to the side. Even though Dove’s dress was caked in dirt, she was as gorgeous as ever.
“May I—” She cut herself off, gripping May’s hands to bring her attention back to Dove.
May’s Alpha broke at the sight of the pretty Omega in front of her.
The tension between them was so thick it could be sliced with a knife.
So much hurt and distrust flowed between them.
May knew Dove wasn’t entirely at fault for the lack of communication.
Yet to find out such an important piece of information through someone else ate away at her.
Was she truly so low on Dove’s radar that she never felt the need to be included in this decision?
May would carve her heart out if Dove asked, but right now it was shattered.
“You are pregnant. With a pup. You always wanted a pup. I am just sorry it is mine.” She wanted another swig of her whiskey. Dove never trusted her! Once she pieced it all together, she felt stupid. So stupid. Obviously the reason Dove smelled better was because her scent was all over her.
“Don’t say that, May. Please don’t ever say that again.
” Dove moved, pulling May to stand with her.
She slowly guided them to May’s soft bed, who lay sideways as Dove set her down.
All she wanted was to shove Dove away, curl up, and cry, but every piece of Dove was meant to draw her in.
Her pheromones, her scent, her beauty. May was hopeless.
“You clearly do not think I am ready either. But how am I supposed to traipse around every day knowing you are holding my pups? Knowing one day soon you will have my pups, and I will not be there because you do not trust me.” May would cherish her pups.
As soon as she discovered that Dove was carrying her pups, she knew every responsibility was second to her family.
Nothing was more important than her family, no matter how unconventional it was.
But she was still angry. May loved Dove.
She wanted to be her mate, have a life with her, to love her with every inch of her soul, but she didn’t want Dove to feel the same out of spite.
Her pups would be brought into the world regardless of the parents’ relationship, but looking at Dove standing in front of her, she fought every urge to break down and cry.
The Omega, the woman she loved, didn’t love her in the slightest.
“We’ll figure this out, May. I promise. I was planning on telling you soon, but I figured you would piece it together before.
I know that isn’t an excuse, but I am so sorry you had to hear it from someone else.
” Dove stripped off the first layer of her clothes to not get May’s bed all grimy.
Her undershirt and undergarments were still covering her body. She lay on her side, facing May.
“Why did you not take the herbs? I sent them to you.” May lightly brushed the orange strands out of her face. There were tiny grains of dirt in them. Dove’s content sigh lifted a bit of sadness off May’s chest. Just enough that she felt she could breathe.
“I was so angry at you for leaving me. When we were together, I got a glimpse of how you truly felt and then you just left.” Dove’s hand went to her belly.
“It was dumb and by the time I realized it had been days later. I didn’t want to take them and hurt the pup accidentally, even if I wasn’t pregnant. ”
May moved as close as she could without touching her fully. She rested her forehead on Dove’s collarbone. She smelled like May, bringing a small smile to the Alpha’s face.
“You could feel what I felt?” She pressed a tiny kiss to her skin. There was little to no resistance left as she lay in bed with Dove again.
“Your pheromones were giving you away when you were in me. This overwhelming sense of happiness, relaxation, and love. It made my heat so much better. I thought maybe it was just the moment, but afterwards when you were caring for me, it was so much clearer.” She kissed May’s head.
“Then when we separated, I had a realization that I felt that way too, outside my heat…I spent all my time analyzing us, May. You have always been the kindest soul to me. I’ve been so naive. ”
“Do not talk down about yourself, I will not hear it.” Slurring her words, May snuggled closer into Dove’s warmth, a deep sigh fighting its way from her chest.
“I know I’ve spent years hating you but that was my own heartache.
I thought you were engaged with other women, and I was jealous.
I wanted you to want me and only me, but May I want to raise our child together.
I want to be with you. I want to stop denying myself.
” Dove whispered her words, afraid that it’d break any bit of progress they had made.
She could finally admit how she felt, why she hated the Alpha, but she didn’t want that reason to push May further away.
“I want that too, but I think we need to have an honest conversation first.” Lazily, May threw her arm over Dove’s waist, pulling her in closer. “I am still upset but I want to try, just not when I am so sleepy.” The Omega’s hands played with the ends of May’s golden locks.
“Why don’t we just lie here? We can discuss the rest tomorrow.
” Dove pulled the blanket over them while May surrendered to the warmth of her Omega.
She knew that she would remain frustrated with Dove and herself for a while, and that they had work to do, but while May lay there in Dove’s arms, she slept peacefully for the first time in weeks.