Chapter 1 #4
“What are you doing?”
“Getting this.” Using the knife he found in the sink, he cut his sandwich and offered her half.
She tried to refuse, but he insisted.
Ryder, being a kid and not understanding the gravity of sparse food, said, “I’ll take it!”
“Perfect.” Smug, Joey handed it over to her son. “I wanted mine on crackers anyway.”
“Crackers?” She had to be joking. No one ate peanut butter and jelly on crackers.
“Yes, it’s delicious.” She got out a pack of saltines.
Dubious, he asked, “You’ve tried it before?”
Rather than lie and say she had, she improvised with, “Peanut butter on crackers is great, right? Jelly will just make it better.”
Ryder bounced in his seat. “I wanna try, too.” Somehow, he’d already devoured half a sandwich.
Using her son like a taster, Joey gave him the first one. Ryder crammed the whole thing into his mouth, made “mm-mm” sounds, and gave them both a thumbs up before downing half his glass of milk.
With that endorsement, Joey tried her own – and agreed. “Tasty.”
Still unconvinced, Hendrix made one for himself.
He popped it into his mouth, chewed, and... Okay, not too bad. Picking up the knife, he cut his half sandwich into fourths and shared with Ryder again.
Having no idea what else to say, Hendrix ate in silence while Ryder talked about Christmas, how he wished it would snow on the beach, how awesome a real tree would be, how he planned to ask the Santa in town about getting a dinosaur for a gift, and the next art project he planned to work on.
So many things that Hendrix couldn’t tune out.
The kid was full of exuberance, and Joey, despite the difficulties ahead, seemed genuinely happy. Unlike him, they focused on the remaining good, without dwelling on the bad. It was something he couldn’t do because the bad things that happened on Christmas were permanently burned into his brain.
Damn it, he couldn’t bear it. Now that he’d recalled it, all the air seemed to be leaving the room, forcing his lungs to labor. Godawful memories crowded in, turning the crackers in his mouth to dust until he struggled to swallow.
“Hendrix?”
He downed the glass of milk, hoping – praying – that Joey had more in the refrigerator. Abruptly, he pushed back the chair and stood.
Joey looked at him with worry, and in her eyes he saw something that closely resembled sympathy. Hell, no. He could pity her with her limited funds and lack of options, but no way would he allow her to lob the same at him. He turned to go.
Surprised, Ryder rushed to his feet. “Mr. Becker?”
Feeling like the biggest bastard alive, Hendrix took a step toward the door. “Sorry.” He needed to leave, to escape... but he couldn’t go like this, not with Ryder’s face pinched in confusion and Joey appearing so concerned. “Next time is my treat. How about pizza tomorrow?”
Ryder cheered.
After nervously licking her lips, Joey explained, “I’m tutoring late tomorrow. The rest of the week, actually.” When his gaze dipped to her son, she said, “Ryder will be with me, of course.”
How did she tutor with Ryder along? Now wasn’t the time to ask her. “I see.”
The tentative smile that touched her mouth put him even more on edge. “We could make it Saturday, unless you have plans?”
Yeah, his plans were to get back to isolation, to suffer through the holiday alone. Also, agreeing meant she’d be here the rest of the week.
But then, he already knew he wouldn’t force her out. Doing so would put her in an awful position. At least he’d have a few days to reconcile himself to the invasion. Or the possible moments of pleasure at having her and Ryder around.
Uncomfortable with that thought, he ran a hand over the back of his neck. “That would be fine. Six o’clock?”
She slipped her arm around Ryder, resting a maternal hand on his shoulder. “That works for us.” In an obvious ploy to make it as painless for Hendrix as possible, she said, “We’ll only be able to spare an hour, though. Is that okay?”
Hendrix didn’t bother asking why, he just accepted the lifeline.
He could get through an hour. “Perfect.” When he opened the door, a gust of rain-scented wind refreshed him.
The air he sucked in felt thick with the promise of a storm.
Bad weather would suit his mood, but worry for Joey and Ryder chased away that sentiment.
He turned to her. “You have flashlights? Candles? In case a storm knocks out power? Even if it doesn’t, it’s going to be a dark night.”
Unreasonably stoic, at least to his mind, she lifted her chin and said, “We’ll be fine.”
The first sprinkles began to fall, so Hendrix nodded, started to pull the door shut, but turned back. “Thanks for inviting me, Ryder. It was nice.”
An ear-splitting grin filled the boy’s face. Dashing away from his mom, he grabbed Hendrix in an awkward, waist-high hug. “Yeah, it was real nice.”
Bending, Hendrix used one arm to embrace him back and wondered what else he should do.
Ryder stepped back to grin, showing off his missing tooth. “I can’t wait for pizza.”
In that case, Hendrix was glad he’d offered. Maybe he could insist they eat at his house – where Christmas didn’t dare intrude.
Liking that idea, he lifted a hand in final farewell, pulled the door shut, and immediately heard the lock clicking into place.
Yeah, Joey was definitely worried about something.
Wondering about that, while also dreading Christmas, kept his thoughts churning as he walked briskly past empty lots and a deserted playground to his house.
It was nicely shielded by a privacy fence on one side, evergreen huckleberry around the front, and Sitka spruce behind him.
Even when the park was full, he sometimes felt alone.
Which was exactly how he wanted it, damn it.
Now, however, with only Joey and Ryder in the park with him, he wouldn’t have a moment’s peace. Every second of every day he’d be aware of them – of her – and somehow he had to get past it.
Because he knew he wouldn’t evict her out of the park.
He couldn’t expect a single mother and an adorable kid to figure out financial issues during Christmas. Though he’d thought it was dead, apparently he still had a heart. For the first time since relocating from Indiana to Oregon, he felt the strong beat of it in his chest.
Now what?
At least he’d have the week to try to figure it out.
Or so he thought.
Somehow, every single day, he managed to run into Joey and Ryder.
First, while they were out taking a walk along a trail. He never encountered anyone on the trail, but they were getting in some exercise before she headed out to tutor.
Next, he saw them at the grocery store. He kept his trips to town as brief as possible and loaded up so he wouldn’t have to return.
In and out, that’s how he liked it. But now he saw her cart, holding only selective items, all of them marked down.
When she noticed him taking quick inventory, her chin went up and her spine stiffened.
Joey didn’t want pity any more than he did. Noted. He tried to quickly move on, but Ryder had other plans and somehow he got drawn into a fifteen minute conversation. Untenable!
Once, while he was repairing a swing at the playground, Ryder showed up with Joey in tow.
Ryder was so fascinated by the various tools he used, Hendrix took the time to show him how to use each one, and even let him “help” with a few things.
Joey had been content to idly swing nearby – and watch.
A small but beautiful smile stayed on her face, as if she took pleasure in seeing her son happily engaged.
And damn it, that gave him pleasure, too.
In one way or another, he tripped over the two of them every day, sometimes twice a day.
Surprisingly, it was never that unpleasant.
There were no mentions of Christmas, and at least now Barbie had pants.
Hideous pants with crooked seams, but still, they covered her butt, and she had a crooked cape to match.
When he saw it, Hendrix had to muffle a laugh.
Joey’s face had gone pink, her mouth twitching, when she gave him a teasing shove.
Ryder was happy, and he told himself that was what mattered.
To his surprise, by Saturday he was actually anticipating seeing them again. They’d become the highlight of each day. The open enthusiasm of Ryder and the easy conversation with Joey made every encounter special.
It also made Hendrix want her even more.
She would remind Ryder of his manners and all Hendrix could see was the way her lips moved.
She’d tuck back her hair and his own fingers tingled with the need to feel those silky curls.
When she walked away, he couldn’t get his gaze off her body – and he had to fight against the instinct to call her back, to linger with her.
Occasionally, he’d catch her watching him with her wide green eyes full of yearning, and he’d suffer a tidal wave of lust.
Who knew things could change so quickly?
More importantly, that he could change so quickly? It was almost a miracle – and Christmas didn’t have a damn thing to do with it.